Horror gripped Xinxin as the voice next to her ear laughed mockingly and a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. Her stomach rebelled as she was lifted up and carried away. Her mind was racing. Cold sweat and panic broke out in her. She was unable to use a talisman, and Jia Fu had taken her sword some time ago. Xinxin's mouth was covered as the man dragged her into a side alley. She kicked her legs frantically and tried to scratch and bite the man.
But all her efforts seemed in vain. She was too weak, she couldn't do anything. The man threw her onto a pile of straw in a small stable. The noise of the festival seemed far away, her ears were ringing and she tried to scream. 'If you keep quiet, young lady, I might let you live afterwards,' the man laughed.
He was tall, broad, and dirty, stained clothes stretched over his corpulent belly. Xinxin stared wide-eyed at the figure approaching her, her thoughts racing. What should she do? No one would hear her, no one would see her. Suddenly, a black shadow shot out of the darkness. The man stiffened, clutching his throat, gurgling sounds coming from his mouth, and the little demon she had saved that afternoon positioned himself in front of her, hissing. The man fell forward, blood spurting from his throat. Xinxin lunged forward to press down on the wound. If the man died, no one would kill the little demon.
'Run,' she whispered to him.
'Run away, if anyone sees what you've done, you'll be killed,' she urged. The little demon looked at her for a long time. His glowing black eyes only turned away when the blood between Xinxin's hands slowly dried up. Her gold-coloured hanfu was stained with the man's blood.
'Are you done now?' a second voice rang out. The little demon hissed again. He knocked over a shelf of clay pots leaning against the stable, and a deafening noise rang out. Xinxin trembled. All the chaos overwhelmed her. Fear and responsibility fought within her.
'Go now,' she pleaded. 'Please.'
The boy grumbled as if he had expected more gratitude, but quickly disappeared when the lights came on in the house behind them.
'What's all this noise?' someone shouted. 'You'll replace those pots...' The voice fell silent. Within seconds, the alley was filled with onlookers. A murmur arose and someone screamed.
'She killed him!'
Xinxin jumped up, her hands still on the man's neck. Her silver hairpin had fallen out of her dull braid and lay in the pool of blood.
'No, I...'
'A'Xin,' someone called. A'Shui pushed her way through the crowd. She froze when she saw Xinxin crouching over the man. She covered her mouth with her hands and looked at her in shock, her eyes wide. 'A'Xin, what have you done?' she whispered softly. Before Xinxin could explain herself, Jia Fu appeared. He pushed the crowd back.
Soldiers came running. They looked confusedly at the chaos and the blood-stained girl. Jia Fu knelt down beside her. Xinxin's eyes filled with tears.
'Jia Fu, I...' she began.
'Taking a human life is the greatest sin one can commit,' he said expressionlessly. Xinxin's gaze, which had just been fixed on him hopefully, slid past him. Her vision became blurred. She hadn't murdered anyone. If she said it was the little demon, would anyone believe her? A'Shui calmed the grumbling crowd. Then Xinxin realised there was no escape.
Even if she blamed the demon, either no one would believe her and she would be accused of lying, or Jia Fu would blame her anyway, after all, he had warned her more than once that demons killed people. Her hands slid from the man's neck, and so she didn't even hear when someone spoke to her. Only when she felt A'Shui's pressure, the warm hand on her shoulder, did her vision clear. It felt like a stone, like a boulder being dumped on her, and she would have broken under it if A'Shui's voice hadn't brought her back.
'It's better if you tell the truth, A'Xin, then maybe we can still help you,' she said gently. Xinxin opened her mouth. Her throat and mouth were dry as dust. The truth. Suddenly she laughed joylessly. Jia Fu pulled A'Shui away from her and looked at Xinxin with utter disappointment and contempt.
'Guniang, you must accompany us to the guardhouse,' said one of the soldiers, grabbing her arm. Xinxin let herself be hoisted up. The hairpin, her fan and her small bag lay carelessly in the alley. Someone grabbed her. Numb, clammy fingers clasped her insides and made the blood in her veins freeze.
'A'Xin, please come to your senses,' A'Shui begged her through her tears. Xinxin allowed herself to be led away by the soldier. Stares, murmurs and condemnation from the people followed her. The cold crept under her clothes, penetrated her skin into her bones and muscles and paralysed her heart. Everything went black.
Liu Yan couldn't see what happened next. He only heard a babble of voices. One of them belonged to Tao Cui.
'She would never do such a thing.'
And Mi Bai.
'Maybe it was self-defence.'
A'Shui.
"Maybe she was just defending herself. She hasn't been doing very well lately. She couldn't tell right from wrong. She saved demons and became increasingly hostile towards us.'
And finally, Jia Fu's serious, determined voice.
'Xinxin killed a human being, for whatever reason, and that is unforgivable. I will take her to the ice grotto, where she shall reflect on her transgressions and go into seclusion. Perhaps we can still guide her back onto the right path."
'I'm coming with you. I can't leave A'Xin alone after everything she's done for me,' A'Shui cried anxiously.
'Right, let's get some distance from worldly things first. I'll ask my Shizun if I can use the Pure Lotus Sect's library. Maybe I'll find something there that explains her behaviour,' Tao Cui offered.
'I can't explain it. Was there a mistake in the manufacture of her medicine? Did she poison herself? She never made a mistake and was always reliable. She healed my Fuchmal. If there is anything I can do, I will do it,' Mu Bai said resolutely.
Xinxin woke up slowly. Everything was spinning and it felt as if she had lost the solid ground beneath her feet. When she looked up, she saw Jia Fu kneeling beside her bed. He dabbed the sweat from her forehead and rested a hand on her cheek.
'The fever has subsided,' he said softly. Xinxin looked around. She was in a small room. She rose slowly.
'You should rest for a while. We managed to rescue you from prison with great difficulty, under the pretext that you were ill,' he explained. Xinxin felt exhausted.
'How long have I been gone?' she asked in a weak, trembling voice. Jia Fu sighed.
'Almost five days,' he replied. 'Your qi has almost completely dissipated, why...' He paused, as if remembering not to start another argument. Then he stood up.
'Jia Fu,' Xinxin clung to his white robe. He turned around once more and gently took her hands in his.
'A'Xin, you'll get better soon,' he promised softly. Xinxin shook her head. Explaining everything had been pointless. But she just wanted to, she wanted to.
'Please,' she begged.
'Jia Fu, please let's go back. Back to the peach grove, okay? Back when everything was still fine,' she begged in a hoarse voice. Jia Fu closed his eyes briefly, as if he were really thinking about it. But then he shook his head slightly.
'You can't just run away, A'Xin, you have to face your inner demons,' he said firmly.
'I'll do whatever you say, just please, please, please let's go back or somewhere else. Just you and me somewhere...'
'A'Xin,' Jia Fu said, gently stroking her cheek. 'I'll take you to the ice grotto, where you can reflect on your transgressions,' he said.
Xinxin's hands ran over the fabric of his robe, and she would have fallen over if he hadn't held her. The ice cave was a prison. It was where sinners who had broken the rules of the sects and free Xia were locked up. She would be imprisoned forever, locked in the ice. Tears ran down her cheeks.
'No,' she said, standing up unsteadily. Everything was spinning, and she had trouble staying upright.
'A'Xin,' Jia Fu called as she rushed past him out of the room. Mu Bai and Tao Cui jumped up; they had been waiting outside the room when Xinxin rushed out.
It was freezing cold. She was wearing nothing more than his thin robe. No coat, no shoes. She was shivering all over when her vision cleared and she realised she was on a ship. Xinxin staggered,
'A'Xin,' she spun around. A'Shui was coming towards her.
As always, he was worried and full of doubt. Xinxin backed away. Where could she go? The railing pressed against her back; there was no escape, no way out. She felt the heat of the fever inside her.
'Don't touch me,' she screamed shrill. Xinxin looked at Jia Fu pleadingly.
'I'll do anything you say, just please don't let her touch me,' she begged. Jia Fu took a step towards her. He closed his eyes as if he himself had reached his limits.
'A'Xin, let us help you. A'Shui will take care of you, she means well, and eventually you will realise that too.' A'Shui nodded. She reached out her hand to Xinxin, but suddenly found herself grasping at thin air. For a moment, Xinxin seemed so far away. It took a moment for her to realise that she was letting herself fall. Xinxin felt the wood. With her last ounce of strength, she pushed herself off. She would rather die than continue to endure the ordeal and torture. For a moment, everyone seemed frozen. Liu Yan lunged forward and saw A'Shui place her hands on Jia Fu's chest and casually touch Tao Cui as she tried to run past her. She looked at the two of them fearfully. Mu Bai was too slow-witted to even realise what was happening. Then Xinxin landed with a dull thud in the ice-cold water of the river. When Liu Yan followed her, he plunged into nameless darkness. Everything became blurred. Sounds, smells, feelings.
'I hate her.' That was the only thing echoing in his head.
'Everyone!'