The city of Zhenzhu was beautiful. Just as its name described, it resembled a pearl nestled among mountains and forests. Xinxin wrapped herself tightly in her coat. The cold hit her harder than last year, but it also had a silver lining. Thanks to her many layers, A'Shui could no longer touch her so freely and drain her qi.
'Because of the festival, the city is full, so we'll have to split up and ask for rooms in different inns,' suggested Tao Cui. Everyone nodded.
'A'Xin, shall we go for a walk?' asked A'Shui, wanting to link arms with her.
'I think you should ask at an inn too, A'Shui. Who could refuse you a request?' Xinxin smiled back, forcing a smile. A'Shui looked sad but nodded, and so the four of them walked away, leaving Xinxin to stroll alone through the snow-covered and colourfully decorated streets of Zhenzhu. The city was huge, people bustled back and forth, and lanterns of various shapes and sizes hung everywhere. There were more stalls selling them than jewellery or snacks. Xinxin couldn't help but smile as she looked at a lotus-shaped lantern at one of the stalls.
'You have a good eye, Guniang,' the stall owner praised her. Xinxin smiled apologetically at him. She had no money with her; Jia Fu and Tao Cui were in charge of that, and they were currently looking for an inn. When the stall owner turned his attention to another customer, she slipped away. Did Jia Fu still remember his promise? The last year had been so turbulent and they had made so many new friends and comrades that they hadn't had time to take part in a lantern festival.
In her mind, she was already letting one of the beautiful lanterns rise into the sky with Jia Fu, into a starry, velvety night sky, when someone suddenly bumped into her. She gasped for breath and automatically put her hands around the narrow shoulders of the little boy who had run into her. He looked up, his large dark eyes glowing, his face bruised and covered in cuts. He wore a bamboo hat on his head of tousled hair, which was tangled with sticks and leaves. His clothes were strange and seemed to be made of fabrics he had made himself. He clung to a dumpling and trembled.
'Hey, you there,' a voice yelled. Xinxin looked up.
'Stop the thief, that damned demon. So I can cut off his head.' The boy flinched violently. Xinxin looked up from him to the rough-looking man with the stained apron. She wrapped the boy in her coat and let the angry crowd push her into a side street. They quickly ran on until they were out of sight, then she freed the boy from the fabric. He looked at her with wide eyes, confused and frightened.
'Are you hungry?' Xinxin asked sympathetically. The little demon nodded. Xinxin gave him a few leek pancakes that A'Shui had made for them all and pressed a tin of her five-mile herb paste into his hand.
'Take this and run. You must never come to such a big city and steal again,' she told him urgently.
'You're not going to punish me?' asked the Leine demon, confused. 'Hand me over or kill me?' Xinxin crouched down in front of the little boy.
'Did you hurt anyone? Or harm a human being?' she asked. The boy shook his head.
'Then there's no reason for it. Stay away from big cities,' she told him emphatically, then sent him away. The little demon looked around once more and gave a small, confused bow, then swept across the streets as a small black cloud of mist and disappeared into the crack in the wall surrounding the city.
'A'Xin,' a voice cried out in shock. Xinxin looked around. Jia Fu and A'Shui stood at the entrance to the side alley. Jia Fu's palm was emitting worrying sparks and his gaze, which rested on Xinxin, was impossible to interpret. Disappointment? Concern? Xinxin stood in their way.
'He didn't hurt anyone,' she defended the little boy. A'Shui shook her head in defeat. Her hands were folded, as always, she looked impeccable, and her voice sounded warm and enticing, even when she scolded her.
'He stole, A'Xin, he was a demon,' she said.
'He stole because he was hungry,' Xinxin retorted angrily.
'And what will he do when he gets older? Bigger? Then he'll kill people to get what he wants,' A'Shui replied emphatically.
'How do you know that? You can't condemn someone for something they haven't done,' Xinxin said, getting upset.
'A'Xin,' this time it was Jia Fu who spoke. He stepped towards her and put his hands on her shoulders, then took a deep breath.
'After all this, you still defend these creatures?' he asked wearily. Xinxin freed herself from his grip.
"You talk about sincerity, righteousness, about not prejudging.
That's hypocrisy,' she said sharply. Jia Fu's gaze hardened.
'That's only because you've never seen what they're capable of,' he replied angrily.
'If you had seen all the suffering they bring upon humans, you would think differently.'
'Jia Fu..." Xinxin began.
'Enough now,' he ended the conversation. He took Xinxin by the hand and pulled her along, past A'Shui, who just shook her head pityingly, as if Xinxin had brought this on herself. Jia Fu pulled her along until they reached the largest inn in town. Xinxin wasn't surprised that they still had room here. A'Shui always got what she wanted. Jia Fu only let go of her when he brought her into the room they had rented. Xinxin stood defiantly in the middle of the room and rubbed her wrist. It hurt surprisingly badly.
'A'Xin, what's wrong with you?' asked Jia Fu, shaking his head.
'I've been trying to tell you that,' Xinxin cried indignantly.
'I feel empty, somehow drained, ever since A'Shui...'
'Enough now. Xinxin, you can't always blame others. Arrogant, haughty, and now jealous of a mere mortal like A'Shui? Is that really necessary?' Jia Fu asked angrily. Xinxin froze.
She had pinned all her hopes on him believing her. That he would put their relationship above A'Shui. But every time he rejected her. Every time she hit a wall of disbelief and reproach. Tears welled up in her eyes and a painful lump formed in her throat.
'I'm not jealous,' she said hoarsely.
'You're not listening to me, none of you are listening to me.'
Jia Fu just shook his head. He, too, looked tense and tired and terribly disappointed.
'Stay here, I'll tell Tao Cui and Mu Bai that we've got two rooms,' he said wearily. Xinxin flinched briefly, part of her wanting to hold him back, to cling to him and explain what was going on. But he wasn't listening; she had already done all that. She had begged him on her knees, she had told him that A'Shui would drain her of her qi, but he had just looked at her as if she were the lowest of the low. So she clenched her hands into fists and said nothing. Jia Fu looked back once more, hesitating, but when Xinxin made no move to hold him back, he finally left.
Xinxin slumped to the ground and let her tears flow freely. No one came back, no one checked on her. Even when it grew dark and the music and commotion of the festival drifted towards her, no one had appeared. Exhausted, she pulled her bag close to her. She didn't have much left, as she couldn't carry any more and was growing weaker by the day. As she pulled the fabric of a yellow-orange hanfu out of her travel bag, her heart ached. She had almost forgotten about it. She had bought this hanfu shortly before meeting Tao Cui and A'Shui. She had thought that in one of the bigger cities she would finally be able to go to a lantern festival with Jia Fu. Since then, the dress had been lying at the bottom of her bag. She spread it out. It was playful, the pastel colours giving the impression of a golden shimmering sunset. She carefully smoothed out the fabric. Should she try again? If she reminded Jia Fu of his promise, maybe she could get through to him. Maybe he would remember who she really was. Their time together in the peach grove, her feelings. Xinxin took courage.
She put on the dress and did her hair. She hardly had any jewellery left. Every time she wore any, she felt bad after the others accused her of being arrogant and greedy. So all she had left was a silver hairpin shaped like a peach blossom and set with a light pink stone. When she looked at herself in the mirror, the old Xinxin returned for a moment, and the tired, exhausted version faded into the background. Xinxin took a fan and her coat and slipped out of the room. Some guests stared at her as she left the inn. Xinxin didn't think anything of it; she had often been stared at before, but she didn't attach any significance to it. It was cold outside, but the night was beautiful. Stars twinkled in the sky and the whole city was lit up by a sea of lanterns.
Small clouds of mist formed in front of her mouth. The city of Zhenzhu was winding. Bridges crossed artificially constructed rivers, there were several large marketplaces and a shopping street that could only be reached by boat on one of the wide waterways. Everything was bathed in golden light, and despite the cold, Xinxin felt a certain warmth rising within her. She looked around. Even in this crowd, Jia Fu should not be difficult to spot. She let a few people pass and strolled down a side street along one of the rivers spanned by several bridges when her gaze fell on a couple who were graceful, beautiful and divinely perfect. Xinxin's heart contracted so painfully that she had to hold on to the railing to keep from falling over. Jia Fu was unmistakable in his white robe, the light frost glistening in the glow of a thousand lanterns, giving him the appearance of golden armour made of pure light.
His features were relaxed, even loving, and he smiled slightly as the woman who had hooked her arm through his said something to him. It was none other than A'Shui. No ordinary mortal could look like that. She wore a luxurious hanfu fit for royalty, her hair was adorned with lavish jewellery, and she wore make-up that made her look seductive. The white pink fabric flattered her hips and body. She held a candied hawthorn skewer in one hand and a lotus flower lantern in the other. She rested her head on Jia Fu's shoulder and pointed the lantern towards the sky. Jia Fu nodded. With a little essence power, he made her lantern fly up into the sky and watched how happy she was. The two of them looked happy, intimate. Xinxin hadn't even noticed when her tears had dried up. Her insides were numb, as if burnt out.
It was as if someone had soldered the open wound inside her with a red-hot iron rod. Her hand fell from the railing as she took a step back. Then another. Her vision was blurred as she staggered out of the alley and walked numbly and blindly along one of the long streets. She didn't pay any attention to where she was going. She just put one foot in front of the other, unable to feel anything but the numb emptiness inside her. Someone approached her from behind. Warm, hot breath brushed her ear.
'Where are you going, Guniang?' whispered a hoarse voice.