Living room – 11:12 a.m., still the same endless weekend
Ethan was sprawled across the couch like a melted Pikachu, head in Mia's lap, staring at the ceiling with the empty eyes of a man who had achieved peak boredom.
Mia sat cross-legged, scrolling through her phone, trying to find something (anything) to save the day.
Ethan let out the longest, most dramatic sigh in human history.
"This is boring, big sis…"
Then, in the laziest, most pitiful voice possible (the kind that could weaponize cuteness):
"Feed me milk…"
Mia froze.
He wasn't even looking at her boobs.
He was just holding up an empty baby bottle he'd found on the coffee table (leftover from some weird cousin's visit) like a starving kitten.
Mia's brain took −999,999 cuteness damage.
Her heart exploded into sparkles.
"OH MY GOD YES OF COURSE BABY BROTHER HERE—"
She snatched the bottle, sprinted to the kitchen, warmed some strawberry milk in record time, and was back in 4.7 seconds.
Ethan didn't move his head from her lap.
She popped the nipple into his mouth like he was three years old.
He suckled lazily, eyes half-closed, making tiny "nom nom" sounds.
Mia's soul ascended.
"Anything else, my precious little angel???"
Ethan swallowed, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand like a toddler.
"Play the new isekai anime. The one with the truck-kun episode."
Mia was already clicking play before he finished the sentence.
Opening theme blasted.
Ethan stayed exactly where he was (head in her lap, occasionally sipping from the bottle like a very tall, very bored baby).
Mia stroked his hair the entire episode, whispering "who's my cute little otaku" every thirty seconds.
Ryan walked past, took one look, and just kept walking.
"Never disturb peak sibling energy," he muttered, disappearing into the kitchen.
The anime played.
The milk disappeared.
Boredom level: temporarily defeated.
the anime episode 1
The first thing I smelled was dry hay and woodsmoke.
My eyes snapped open to a ceiling made of woven straw. Sunlight leaked through the gaps, painting golden stripes across my bare chest.
…Right. Truck-kun claimed another victim.
I sat up on the simple cot and rubbed my temples. A half-transparent blue screen floated in front of me, the way every light novel ever told me it would.
Name: Ace
Race: Human
Level: 1
Class: None
Skill: Fireball (Rank F)
Trait: Every 10 levels → Choose 1 skill from 3 options
No overpowered artifacts, no goddess giving me infinite stamina in bed (yet), no system shop loaded with cash. Just the promise of a new skill every ten levels. Honestly? I could live with that.
I swung my legs off the cot, slipped into the rough linen tunic and trousers someone had left for me, and pushed open the wooden door.
Warm morning air rolled over my skin. The village stretched out in front of me like a painting: thatched roofs, colorful market stalls, the ringing of a blacksmith's hammer in the distance. Humans in homespun clothes bartered beside fox-eared beastkin, elegant elves with silver hair, even a pair of curvy succubi laughing over baskets of fruit. No one looked twice at each other's ears, tails, or wings.
A peaceful, prosperous little melting pot.
I took a deep breath and grinned.
"Alright, new world," I muttered. "Let's see what kind of trouble a guy can get into."
I headed down the dirt path toward the center of the village, boots crunching on sun-warmed stones. A wooden sign shaped like a sword and shield pointed the way: "Adventurer's Guild – 300 paces."
Perfect.
On the way I passed an old human with a snow-white beard watering flowers outside his gate.
"Morning, pops," I called. "Which way to the Guild again?"
He grinned, showing a few missing teeth, and rattled off directions like he'd given them a thousand times—left at the bakery, past the fountain with the mermaid statue, big red door, can't miss it.
"Thanks, old-timer." I gave him a lazy salute and kept walking.
Mother Nature was showing off today. Golden wheat swayed in the breeze, apple trees sagged under ripe fruit, and the air smelled like fresh bread and wildflowers. Kids—human, cat-eared, tiny winged fairies—chased each other laughing. No one looked hungry. No one looked scared.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and let out a slow breath.
No Wi-Fi, no air-conditioning, no delivery apps… and somehow this still felt like winning.
Peaceful villages like this always have secrets, though. Behind every smiling face there's usually a quest, a curse, or a lonely widow who "needs help fixing her roof."
I smirked.
Bring it on.
Before I hit the Guild, something pulled me off the path.
A massive oak stood at the edge of the village square, its branches spreading like a green cathedral. Beneath it, the grass looked softer than any mattress I'd ever owned back home.
Good enough.
I flopped down, arms behind my head, and let the warm breeze roll over me. Sunlight flickered through the leaves. Birds sang. Somewhere nearby, wind chimes made of shells tinkled like distant laughter.
For the first time since Truck-kun yeeted me here, every muscle in my body unclenched.
"This… this I could get used to."
My eyelids drooped. The world blurred. Sleep took me like a lover's arms.
…
Something soft landed on my chest.
I smiled in my half-dream. Probably a fairy or something cute.
Then tiny paws started patting my face—
pow pow pow pow pow!
My eyes snapped open.
A sleek black cat perched on my ribs, golden eyes glowing like twin moons. Its tail flicked once, twice, then it raised a paw again—
I jerked upright. "Whoa—!"
The cat launched off me like I'd insulted its mother, vanished into the grass with an offended flick of its tail.
Heart hammering, I sat there blinking.
"…Cute little bastard."
I rubbed the phantom paw-prints on my cheek, stood, and dusted off my trousers.
Nap time over. Guild time.
As I walked away, I could've sworn I heard the faintest feminine giggle carried on the wind.
Probably just my imagination.
Probably.
I was halfway to the Guild, whistling like an idiot who wasn't completely broke, when the cutest ambush in history happened.
A tiny fox-eared girl—no taller than my waist—popped out from behind a flower cart. Three fluffy red tails wagged like helicopter blades. Freckles. Huge amber eyes. A basket of golden-brown cookies dangling from her arm.
"Big bro~ther!" she sang, rocking on her heels. "Wanna buy a cookie? Fresh from the oven! Only one copper each!"
She held the basket up so high she nearly toppled over. The smell of butter and cinnamon hit me like a truck (the nice kind of truck this time).
Half the village square turned to watch. Old ladies smiled. A pair of bunny-eared twins giggled behind their hands. Even a seven-foot ogre carrying barrels slowed down to see what I'd do.
I reached for my pocket.
Empty. Completely, tragically, broke-as-a-joke empty.
My soul left my body.
"Uh… I'm really sorry, kiddo. I literally just got here. Like, today. Haven't earned my first copper yet."
Her ears drooped. The tails stopped wagging. She gave me the saddest little pout I'd ever seen.
"But… they're only one copper… you could buy the whole basket for ten…"
The crowd went "awww." Someone actually booed.
I wanted to die on the spot.
"I swear I'll buy ten—no, twenty—next time I see you, okay?" I crouched to her eye level, trying to salvage my reputation. "Save me the chocolate ones?"
She huffed, cheeks puffed out like a squirrel. "Hmph! Cheap big brother!" Then she spun around, tails flicking dramatically, and marched off muttering "Loser~" loud enough for the whole square to hear.
The bunny twins were now openly laughing. The ogre shook his head like he'd never been more disappointed in a human.
I stood there, face burning, and flipped the sky the bird with my eyes.
Great. Day one and I'm already the village deadbeat.
Note to self: get money. Fast. Before the tiny fox mafia puts a hit on me.
Sighing hard enough to power a windmill, I dragged my broke ass the rest of the way to the Guild.
Meanwhile, two blocks away…
"Mama! Big sis! That stupid human said NO to my cookies!"
A tiny red blur (three tails fluffed in pure outrage) barreled into a small bakery courtyard and launched herself at the most beautiful girl in the entire village.
The "big sister" was kneeling in the grass, carefully counting today's earnings. Long crimson hair spilled down her back like silk. Nine snow-white tails (each fluffier than the last) swayed behind her like living clouds. Same amber eyes as the little one, but sharper, older, and currently narrowed in fury the moment she heard the crime.
"Say that again, Riri," she said, voice dangerously sweet.
"Some broke-looking guy with black hair and a dumb face said he didn't have even one copper! He rejected me! Me!" The little fox stomped her foot so hard one of her ears flopped sideways. "Everyone was watching!"
The big sister stood up slowly. Every tail puffed to maximum volume. A couple of nearby customers actually stepped back.
A level-0 like her shouldn't be this scary, but when you're the prettiest nine-tailed fox in three kingdoms, the laws of physics bend a little.
"Show me," she growled, already rolling up imaginary sleeves. "Show me this mortal who dared make my baby sister sad."
Little Riri's tears instantly dried. Revenge mode: activated.
"He was heading to the Guild! Come on, big sis! Let's go yell at him!"
The nine-tailed beauty cracked her knuckles, tails swishing like war banners.
"No one rejects my little sister's cookies and lives to brag about it."
She scooped Riri onto her hip with one arm (effortlessly, because big-sis energy is also a stat) and marched toward the Adventurer's Guild like a gorgeous, fluffy apocalypse.
Behind her, the bakery sign creaked in the sudden wind of her passing.
I was dragging my feet toward the Guild, mentally writing my villain arc ("Local Man Becomes Demon King Over Cookies"), when another disaster on legs intercepted me.
A cat-eared girl skidded to a halt right in front of me, blocking the entire street.
Same age as me. Level 0 (I could see the little tag floating above her head). Silver hair in twin tails, emerald eyes already brimming with tears, and the fluffiest black tail I'd ever seen lashing like she wanted to commit murder.
"You!" she hissed, pointing a trembling finger at my chest. "Where. Is. My. Precious?!"
Half the market froze.
I blinked. "Come again?"
"My Precious!" Her voice cracked. Tears spilled over. "I trusted you! I turned away for one second and you just… you just took her and ran!"
The crowd went from curious to outright hostile in 0.2 seconds.
- "Scumbag human…"
- "Poor thing, look at her crying…"
- "Tch, men are trash in every world."
An old dwarf lady actually spat on the ground near my boots.
I raised both hands. "Hold up! I literally have no idea what you're talking about!"
She stepped closer, ears flat, fists clenched. "Give her back! Right now!"
"Give what back?!"
"My Precious! She's gone because of you!"
More gasps. Someone behind me whispered, "He stole her virginity and ditched her… classic adventurer move."
My brain blue-screened.
Virginity?! I've been in this world for like four hours! I don't even have copper coins, how am I supposed to have—
A black blur shot out of nowhere and landed on the cat-girl's shoulder with a dignified "mrrrow."
The exact same black cat that had pow-pow-powed my face earlier.
The girl's entire demeanor flipped. Tears? Gone. Anger? Vanished. She immediately started cooing and nuzzling the cat like it was made of diamonds.
"Precious! There you are, my sweet baby! Mama was so worried!"
…Oh.
Oh no.
The cat gave me a smug little smirk (I swear on my fireball skill it did) then curled around her neck like a living scarf.
The cat-girl spun on her heel and flounced off without another word, tail held high, completely ignoring the mob that was now staring at me like I was the kingdom's biggest pervert.
I stood there.
The crowd slowly dispersed, still throwing dirty looks my way.
One guy actually muttered, "Enjoy it while it lasts, creep," as he walked past.
I looked up at the sky and asked whatever god truck-kunned me here:
"Is this karma for the cookies?"
No answer. Just a gentle breeze and the faint sound of a nine-tailed fox apocalypse marching closer from the other direction.
Perfect.
I rubbed my temples and resumed my death march to the Guild.
Today was going great.
I had barely taken three steps past the cat-girl disaster when the front doors of destiny decided to punt me again.
BAM!
The street literally shook as a nine-tailed goddess in full rage-mode stormed straight at me, little Riri riding her hip like a fluffy missile turret.
"There he is!" Riri squealed, pointing with a cookie-crumb-covered finger. "The cookie rejector!"
The big sister planted herself in front of me, hands on hips, nine tails fluffed so big they blocked the sun.
"How dare you," she said, voice low and trembling with righteous fury. "How dare a mere mortal reject my little sister's cuteness!"
She was pouting. Actually pouting. The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen was full-on cheeks-puffed, ears-back, death-glare pouting, and it was so cute I almost forgot how to breathe.
"I—I don't have any money!" I blurted, and in a panic I turned my pockets inside out.
Two moths flew out. That's it. Two dramatic moths and a piece of lint.
Silence.
Then the little sister started a chant.
"Bro~ke lo~ser! Bro~ke lo~ser!"
The big sister joined in instantly, tails swishing in perfect rhythm. "Bro~ke lo~ser!"
Someone in the crowd picked it up. Then another. Within three seconds the entire market square was singing in perfect harmony:
"WHAT A BROKEN LOSER! ♫
WHAT A BROKEN LOSER! ♫
CAN'T EVEN BUY A COOKIE~! ♫"
A circle formed. People were clapping. An elf started beatboxing. The ogre from earlier was doing backup vocals.
I stood there, pockets still inside-out, soul ascending to the astral plane.
The fox sisters high-fived, spun on their heels, and marched away victorious, tails swaying like they'd just won the war.
The crowd dispersed, still humming the new hit single "Broken Loser Ace."
Critical hit.
Critical hit.
Critical hit.
Ace has fainted.
…Except I didn't faint. My shamelessness stat apparently leveled up instead.
I sucked in the deepest breath of my second life, stuffed the moths back into my pocket like nothing happened, and resumed walking.
"Guild," I croaked. "Money. Now. Before the village writes a whole musical about me."