In front of Mondstadt's city gate, the air solidified.
The seven-meter-tall Electro Lawachurl, Matt, made the ground tremble slightly with every step. In the giant bamboo basket on his back, which read "Knights of Favonius Express Delivery," Eula and others were piled up in various bizarre poses; one Knight was even arranged into the shape of "The Thinker."
"The Abyss Order has started sending people to attack Mondstadt City?!"
The guard's voice on the city gate was distorted.
He thought this because Hilichurls would never attack a city; after all, they only want to live and are not murderous monsters, unless they are controlled by the Abyss Order.
Kaeya's eyes widened more than ever: "Wait... why is Amber grooming a Blazing Axe Mitachurl?!"
Indeed, Amber was standing on tiptoes, tidying up the weeds in Zane's fur, a scene very much like an owner grooming a large dog.
Paimon floated in the air and sneezed: "Lumine, do we really look like good people like this?"
Lumine looked at the increasing number of ballistae on the city gate, then back at the Knights arranged like works of art in the bamboo basket... "..."
This was not a Traveler entering the city; it was clearly the ultimate villain bringing spoils of war to challenge them!
At this moment, Mondstadt City was already in chaos:
"Quick, close the city gate!"
"We can't! Amber and the Reconnaissance Team are still outside!"
"That white floating object must be a new Abyss weapon!"
"Did it just sneeze?"
Amber, however, was very carefree. She now completely believed these "Hilichurls" — after all, what kind of villain would:
Cover the unconscious Eula with a small blanket stamped with "Grudge +1"
Help the Knights adjust to more comfortable sleeping positions
Stuff Mora for compensation into everyone's pockets
"Everyone, don't be nervous!"
Amber waved her hands, "They really are good... uh..."
She suddenly choked because Elliot was using an Air Pump to inflate an unconscious Knight — the poor Knight had already swollen into a balloon.
"Stop it!"
Lumine delivered a flying kick, sending the Air Pump flying.
Paimon floated down to the city gate and shouted: "We really aren't bad guys! Paimon is emergency food, not a weapon! Bah! Paimon is not emergency food!"
The city wall fell silent for three seconds, then a synchronized shout suddenly erupted:
"The Hilichurls are starting to eat people!!"
Venti, hiding behind a tree, was laughing so hard he was pounding the ground: "I can't... these outsiders are too interesting..."
"It's over, we can't explain this at all now!"
Lumine looked at the more than thirty ballistae set up on the city wall and desperately covered her forehead.
Suddenly, a Aura flashed — since language was a barrier, they would prove it with actions!
"Hey! You four!"
She pointed at the quartet, "Use your absurd abilities to prove that you are not ordinary Hilichurls!"
the quartet looked at each other. Zane suddenly pulled out a blueprint, and the three others gathered to look:
[Barbatos Divine Outfit Thirty-Meter Giant Colored Figure]
(Note: With dynamic Breathing Lights and voice function)
Jesse's brush paused in mid-air: "This... isn't this a bit inappropriate?"
Elliot had already pulled out his carving knife: "What are you afraid of! Anyway, that drunk bard won't really bring down Divine Punishment!"
Matt silently conjured a "Under Construction" sign and stuck it into the ground.
Ten minutes later, an artistic storm swept through Mondstadt City.
With the sound of "dinging and clanging" from construction, the quartet displayed breathtaking operations:
Jesse outlined with a brush, the lines more vivid than a real person
Elliot's carving knife danced, leaving afterimages, even replicating the divine statue's Ahoge 1:1
Matt was in charge of coloring, mixing skin tones that made professional painters blush
Zane was installing the sound device: "Hmm... this line 'Do something useful, Barbatos' needs to be recorded..."
When the last part was assembled, the four stepped back in unison —
"Swish!"
The dust covering the construction site dispersed, and a lifelike, pure white divine statue of Venti in his divine outfit stood majestically!
Mondstadt City instantly entered a collective shutdown state.
The Knights on the city wall collectively spurted nosebleeds:
"Ba... Lord Barbatos was actually..."
"That waistline..."
"AWSL!!"
Kaeya's single eye was wide open, and he didn't even notice the grape juice spilled all over him.
Amber's bunny ear ribbon instantly turned into a sky-high cannon shape, her cheeks flushed red enough to fry an egg.
The most incredible part was the statue's expression — a shy look with a slight tilt of the head, a coy Orchid Finger, and the continuously looping phrase:
"Ehe~ ☆"
"Boom!"
The real Venti on the church roof fell directly down.
Lumine at this moment: "..."
She finally understood why Dvalin fled so quickly.
Paimon had already hidden behind her: "Tra-Traveler... shouldn't we prepare to run?"
Suddenly, the statue's Breathing Lights began to flash, and the Holographic Projection function installed by Zane automatically activated — the statue slowly raised its arm and gave a perfect wink:
"Want to hear the latest work from Mondstadt's best bard~"
"Thump thump!"
The second wave of Mondstadters collapsed, clutching their hearts.
The real Venti was already digging a hole in the ground, preparing to bury himself.
Final result:
The Mondstadters completely believed that the quartet were not ordinary Hilichurls — after all, no Hilichurl could create such a work of art that would make a god Socially Die.
The church issued an announcement overnight, calling it an "heretical statue."
The Knights of Favonius confiscated the statue and asked the quartet to help place it in the plaza.
From then on, Mondstadt had a new rule: no life-sized Barbatos figures of any kind were allowed.
Lumine watched the quartet being chased and silently moved the priority of "finding a translation tool" to the top.
Additionally,
Mondstadt City's faith system was restructured.
Public opinion polls showed: 87% of Mondstadt citizens stated that their "awe of the gods has decreased, but their sense of intimacy has skyrocketed," especially young believers who began using "Ehe~ ☆" as their prayer ending.
Elderly believers collectively protested but were persuaded by Lisa, who claimed it was "artistic creation personally approved by the gods."
(Venti: ??? When did I approve that?! )
New Laws and Public Order Regulations
The "Mondstadt Special Art Piece Management Regulations" were promulgated:
Prohibits the creation of any 1:1 movable models of gods (but allows Q-Version Figures).
Holographic Projections require prior registration (to prevent another wink critical hit).
Divine statue clothing coverage must be ≥ 60% (Kaeya secretly changed the clause to "including cloaks").
Knights of Favonius internal disciplinary action:
The 30 Knights on duty that night were punished with one month of cleaning for "nosebleed contamination of the city wall," but while cleaning, they discovered the "Barbatos Emoticon Pack" hidden by the quartet in the brick seams.
Economic Chain Reaction
Tourism exploded:
Tourists from various countries flocked to witness the "legendary forbidden statue," and ticket revenue made the treasurer grin from ear to ear.
Derivative black market:
Pirated mini-statues proliferated at the docks, complete with interchangeable outfits:
Limited edition "Abyss Mage Robe" (worst sales)
Bestselling "Bandage-Wrapped ver." (designed anonymously by Zane)
Hidden edition "Serious Barbatos in a Suit" (no one bought it at all)
And so, everyone successfully settled into Mondstadt City.