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Did he wet himself?
Technically, no. Max (the Developer) hadn't programmed a "urinary incontinence" feature into the game.
First, it's undignified. Second, if you pee yourself in VR, what if your brain gets confused and you let loose in real life? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.
But mentally? Spiritually? Wayne's legs were jelly.
Facing Lu Bu's World-Saving Demon-Slaying Slash coming straight for his forehead, Wayne was ready to log out of life permanently.
Fortunately, Edison wasn't just a glowing lamp post.
Seeing his obedient workhorse—uh, Master—about to be turned into paste by this crude brute, Edison reached out with a massive paw and grabbed Wayne by the back of his collar.
YOINK.
With a violent jerk, Wayne was pulled out of the death zone just milliseconds before impact.
BOOM!
The earth screamed. A fissure, tens of feet deep and splitting the concrete like a stale cracker, appeared exactly where Wayne had been standing a second ago.
[Chat]: [Pants]: Nope. My pants are wet just watching.
[Horror]: This first-person view is scarier than Resident Evil.
[LuBuSimp]: Holy crap! Lord Lu is built different!
[Stats]: Are Dragon Country Servants broken? Same A-Rank Strength, but he splits the ground?
[Explanation]: You have an A because that's your limit. He has an A because the grading sheet doesn't go higher.
[Kneel]: I apologize for doubting him. He blocked a minigun with one hand and now he's terraforming the map.
The chat was losing its mind, and rightfully so.
On the field, Lu Bu seemed to calm down after venting a bit of rage on the pavement. He didn't chase Wayne and Edison immediately. Instead, he stood there, watching them like a cat watching a wounded mouse.
To pass the time, he swung his halberd again.
Slice.
A dozen elite mechanical soldiers—made of reinforced titanium alloy—were bisected at the waist. Their upper bodies slid off their legs with a shower of sparks and hydraulic fluid.
Edison, who had been maintaining his confident CEO smile, suddenly looked very serious. The lion's mane seemed a little less fluffy.
He had thought he could drown Lu Bu in a sea of metal. Now? That seemed unlikely.
The opponent wasn't even using Skills. He was just... swinging a stick. And that stick was cutting through advanced robotics like hot knives through butter. This wasn't a battle of numbers; it was a meat grinder.
Most importantly, his Master had just provoked this monster.
Edison looked at Wayne, who was still dazed, and did some quick calculations.
Option A: Protect myself.
Option B: Use my Noble Phantasm.
But revealing his Trump Card now would be a massive strategic loss. Someone as powerful as Lu Bu definitely had high Mystery levels.
While Edison hesitated, he made eye contact with Lu Bu. The giant's eyes crinkled in amusement above his mask.
"Are you done hiding?" Lu Bu asked pleasantly. "Time's almost up."
He took a step forward.
"You scoundrel!" Edison roared, trying to buy time. "You dare ambush the President?!"
Suddenly—
BOOM!
A brilliant display of fireworks bloomed in the starless night sky.
"UMU! TAKE THIS!"
With a furious roar, Nero descended from the heavens like a crimson meteor, her sword wreathed in the Primordial Flame. She slammed into Lu Bu with the force of a crashing satellite.
CLANG!
The sound of metal on metal rang out, shattering windows in nearby buildings.
But the expected result—Lu Bu being wounded, or at least forced back—didn't happen.
Lu Bu stood perfectly still.
He had blocked Nero's meteor strike with one hand.
He hadn't even turned his head to look at her. He just raised his arm casually, catching the blade of Aestus Estus on the shaft of his halberd like he was catching a falling leaf.
"Impossible!" Nero gasped, her eyes wide.
"Noisy," Lu Bu grunted.
Nero was stunned. When Drake had blocked her with two guns, she accepted it. But she had buffed herself! She used Imperial Privilege to copy Monstrous Strength at Rank C! Plus, she had gravity on her side!
How could he block this with one arm, without looking, while standing flat-footed?
While Nero was processing her existential crisis, Lu Bu got bored.
He gave a gentle push, breaking the lock, and then—
THWACK.
He delivered a casual kick to her midsection.
Nero flew backward faster than she had arrived. She became a red streak, a reverse firework, disappearing into the darkness.
It happened so fast that Wayne and The Professor didn't even process it.
Edison, reacting first, waved his hand. "Fire! Shoot the Master on the roof!"
The mechanical soldiers swiveled their guns toward Laomao, who was sniping from a nearby building.
But before they could pull the triggers—
WHOOSH.
Lu Bu launched himself into the air, landing beside Laomao on the rooftop with a heavy thud. He grabbed his Master by the scruff of the neck and jumped down, landing safely away from the line of fire.
"Brother Bu~" Laomao cooed, making a heart shape with his fingers.
Lu Bu: "..."
[Chat]: [Cringe]: I was gonna say "Badass Rescue," but then he said "Brother Bu."
[Skin]: Laomao, wake up! You're wearing Emiya Kiritsugu's skin! Don't act cute!
[Silence]: Even Lu Bu looks done with this shit.
[Theory]: Since Nero is here, are Maverick and Daisy here too?
[Invincible]: Who cares? My son Fengxian is invincible! Bring 'em all on!
[Naked]: Wait... are those two idiots...
[Law]: Maverick, Daisy, put some clothes on! The internet is not a lawless zone!
[Mask]: Some people wear a mask to hide their face. Some wear a mask to hide their shame.
Lu Bu really, really wanted to scream: "BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
But looking at Laomao's face—the face of a cold-blooded killer acting like a lovestruck fanboy—Lu Bu just felt tired. He didn't want to engage.
So, he ignored his Master and turned back to the robots.
ROAR!
He vented his frustration on the machines, carving a path of destruction through the army like a lawnmower through tall grass.
Just as the battle reached a fever pitch, the spotlights on the battlefield suddenly swiveled, focusing on the nearest skyscraper.
There, silhouetted against the light, two figures descended.
It was Maverick and Daisy.
And yes. They were still naked.
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