Kazuki Aoba tripped over his cat while carrying instant noodles to his computer. His foot caught on Mr. Whiskers, who screeched in protest as Kazuki stumbled forward. The cup of steaming noodles launched into the air, creating a brief, beautiful arc of broth and noodles.
His momentum carried him face-first into the metal shelf beside his desk. A sickening crack echoed through his cramped apartment as his skull connected with the edge.
Blood mixed with spilled broth on the floor. Kazuki blinked once, twice, then stared at the ceiling.
"Huh. That's unfortunate."
The pain never registered. His vision tunneled, darkness creeping in from the edges. Mr. Whiskers padded over, sniffed his face, then started lapping up the spilled broth.
"Not even... going to call for help?" Kazuki mumbled. "Some... roommate you are."
His last thought before everything went black wasn't about his family or his unfulfilled dreams or even regret. It was simply: "I never got to finish those noodles."
Then nothing.
Light flooded his vision. Kazuki squinted, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the blinding whiteness. He stood in an endless void, no walls, no floor—yet somehow he wasn't falling.
A blue holographic window materialized in front of him.
[WELCOME USER: KAZUKI AOBA]
[STATUS: DECEASED]
[CAUSE: SUPREME IDIOCY]
[REINCARNATION PROTOCOL INITIATED]
[SKILL POINTS AVAILABLE: 9999]
"Deceased?" Kazuki scratched his head. "That shelf hit harder than I thought."
[PLEASE ALLOCATE YOUR SKILL POINTS BEFORE TRANSFER]
A massive menu appeared, filled with countless skills. Combat abilities, magical aptitudes, physical enhancements—everything imaginable.
"Ooh, 'God-Tier Magic.' That sounds useful."
Kazuki reached toward the option, finger hovering over it. A fly buzzed past his ear. He swatted at it automatically, his hand smacking into the holographic display.
His finger jabbed a skill at the bottom of the list.
[SKILL SELECTED: COMMON SENSE: OFF]
[ALLOCATING 9999 POINTS...]
[WARNING! WARNING! SKILL LEVEL EXCEEDING MAXIMUM PARAMETERS]
[ERROR CODE: 404-LOGIC-NOT-FOUND]
"Wait, what?" Kazuki frowned at the display. "I didn't pick that."
The blue screen flickered, turned red, then split into dozens of identical windows, each displaying different error messages.
[CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE]
[ATTEMPTING RECOVERY]
[USER ANOMALY DETECTED]
[QUARANTINE PROTOCOLS FAILING]
[REALITY SUBROUTINES CORRUPTING]
Kazuki's body began to pixelate, chunks of himself breaking apart and reassembling incorrectly. His left arm appeared where his right shoulder should be. His foot stuck out from his hip.
"That can't be normal." Kazuki observed his distorted body with mild curiosity. "Do I get customer service or something?"
The screens multiplied further until they filled his entire field of vision, flashing between blue and red.
[RECURSIVE ERROR LOOP DETECTED]
[FAILSAFE ALPHA ENGAGED]
[FAILSAFE BETA ENGAGED]
[FAILSAFE GAMMA ENGAGED]
[ALL FAILSAFES FAILING]
[TRANSFER INITIATING REGARDLESS]
[WHAT HAVE WE DONE]
"Customer service is getting one star." Kazuki shook his head as his consciousness scattered across dimensions.
The world rushed back in a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations. Birds chirped. Sunlight filtered through a canopy of leaves. The smell of rich soil and vegetation filled his nostrils.
Kazuki sat up, finding himself in a lush forest. Massive trees towered above him, their trunks wider than his apartment. Colorful flowers dotted the undergrowth, and strange fruits hung from branches.
"Not Tokyo anymore," he muttered, brushing dirt from his clothes.
A blue slime the size of a beach ball jiggled toward him across the forest floor. It moved with surprising speed, leaving a thin trail of moisture behind it.
[TUTORIAL ENEMY ENCOUNTERED: FOREST SLIME]
[RECOMMENDED ACTION: BASIC ATTACK]
Kazuki ignored the floating text and yawned. "I'm tired. That whole dying thing took a lot out of me."
He walked to the slime, sizing it up. It quivered, possibly preparing to attack.
"You look comfortable."
Kazuki flopped onto the slime, which compressed slightly under his weight. The creature vibrated in what might have been confusion or outrage, but made no hostile move.
[ERROR: INVALID PLAYER ACTION]
[SLIMES ARE ENEMIES, NOT FURNITURE]
"Hmm, needs a pillow." Kazuki adjusted his position, stretching across the gelatinous surface. The slime gradually shaped itself around his body, creating a surprisingly comfortable bed.
The blue window flickered frantically.
[ERROR: MONSTER BEHAVIOR PARAMETERS EXCEEDED]
[FOREST SLIME HAS NO 'COMFORT' FUNCTION]
[WHAT ARE YOU DOING?]
"Taking a nap." Kazuki closed his eyes. "Wake me when breakfast arrives."
The sun moved across the sky as Kazuki slept peacefully on his slime mattress. The creature eventually stopped struggling and remained still beneath him, occasionally bubbling.
A low growl disturbed the forest tranquility. A massive dire wolf, its shoulders taller than a man, stalked through the underbrush. Yellow eyes fixed on Kazuki's sleeping form. Saliva dripped from fangs the length of daggers.
[DANGER! ALPHA DIRE WOLF DETECTED!]
[WAKE UP IMMEDIATELY!]
[SURVIVAL CHANCE: 0.002%]
Kazuki snored softly.
The wolf charged, powerful muscles propelling it forward in a blur of gray fur and deadly intent. It leaped, jaws open wide to tear out Kazuki's throat.
Mid-leap, the wolf's teeth caught on Kazuki's cloak. The fabric, flowing upward in the rush of the beast's movement, wrapped around its muzzle.
The dire wolf landed heavily beside the slime bed, paws flailing as it tried to dislodge the cloth from its mouth. It gagged, choked, and rolled across the ground in panic. After several minutes of struggle, the mighty predator went still, suffocated by a piece of fabric.
[ENEMY DEFEATED: ALPHA DIRE WOLF]
[CAUSE OF DEATH: CHOKED ON CLOAK???]
[EXP GAINED: 500]
[THIS DEFIES ALL COMBAT LOGIC]
Kazuki opened his eyes, yawned, and sat up. He glanced at the dead wolf, then at the floating system window.
"Is that breakfast?"
[DIRE WOLVES ARE NOT CLASSIFIED AS FOOD]
[THEY ARE APEX PREDATORS]
[IT NEARLY KILLED YOU]
"I'm still hungry." Kazuki stood, stretching his arms above his head. He patted the slime. "Thanks for the nap. You make a good bed."
The slime quivered.
Kazuki retrieved his cloak from the wolf's mouth, giving it a shake before draping it over his shoulders. He looked around the forest clearing.
"So, is there a town nearby? I'm starving."