The Dao Xuan Tianzun temple was rising at a frantic pace.
After the stunt with the soldiers, the new villagers were thoroughly shaken. Almost overnight, they transformed into die-hard fanatics of the Dao Xuan Tianzun faith.
And when desperate peasants become believers, their work ethic turns terrifying.
Even though they still had no roofs over their own heads, they poured every ounce of energy into building Tianzun's shrine.
The whole of Gaojia Village buzzed with fiery momentum.
This feverish pace had lasted six days straight. Today was the seventh.
High noon.
The sun burned with lethal intensity. The temperature was climbing toward forty degrees again.
Li Daoxuan had just leaned over the box to check on his tiny humans when Gao Yiye's voice called out from below.
"Tianzun! The two sculptor uncles wish to speak with You!"
Here it comes, Li Daoxuan thought. The thing I have been waiting for.
"Let them speak."
Sure enough, the two sculptors stepped forward. They dropped to their knees, kowtowed respectfully, and reported.
"Tianzun, the clay statue of Your divine self and the wooden statue of the Victorious Fighting Buddha are both finished. They are ready for painting."
"Very good."
Li Daoxuan had prepared in advance.
He laid a small piece of tin foil inside the box, flattening it right in front of the sculptors. Then, using a straw he had set aside, he sucked up a tiny drop of red paint and squeezed it out over the foil.
To him, it was a single drop less than five millimeters across. But to the sculptors below, it looked like a sphere of liquid paint crashing onto the metal sheet with a heavy, alarming splat.
The two sculptors tiptoed up to the pool of paint. They dabbed a tiny wooden stick into the red liquid and sniffed it cautiously.
"So this is divine paint from heaven! It is infinitely superior to our mortal lacquer!"
Ming Dynasty lacquer was made from processed tree sap mixed with pigments. It chipped easily and lacked lasting luster, requiring a protective coat of tung oil to seal the finish.
In contrast, the modern paint Li Daoxuan provided was a product of twentieth-century industrial chemistry. It sounded high-tech, yet cost a grand total of fifteen yuan per tin. It offered far superior adhesion, brilliant color payoff, and a high-gloss finish that gleamed without needing any extra coating.
It crushed Ming Dynasty paint in every metric.
A single glance was all it took for the sculptors to confirm this was indeed divine paint.
"That takes care of red! Next up, green, blue…"
Li Daoxuan dripped a single drop of each color onto the foil. One drop was more than enough for their needs. Back when he first started dropping supplies, he had committed absurd blunders like tossing whole eggs into the box. By now, he had mastered portion control.
Seeing every color under the sun laid out before them, the sculptors grew ecstatic. In their trade, they usually worked with three to five dull earth tones. Where on earth would they ever get a palette this rich?
Gold paint, in particular, was extraordinarily precious. Wealthy patrons sent strict overseers to guard gold leaf, doling it out grain by grain under constant supervision. They would never entrust a craftsman with this much gold at once.
Tianzun truly is magnanimous, they thought. Granting us such an enormous pool of gold paint!
Now they could unleash their artistic talent to their hearts' content. Grabbing their brushes, they dipped into the vibrant paint and went to town on the wooden frame of Supreme Treasure Sun Wukong, painting with absolute joy.
Li Daoxuan left them to their work and turned his attention to the nearby site, where villagers were constructing the temple under the blazing noon sun.
The moment his gaze shifted, he saw a villager hauling a heavy stone stumble and nearly collapse. A nearby worker rushed over to support him. The villager set the stone down, clutched his forehead, and sank to the dirt with his companion's help, looking visibly unwell.
Heatstroke?
Li Daoxuan recognized it instantly. July. Midsummer. Noon in a severe drought. The temperature was sky-high, and the villagers were working under the blazing sun. Heatstroke was not surprising. Honestly, the fact that no one had collapsed until the third day was a miracle. How had they held out the first two days?
Shan Shi'er bustled over, urgently directing villagers to fetch water from the pond while a worried crowd circled the fallen man.
Li Daoxuan felt a pang of sympathy for his little people.
What to do?
The answer was obvious.
He walked to the fridge, pulled open the freezer compartment, and took out an ice tray. Picking off a tiny sliver of ice with the tip of his finger, he placed it directly in front of the collapsed villager.
Down below, the crowd was panicking around their unconscious comrade. Someone had just brought a bucket of water from the pond and soaked a rag, intending to cool him down with a wet compress. Suddenly, a massive block of ice descended from the sky out of nowhere.
The villagers froze in shock, then gasped in realization.
"Tianzun has bestowed ice upon us!"
One villager quickly pressed the wet cloth onto the ice. Once the fabric turned ice-cold, they draped it over the fallen man's forehead. Another chipped off a tiny flake of ice, dropped it into a bowl of water, and fed the icy liquid to the heatstroke victim.
After a flurry of frantic care, the man's condition finally stabilized.
Li Daoxuan let out a sigh of relief. Now that the immediate emergency was handled, it was time to prevent the rest of the villagers from suffering the same fate.
He broke off another tiny chip of ice, dropped it into a mineral water bottle cap, opened a fresh bottle of cold cola, and poured it into the cap.
Fizz.
A miniature serving of iced cola was ready. Returning to the diorama box, he gently lowered the brimming cap of cold cola in front of the villagers.
The villagers stared dumbly at a large pool of strange, bubbly brown liquid. A chunk of ice nearly as tall as a person stuck out of the middle, radiating a crisp, refreshing chill. Standing anywhere near the pool sent a wave of cool relief washing right through them.
"What is this?"
"Never seen it."
"I smell something sweet. There is sugar in this!"
"Sugar!"
"But it is bubbling so strangely. Could it be poisonous?"
"When has Tianzun ever poisoned us? Calling this poisonous is utter disrespect to His Excellency!"
"Someone beat this idiot up!"
"Wait. I was wrong. I did not mean it."
The crowd erupted into a noisy squabble, completely forgetting about their heat-struck comrade for a moment.
"Stop shouting, and stop hitting people!" Gao Yiye called out. "Tianzun says this is called Fatty's Joyful Water. Drinking it wards off the heat."
Overjoyed, the villagers swarmed the edge of the pool, scooping up the liquid with cupped hands and gulping it down.
"Gah!"
"Cough, cough, cough!"
"It stings! But for some reason, it feels great!"
"I feel so happy!"
"No wonder it is called Fatty's Joyful Water. Happy I understand. But what does fatty mean? What do those words actually mean?"
Dozens of eager eyes turned toward Shan Shi'er, waiting for the educated man to explain.
Shan Shi'er snorted with supreme confidence. "'Fei' means plump, but it can also mean great or abundant. 'Zhai' means home or family. When put together, 'Fei-Zhai' refers to a grand, prosperous household! Therefore, Fatty's Joyful Water means water that brings pure joy to an entire prosperous family! Do you understand now? This is the profound logic of the immortal realm!"
Enlightenment washed over the villagers.
"Advisor Shan truly is learned!"
Shan Shi'er chuckled smugly, grabbed a large tea bowl, scooped up a brim-full measure from the pool, and downed it in one massive gulp. His eyes squeezed shut instantly.
Cough. Cough. Gag. Burp.
The moment the fizzy drink slid down his throat, its carbonation struck like a battering ram. The sensation was intense, yet wonderfully refreshing. Pure bliss!
A weak, pitiful whimper drifted from the ground nearby.
"Why... why is everyone ignoring me?"
The villagers finally snapped out of their daze. "Oh! Right! Quick, get him a bowl too!"
Before anyone could act, Gao Yiye hurriedly raised her voice to stop them.
"Wait! Tianzun has instructed that anyone suffering from heatstroke must not drink Fatty's Joyful Water immediately. They need to replenish themselves with plain water first. Only after their bodies have recovered can they enjoy the Happy Water!"
The villager lying on the ground looked utterly devastated.
"Does... does Tianzun's blessing not extend to someone like me?"
His head drooped limply to one side.
"Brother! Hang in there! You mustn't die!"
Several villagers immediately rushed over to check on him, only to discover that the crafty fellow was merely pretending to be dead.
The crowd burst into laughter.
"This rascal has already recovered enough strength to put on an act! Get him back on his feet and make him drink a little Fatty's Joyful Water!"
"Hahaha! Burp! Ahhh, this is wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!"