My name is Diyilang.
I was abandoned by my parents right after I was born in the morning.
Before noon, I was picked up by a stranger.
By midday, I was sold off to a couple who couldn't have children. But because I had a huge appetite, cried endlessly, and was never full,
I was resold again in the afternoon—this time to a group of pirates who did nothing productive.
Turns out, this newly formed pirate crew—if you could even call them that—had no structure or discipline whatsoever!
No strategies, no plans, no fallbacks, no cook, no captain, no helmsman, no compass, no supplies, not even a leader…
…And on their very first voyage, they brought me—an infant less than twenty-four hours old.
Their impulsive decision to set sail was backed by a "referendum" style of solving problems: whenever an issue came up, they'd just take a vote.
Who actually "solved" the problem didn't matter. How it was "solved" didn't matter either. The only thing that mattered was voting to send someone off to deal with it.
And so, under this bizarre "smooth-sailing-until-it-wasn't" situation,
—we set sail—the ship capsized—all the pirates fell into the sea—they all died—and I was the only one left—
Then, heartless winds and merciless waves ruthlessly tossed me onto the shore of this deserted island.
Surrounded by endless, vast waters, this uninhabited island was rich with mountains and lush, dense tropical vegetation.
Me, not even a day old—having survived life and death and lucky to be alive—arriving on this island that seemed tailor-made for me—crowned myself king here, no doubt about it!
Of course, all these life experiences were told to me by the little demon standing in front of me, who looks like a fiend straight out of hell.
It's about the same height as me, but its head is more than twice the size of mine. Its body is entirely red, except for a small patch of dark black scales on its back.
It may be small, but it's also cowardly;
It's kind of scary, but it's also really ugly;
It's always kept me company, but it's utterly shameless;
It's never left my side, but it's truly despicable;
It takes care of food and drink, but it's downright sleazy;
It's raised me for three years, but it's just plain (mean)!
And no, I'm not making any of this up—this is what I've concluded over three years, 365 days and nights each.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention—this little demon was summoned by me…
Let me think…how did it happen again?
When I first landed on the island, I was starving.
The couple had only half-fed me, and it had already been three hours since then… Babies need to be fed every two hours, and they need to be fed well.
But from the time I was sold off by the couple to the pirates' ship sinking, it took less than half an hour.
And then I drifted on the open sea for another two and a half hours…
How do I know? It told me later.
Where was I?
Ah, right—I was starving. What could I do? I was too small to even turn over, let alone find food.
So, all I could do was cry loudly… And that's when it showed up… I still have no idea what triggered the summoning.
But once it came out, it could never go back!
This weird thing, as soon as it appeared, without a word, clamped its hand tightly over my crying mouth and nervously looked around like a thief.
It almost smothered me to death! When I asked it about it later, it said it was afraid my crying would attract too many monsters.
After all, it had just been summoned—weak as hell.
The funniest part? It told me that right after it was summoned, a monster suddenly jumped out and took a bite out of its butt.
Talk about instant karma.
I couldn't help but wonder—what was the point of summoning this thing, then?
It wasn't until later that it fully explained what happened that day…
So, my crying attracted a few weak, rabbit-like monsters.
How to describe them?
…Well, they looked pretty much like it—ugly and abstract.
Since we were outnumbered, we had no choice but to run… Otherwise, we definitely wouldn't have fled.
Now, let's talk about this "escape."
Oh man…
It was brutal… Instead of holding me properly,
this thing carried me on its back!
Basically using me as a human shield! It ran for its life, with the rabbits chasing close behind… I became its shield, and those ugly creatures took turns biting me—left, right, all over, way too "intimately."
And this idiot kept choosing the roughest paths to escape—one pit after another, two pits followed by a ditch—jolting me around miserably. Doesn't it know you shouldn't shake a baby's head? My fontanelle hadn't even closed yet!
I don't even want to blame it, but we ended up in a dead end, stuck tightly in a narrow mountain crevice!!
Its head is pretty big, right? Well, thanks to its oversized head, we were trapped—couldn't move forward or backward.
Luckily, the crevice was deep enough, and only one of those ugly rabbits could squeeze in at a time… And since I was on its back…
Guess what? I became an all-you-can-eat buffet for the rabbits!
If I died, this thing would disappear too, so it was panicking.
But out of all the places it could've run, all the caves it could've hid in, it chose this crevice… Can you understand that? I sure couldn't—because… I was still being chewed on by monsters.
You're wondering how I'm still alive?
I'm a transmigrator—
Well,
I'm not 100% sure,
but that's my guess these past couple of days.
So, just as I was being eaten alive and probably about to kick the bucket, guess what happened?
What? You think I unlocked a "system"?
Nope, no system for me—I didn't even have half my butt left…
I was so mad—and hungry, too—so I bit this thing's neck and started sucking its blood.
How did it taste?
That's a tough question to answer, especially since the "donor" is right here. I'd better not say too much.
Oh, you want me to get back to the "system" thing.
Fine, fine!
No need to guess—I'll tell you…
Turns out, this thing leveled up! How absurd is that?
It told me that after leveling up, it gained a "passive skill"—a group healing ability that slowly restores health and stamina, without even consuming MP.
Talk about a godsend! It dozed off while carrying me, I sucked its blood until I fell asleep, and the rabbits behind us eventually got tired of chewing…
The three of us coexisted peacefully for three days, like some kind of perpetual motion machine.
How do I know it was three days?
…Sometimes, I feel like you ask too many questions. Let's just say it told me! All of it!
What are you staring at, you little freak?!
Why that confused look? Did I get something wrong?
What happened after three days?
After three days, it was finally my turn!
"The system"?… Are you obsessed with the "system" or something?
A status panel suddenly appeared before my eyes… No time to explain now—I'll make a "chart" later.
All I saw was a panel pop up: "Absolute Defense +1"!
After all that suffering, something finally worked out… How nice!