After separating from Ayane, I urgently climbed a building and started looking for a random person. I need to test something and it can't be later, I need to confirm it while the feelings are still fresh.
I spend some time and find a man standing and messing with his phone, he seems to be waiting for something. I take a deep breath and lie down on the building's rooftop, adjusting the sniper rifle. I need to test this right now.
I adjust the sight for a headshot, it would be an instant kill for a normal person, and down there is just a common man, I don't know who he is, I've never seen him in my life, and so in theory he is an "innocent man" who has done nothing wrong.
"..." The prospect of shooting him mentally doesn't cause me anything, I don't feel anything when thinking about killing him, it's simply like when someone looks at an insect and just steps on it, there's nothing special or scary about it.
It's not like I compare people to insects, I just don't feel anything for them and their lives, but I notice a reaction to the prospect of killing an "innocent man" is strange.
I take a deep breath, preparing to pull the trigger and making sure he will die from the shot.
Bang
I shoot to confirm what I was thinking, the shot passes at extreme speed, only grazing the man's cheek, who gets scared and falls to the ground, looking around and soon starting to run, seeking shelter.
"..." I tried to kill him, it was a precise headshot, aiming the weapon wasn't difficult, preparing everything to end his life was easy, and when it came to pulling the trigger, I didn't feel anything either.
And even when I fired, I didn't feel anything, but the moment I pressed the trigger, my hands moved the gun, making the shot miss by inches.
I look at my hands, they have a strange tremor, which is strange for me, I literally don't feel anything about it, but my hands are trembling and my heart is racing.
"Hihihihi Setsuna, it seems you missed" Hexael appears by my side, looking at the small hole in the ground down there where I shot, while laughing sadistically.
"You were just testing, weren't you? You were just trying to confirm that I wasn't right, but you failed miserably, and just as I said, you're afraid of being bad."
"You know why? Because for you, good and evil is what your sister defines as good and bad, and that's exactly why you're not afraid of monsters and don't hesitate to kill them."
"Because for your sister, monsters are evil beings, you feel the desire to kill those who have wronged your sister, precisely because they are evil, but when a complete innocent is in front of you, your body hesitates to take his life."
"You may not feel anything about it, but deep down you know and are afraid of doing evil, which I find very funny," Hexael speaks maliciously to me.
"You know, to many you would be a terrifying enemy for being unpredictable in your way of acting, but to me you are ridiculously predictable because all your decisions are limited to one thing: your sister."
'...'
"That's why you said I could manipulate others to do bad things...because you knew I could never get to the point of actually killing an innocent person..." I say to him, now understanding this rule.
"Hahaha, of course I knew, as I said, you are ridiculously predictable to me, I know every step and every thought that goes through your head when it involves your sister."
'Tsk...' Hexael seems unfortunately to know more about myself than I do, which is ironic, normally people will never know more about a person than the person knows about themselves.
"Okay, you were absolutely right," I say, sitting down and looking at the sky. I can't deny what Hexael said about me being afraid when my body refused to kill an innocent.
'So I can kill people who are criminals of some kind...but I can't kill innocents...so the day I'm really able to kill an innocent means I'm being corrupted by Hexael to too high levels.'
"Hexael, if you even planned this...how long do you think it will take for me to fall into your stupid traps?" I ask without much interest in the answer.
"I don't know, I don't control destiny, things I don't know can happen at any time, and besides, you have your dear sister to try to keep you on the right side," Hexael speaks honestly.
"Setsuna, what did you think of your first experience on a team?" Hexael asks curiously, abruptly changing the subject. I decide to just go along with the change of pace in the conversation.
"...Lenore is strong, much stronger than she showed, she pretended to be average or even weak, but I think she could have killed that monster with one blow," I tell him what I think.
"Oh? And why do you think that?" Hexael probably already knows the answer.
"She didn't have a scratch, not a single drop of sweat, and she didn't even have a speck of dust on her body." For someone who made an entire floor collapse without escaping the spot, not having a single grain of dust means she was doing "extras" without anyone seeing.
"Indeed, she is strong, of course I still don't think she's anything special, in the end magical girls are quite limited by chance and the moment, and everything depends on how much their feelings are favoring them," Hexael snuggles up on my legs, looking at me as he says this.
"Hexael, I haven't used my ability at all yet, and I believe that if I die without me killing myself, it will be a permanent death...but if I die, wouldn't that be bad for you?" I question him, remembering the blow I received from the monster.
It hurt a lot and even now there is still a slight pain in my abdomen. It seems that becoming a magical girl didn't guarantee me fighting abilities, it just gave me weapon abilities.
"I know you won't say if I really die permanently, but I firmly believe it is so. My doubt is why you demand so much of me if my death would be bad for you."
"Because would I give you everything for free?" Hexael questions me as if I'm strange.
"..."
"Forget it, I'm going home to take a shower." I'm dirty with blood and the smell is not the best to have stuck to my body.
'Tomorrow I'll have to go to the bank to create an account.' It will have to be very early, since I have classes, but at night I can already buy things like a cell phone, clothes, household items and food that is not in a can.
"Of course, of course, Setsuna-chaann, rest well, I guess, but don't try to ignore what happened today, as I know you will. Think carefully about how you missed a shot that had 100% accuracy."
"Think about how one day that same man could be used to do evil against your sister," Hexael says with a malicious smile on his face as he disappears into a black mist.
"Sneaky demon..." I murmur as I start walking through the buildings. Even as he leaves, he still leaves that point open, but I won't fall for it.
Because in the first place, if that man could one day be a threat to Ayane, then literally anyone in the city also falls into that category, and I can't just exterminate everyone in the city to protect Ayane.
I've always known that Ayane can end up suffering because of "ordinary people," and the answer that would prevent this would be to isolate Ayane from any human contact, but with that, Ayane would not be happy.
In other words, I can't protect Ayane from everything while keeping her happy, I could only choose one or 100% protection or her happiness, and that's why going back in time is so important.
With this ability, I can keep her safe and happy. In case I fail to protect her, I can just go back in time and fix that mistake without making her sad.
Isolating her will never be the right answer, because I don't just want to ensure Ayane's safety, I want to ensure her happiness above all else.
'But...what if...he wasn't talking about that...' An uncertainty arises in my heart. I know that offering Ayane happiness and protection at the same time is impossible.
At some point, something will go wrong, and to prevent that, I will go back in time, and Hexael knows I will do that. What if he said that because he knows it's not as simple as just sacrificing my life once and going back in time to fix everything?
'No...I shouldn't let this demon play with my mind...he said that just to affect my decisions, what I should do is simple.'
I should not think too much about Hexael.
'I should just protect my sister, kill monsters, kill the guilty traitors responsible for part of her suffering, kill the dangerous monsters that used her as a toy, and finally find a way for both of us to get out alive when monsters attack the planet en masse.' I think of the simple and well-planned path.
Of course, executing all of this is not simple, but the path I must follow is already clear in front of me. I should not get distracted by Hexael's manipulations.