Chapter 26: The Thai God of War Kaolan
The Erina trio—Erina, Hisako, and Akanegakubo Momo—watched the flying Raian with expressions of unadulterated horror.
CRUNCH.
The sound of his body hitting the wall and the metal trash cans was sickening. Could a person really still be alive after making such a sound? His spine should have been dust.
But the next moment, the impossible happened.
They saw Raian stand up as if he had just tripped on a pebble. He dusted off his expensive white suit, leaving a gray smudge on the shoulder, cracked his neck with a loud pop, and walked back into the shop with a grin that exposed his gums.
"Weak!" Raian cackled. "You didn't even break a rib!"
Kobayashi Rindou looked at the three terrified girls clinging to each other. She sighed, shaking her head like a tired mother.
"Raian! That's the seventeenth time this month! You're going to dent the wall permanently!"
"Shut up! It's conditioning!"
Kobayashi Rindou smiled, then pulled the three girls into the warm interior of the shop.
As soon as they entered, they saw Karura and Fusui, who were already seated, leaning on their hands and smiling at the chaos.
Their faces lit up. Rindou ran over.
"Karura~ Fusui! Long time no see! I thought you were busy killing people!"
"Rindou! Long time no see!" Karura waved energetically.
"Long time no see, Rindou," Fusui added with a sly grin. "Have you been very happy spending time alone with Ren recently? We heard rumors you moved in."
"Of course! No, wait... shouldn't he be happy to have me?" Rindou paused, realizing something. "Ah! Ouch!"
Ren walked by and lightly chopped the top of her head with a menu.
"If you keep talking nonsense, I'll make you wash dishes."
"Ren! You hit my head again! I'll become stupid!"
Ren looked at these three completely out-of-sync girls—the Kure assassins and the Totsuki elite—exasperatedly. He didn't know what to say. All his words finally condensed into a sigh.
He pulled Kobayashi Rindou to her usual seat by the counter and pushed her down gently. "Sit. Behave."
He rubbed his temples. Why is my restaurant always full of lunatics?
Raian sat alone at a table in the corner, laughing maniacally. "Hahaha! You scoundrel! You finally know the consequences of attracting too many women, right! Hahahahaha! It's a harem hell!"
Ren rolled his eyes. He walked over to Raian's table.
"What do you want to eat? If you don't say, I'll give you Deep-Sea Fish Oil mixed with Rice~ And I'll force-feed you with a funnel."
Upon hearing this, everyone, including the fearless Raian, shivered. Clearly, that item sounded terrifying—a punishment dish from the past that lingered in their collective memory.
Raian stopped laughing instantly. He cleared his throat, thinking for a moment.
"Fine. Give me Brazilian Barbecue (Churrasco)—heavy on the picanha, Water Boiled Beef (Shui Zhu Niu Rou - extra spicy), a Steak Salad, a Grilled Skirt Steak, and six bowls of white rice! And keep the beer coming!"
[Akarin's Note: Brazilian Barbecue (Churrasco) involves grilling various cuts of meat, often on skewers. Picanha is the prime cut of the top sirloin cap.]
After he finished speaking, Erina and the other two, as well as Lucifer and Cerberus, were all stunned.
Six bowls of rice? Plus four meat dishes?
He ate way too much! That was enough food for a family of five.
Kobayashi Rindou and her two Kure companions, however, had completely normal expressions.
Erina whispered, leaning close to Rindou, "Kobayashi-senpai... don't you think it's strange? Is he human?"
Kobayashi Rindou was startled, then smiled and waved her hand dismissively. "You mean his appetite? It's quite normal for the Kure Clan. This is actually considered a light snack for him. He's probably just in a bad mood after being kicked out by Ren~ He needs comfort food."
Erina and the others were all stunned. A light snack?!
Then they looked at Raian's muscular physique. His veins bulged under his suit. He looked like a predator barely contained in human clothing. And his eyes... black sclera and white irises. It was somewhat unsettling.
Looking at it this way, Ren—with his normal eyes and gentlemanly demeanor—really did look more and more handsome and safe by comparison.
...
Because Kure Raian's dishes were mostly grilled or boiled meat, simple and quick to make for a skilled chef, his food was served the fastest.
Looking at the table groaning under the weight of the food, Kure Raian swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing.
Ren placed a massive tub of rice (equivalent to six bowls) in front of Kure Raian and casually said, "Do you want to add anything else? While I'm still in a good mood lately~"
Kure Raian was stunned. He looked up, surprised.
Kobayashi Rindou, Karura, and Fusui were also stunned.
Karura immediately shouted, slamming her hands on the table. "Ren! Why didn't you say you were in a good mood sooner! I want to add to my order! I want dessert!"
"Me too! Chocolate!" Fusui chimed in.
"And me~ I want seconds!" Rindou waved her hand.
Kure Raian looked at the table full of food. He was silent for a moment, calculating. Then he grinned, showing all his teeth.
"Then add one Eight-Flavor Integrated Magic Mapo Tofu!"
Ren was taken aback. He glanced at the meat-heavy table.
"Be careful of excessive protein intake... you'll get gout. Eight-Flavor Integrated Magic Mapo Tofu, right? What spice level?"
"Hell spicy! Make me regret being born!"
"That's your style. Wait for it."
Kure Raian nodded, picked up his chopsticks, glanced at the food on the table, and then picked up a piece of Charcoal-Grilled Beef Diaphragm (Haram). The slightly dripping fat and the subtle char of the meat made it look incredibly appetizing.
Kure Raian grinned. He put the meat in his mouth.
Chew.
His expression froze. The juices exploded. The smokiness filled his nose.
After that, he couldn't stop. He became a tireless eating machine.
Chomp. Swallow. Chomp. Swallow.
Kure Raian didn't eat elegantly; he ate crudely, like a starving wolf seeing food after a long winter. But strangely, no one found it repulsive; instead, seeing him eat with such gusto made them all overcome with cravings.
"Hoo~ Ugh! Ren! Ren!"
Raian suddenly started pounding his chest, his face turning purple.
"I hear you, I hear you. Why are you eating so fast? No one's going to steal it from you."
Ren walked over calmly and placed a large pitcher of ice water in front of Kure Raian.
Raian grabbed it and chugged the entire thing in one go.
"Phew! Haa..." He slammed the pitcher down. "Your cooking is delicious, kid, otherwise the old man would have come to deal with you long ago~ You cook better than our clan chefs!"
Karura and Kure Fusui both blushed at these words, embarrassed by their relative's lack of manners.
Ren rolled his eyes and walked straight back to the kitchen, as if talking to Kure Raian was a waste of precious oxygen.
Sizzle...
A sound of chili oil hitting a hot wok rang out from the kitchen.
Everyone immediately looked towards the source.
Soon, a very fragrant but extremely spicy aroma wafted out. It was pungent, filled with Sichuan peppercorns and fermented bean paste.
Kure Raian chewed on a piece of Brazilian Barbecue, but his eyes were fixed on the kitchen door, like a hungry wolf stalking its prey.
It's important to know that spicy and sour flavors are the most stimulating for salivation (even though spiciness is actually a sensation of pain, not taste).
Kure Raian was currently in this state. Combined with the savory meat juices of the Brazilian Barbecue and his own anticipation, each bite of the incredibly elastic grilled meat brought an amazing texture and aroma.
But the Mapo Tofu being prepared... it was the main event.
"Hmm? Why is everyone looking at me like that?"
Ren walked out carrying a sizzling clay pot. The tofu bubbled in a sea of red oil.
Kure Raian looked at the steaming Magic Mapo Tofu in front of him. He swallowed hard.
He picked up a spoon, and, under everyone's expectant gaze, scooped up a generous portion of tofu and minced meat.
He put it into his mouth.
Slurp.
"Ugh! Cough, cough, cough! Awesome!"
With one bite, Kure Raian's forehead and neck immediately bulged with veins. His eyes widened, and sweat beaded on his forehead instantly.
"Hot! Spicy! Numbing!"
Kure Fusui, playing with a straw in her milkshake and propping her chin with her hand, said dryly, "I told you to read more books; your vocabulary is pathetic. You only said 'awesome'~"
Kure Raian ignored her and continued eating by himself.
The eight flavors—Fresh, Lively, Tender, Crispy, Numbing, Spicy, Hot, and Fragrant—combined to constantly stimulate his taste buds. It made him feel as exhilarated as if he were surfing down a sand dune in a scorching, arid desert while fighting a tiger.
[Akarin's Note: Magic Mapo Tofu is a legendary dish from Food Wars! (Shokugeki no Soma), known for balancing eight specific flavor profiles perfectly.]
Everyone swallowed ungracefully, especially Erina. She knew Ren was amazing, but she hadn't expected to be so excited just by smelling the aroma of spicy tofu. Her God Tongue was vibrating in anticipation.
"Ren!" she called out involuntarily.
Ren didn't speak but sat aside, quietly reading his book again. For a moment, only the sound of Ren turning pages and Kure Raian slurping could be heard in the Restaurant.
Just as Erina was about to faint from hunger (and craving), Ren put down his book and returned to the kitchen.
This invigorated everyone. They sat up straighter.
When Ren came out again, he was pushing two large trolleys, both laden with plates.
"Alright. This is for Miss Nakiri and your group. This is for Karura and your group. Cerberus, Lucifer, this is your late-night snack~"
After everything was served, the entire Restaurant was instantly filled with a symphony of aromas.
Erina, completely abandoning her ladylike demeanor, immediately picked up her utensils. She reached for the Roasted Venison in front of her.
She cut a piece and put it in her mouth.
"Mmm!"
Her eyes sparkled.
"There's no gamey or musky smell from the venison at all. It's roasted, but why is the texture of the meat as soft as a top-grade soufflé cake! The subtle milky and buttery flavors are also a perfect match! They make the sauce's flavor even mellower! What kind of sauce is this? Why can't I identify any of the ingredients! It's too delicious!"
Erina spoke involuntarily as she ate, analyzing out loud, but no one listened. Everyone was immersed in their own sea of delicious food.
Ren sat calmly on the side, reading his book. Lucifer ate her ice cream, watching Ren with a slight, affectionate smile.
Just as Lucifer was lost in thought, admiring his profile, Ren suddenly put down his book.
Kure Raian also stopped eating. He wiped away the snot brought on by the spice, a slight, savage smile spreading across his slightly swollen lips.
Creak...
The front door opened very politely.
Everyone froze. Even Erina, who was almost delirious from battling her Seafood Risotto, briefly regained clarity and looked towards the door.
Under everyone's puzzled gaze, a tall, muscular man walked in.
He had dark skin, white tattoos under his eyes, and a very lazy, almost bored demeanor. He was dressed in a sharp suit.
When Akanegakubo Momo, who was happily eating her Veal Blanquette, saw him, she dropped her spoon.
She immediately shouted, eyes wide. "Kaolan Wongsawat?!"
[Akarin's Note: Kaolan Wongsawat (also spelled Gaolang) is the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World from Kengan Ashura, known as the Thai God of War.]
The man at the door was startled for a moment. He nodded politely.
"Yes."
He walked inside, his movements fluid and precise. He glanced at Kure Raian, their eyes locking for a second of mutual recognition.
Then he turned to Ren, who was sitting with his head propped up on a chair.
Kaolan lazily said, his voice deep and calm, "I'm here."
Ren nodded. He stood up, stretching his arms.
"Since you're here, does that mean it's time to fight? Find a seat yourself~"
"Yeah. This will do."
Kaolan found a table next to Kure Raian. He sat down, took off his suit jacket, revealing a white shirt that struggled to contain his muscles. He twisted his neck.
Crack.
"Can I order now?"
"Anytime~"
The two spoke very casually, as if they were old friends meeting at a local diner, not a legendary chef and the heavyweight champion of the world.
Akanegakubo Momo immediately tugged at Kobayashi Rindou, who was wiping sweat and eating her spicy Sichuan set meal nearby.
"What's wrong? Phew! So spicy, so spicy! Ren! Get me a glass of juice!" Rindou fanned her tongue.
Akanegakubo Momo said with shining eyes, whispering frantically, "Rindou-senpai! It's Kaolan! The Thai God of War, Kaolan Wongsawat! The Boxer!"
Kobayashi Rindou glanced over, unfazed. "I know. I've been here many times. Everyone's pretty familiar. He comes here for the curry."
She waved her chopsticks. "Hey! Kaolan!"
Kaolan turned his head slowly. "Kobayashi Rindou? What is it?"
"Ren is in a good mood today! You know what I mean! Ask for the special!"
"Oh?" Kaolan's bored eyes lit up slightly.
Akanegakubo Momo was stunned. Good heavens, she thought. Was this a gathering place for important figures?! First the Kure Clan, now the Heavyweight Champion? Who else is coming? The Prime Minister?
[Akarin Note:
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