Lily POV:
After I grabbed two pairs of chopsticks, I hurried up the stairs. I've kept my brother waiting long enough—he's probably starving by now. I could already imagine him yelling at me for taking so long, but I'd just gaslight him into thinking that he was being too impatient. A mischievous smirk crept up my face just thinking about it.
I'm so excited!
I skipped along the hallway but stopped short at my doorway.
What… is he doing?
I squinted my eyes, making sure that I wasn't imagining things. No matter how long I stared, nothing changed. My Brother was just… lying motionless on the floor.
He always had his weird moments, but he was never the type to overlook changes in his surroundings. He hated being taken by surprise—especially by people.
So, for him not to notice me there was… unusual, to say the least.
I tried stepping into the room, but came to an abrupt stop. No—it isn't that I stopped. My legs were frozen in place. Unable to take even a single step.
Even from the doorway, the atmosphere in the room made my whole body shudder.
Is this supposed to be some sort of prank?
I tensed my body, bracing myself, and forced a hesitant step forward. The moment I did, everything went completely still. It was like moving through an empty void—easy to move in, but cold and infinite.
I slowly moved towards my Brother until I was standing right beside him. Even then, he failed to notice me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words refused to come out. I gripped my throat in an attempt to push out the words.
Why? Why can't I talk to my brother? What's happening?
I tried for a little longer, but to no avail. Agh, screw this! Giving up, I crouched down and carefully reached my arm out to him. If I couldn't say something, then I'd touch him instead.
My Brother told me this morning that he didn't believe in words and would let his actions do the talking instead. So, I was hoping to accomplish the same thing.
Before my hand could reach him, his body suddenly twitched, and he shot away from me. My hand was left outstretched, unable to ever reach him.
He glared at the person who disturbed him with dark, unfocused eyes. I couldn't help but flinch under his gaze and stumbled back a step.
Wh-why… is he looking at me like that?
His face struck a fear in me that was different from my Mother and Father—but also… familiarity.
My Brother blinked a few times, his eyes gradually widening. In the span of half a heartbeat, his face shifted—from something contorted and unreadable into the same smile he always had.
"Geez, didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?"
Even as he spoke, I couldn't bring myself to say anything back. Everything was just happening too fast.
Why did he look at me like that? How did he change so fast?
Before I could think of anything else, my Brother stepped closer and playfully waved his hand in my face.
"Helloooo– earth to Lily. It looks like you've just seen a ghost."
It sounded perfectly normal. Heck, it was perfectly normal. And yet… it felt all the more alien.
Wh-who… are–
He tilted his head, blinking at me.
"Hey, how long are you gonna ignore me? Well, I'm starving, hope you don't mind if I help myself."
My Brother snatched a pair of chopsticks I was holding in my hand and sat down on the floor. He opened a box of salmon sashimi and began eating like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
I stood there frozen in place, mindlessly watching him. The only sound that could be heard in the room was the sound of him eating the sushi. I watched as he picked up a piece and leaned towards me.
"Here," he said, holding it out to me.
"If you don't eat, I'll eat it all. So hurry up and open your mouth."
My body twitched at his uncanny casualness. My Brother would never feed me, even if I asked. What is happening?
My lips began to tremble.
"Wh-what are you–"
Before I could finish my sentence, the taste of fish filled my mouth. Erasing every thought I had been carrying along with it.
"The food's getting cold. I didn't waste all this money on you for nothing. Hurry up."
He leaned away from me and began eating in silence. My lips opened and closed as my mind scrambled to say something—anything.
No– I should know there's no point in asking…
I let out a deep sigh and sat down across from him.
I opened a box of avocado rolls and grabbed one roll after another. No matter how much I ate, I couldn't taste anything.
Just like the rolls in the box, my thoughts were scattered all over the place. I grabbed a roll that sat at the direct center of the box. What bothered me most, however, was my Brother's face.
It should have been the first time I've seen it… Yet it was all too familiar to me. Almost like I've seen parts of it before.
I recalled how I felt when I saw it. I was afraid, but I wasn't only afraid. I was sad, I was sympathetic, and I was isolated. How could there be so many things in just one expression?
I glanced up at him again while chewing my food. My Brother was simply eating his food with his usual indifferent expression. He looked up at me, and our eyes met.
"What are you looking at? Can't even let me enjoy my meal in peace?" he said while chewing his food.
"Ha- haha… You got me…"
I hurriedly broke eye contact with him and stared at the ground. My hair fell from the top of my head, covering his figure from my peripheral vision.
Maybe… I just imagined it?
There were no other signs that he had felt or done anything else. Right now, my Brother was just being… himself. I brought another piece into my mouth and bit into it tightly. My teeth ached, but my mouth didn't let go.
I don't get it at all…
How could someone change so fast? It's impossible. It was more likely to believe I was just seeing things that weren't really there. Even so, the sense of unease never went away. It bothered me to no end.
I brought my chopsticks down to get another roll, but nothing came up. Surprised, I glanced at the floor. All the containers were empty. I didn't get to enjoy a single one.
I heard a slight rustle in front of me. My head shot up, and I saw that my Brother had gotten off the ground. He bent over, picked up all the empty containers off the floor, and placed them into the plastic bag.
"Well, I'm gonna throw this all out, then go to sleep. Night Lily"
For some reason, my heart tightened when he said that.
"W-wait–"
A sudden weight crashed against my chest, cutting me off. My Brother turned his back towards me and headed to the door. He… didn't hear me…
There was still so much I didn't understand. One thing I did know, however, was that if he were to leave now—my Brother would never come back to me.
Tears began to well up in my eyes.
No… I don't want him to go! Not after everything he did for me today!
I stretched a trembling hand towards him for the second time today. I barely managed to graze the back of his jacket before he stepped out of range once again. My eyes widened in a sad realization.
I– I can't make it to my Brother…
I clutched my chest in a desperate attempt to force out anything from my heavy chest.
"N-no…"
Those words came out in a quiet wheeze, yet I hoped that they'd reach him. Those hopes were shattered the instant he took another step forward.
Actions speak louder than words, and yet both my words and actions don't carry any weight to him.
I dug my nails into my palms. No! I can't let it end like this!
I clenched my teeth, tears streaming down my face.
As a last-ditch effort, I scrambled off the floor and dashed towards him. But before I could even take that first step, the door shut in my face. The loud slam rang in my ears. My body became limp as the sound reverberated through me.
I simply stood there, looking at the door with a blank expression as the tears that had once streaked my face froze solid.
D-did I just… lose my Brother…?
At that moment, it felt like my heart had just been gouged out of my chest. I clutched my chest even tighter; the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. Nothing my Father ever did hurt as much as this did.
All alone in my room, I fell to the ground and cried silent sobs.
No… how could this happen?
I just got my Brother back after all this time.
I was finally happy again.
He gave me the courage I needed to keep trying.
…And what did I do?
I couldn't do anything for him when something was wrong.
I'm… a failure as his sister.
I clenched my fists tightly together. My nails dug deep into my skin, clearing my mind.
Pain that had once plagued my chest ignited into a fire.
No… There is something I can do.
I brought a hand to my face and wiped the tears away on my own. I took a moment to steady my breathing and relax my trembling body.
Once I calmed myself, I looked at the door once more with dried-up tears.
I… can't help him as he did for me. I am nowhere near as dependable as my Brother. So, I will lie. I will play the fool if that's what it takes. I will do anything I need to. I just… can't let him disappear again. I will not allow his memory to be fleeting as well.
I rose from the ground, and slowly made my way towards the door. I reached out to the doorknob and firmly curled my fingers around it. With a smile on my face, I opened it and headed to his room.