"You're useless.Disgusting.Trash."
Those are the words that have stuck in my ears for a long time. As if all the bad things in the world cling to this small, thin body. My name is Yohanes Andhikari, a student most people look down on.
This morning, as usual, I got ready for school.For some people, school is a fun place. For me, it's hell.
"Hey, Yohanes!" a voice called from behind.I turned. Arka Cendric — the only person who says my name without sneering.
"Are you pretending not to hear?" he said while half-running."Isn't it too early to bother me, Ka?" I answered, lazy."You're really annoying!" He matched my pace.
We both sit in the top high school in this area, a school people call prestigious. But behind its neat paint hides every kind of teenage cruelty.
There is no peace here, no room to breathe, not even space to move like a normal person. My chest always feels tight, never really relaxed. My eyes can't focus, my body trembles not from the cold but from the fear that follows me.
I know the moment I step into the school yard those stares will pierce me.Disgusted looks. Condescending looks.As if I'm just a dirty stain among them.
And sure enough, just a few steps down the corridor, the whispers start."There he is, the poor kid…""Haha, look at his shoes. Still the same ones.""Trash, really."
I lower my head and try to block my ears, but the voices stick like poison. Arka pats my shoulder to distract me, but even he can't stop it all.
Days like this feel long. And somehow, I always feel… maybe I shouldn't be here.
The First Day of Hell
Crash!The classroom door slammed open. Every head turned reflexively.
"Hey, loser!" a deep voice pierced the room.
It was Davka Danindra. A child of officials, ruler of the school, and the source of all my problems. He's broad-shouldered, always neat in uniform, but his eyes carry a cutting arrogance. Behind him, some loyal followers snickered like hyenas waiting for prey.
"Where's your money? Don't make me more disgusted looking at that worn face of yours."
I gripped the desk, holding the tremor in my hands. "I… don't have much, Dav," I answered quietly, trying to keep my voice steady.
Smack!His slap landed on my cheek. Heat spread, more painful than before. A few students snickered; others looked away pretending not to see.
I pulled out some crumpled bills from my pocket and handed them over with shaking hands.
He looked at them with contempt, then snorted. "This much? Not even enough to pay for my parking."
Without hesitation, he shoved me hard. I hit the floor; my knee slammed into the tile. There was pain, but what hurt more was their faces—eyes laughing, eyes that let it happen.
"Next time, loser… bring more." Davka tossed the money at my face before turning away.
The bell rang. The teacher came in.Davka smiled lightly, as if nothing had happened. He returned to his seat, confident.
For now, he stopped.
Class time became the only break from his harassment. Though Davka still tried to bother me in small ways—throwing paper, bumping my chair, or mocking loudly—at least I could breathe a little.
But I knew one thing.As long as Davka is at this school, there will never be a truly safe day for me.
Friends and Wounds
During lunch break, I sat quietly in a corner of the cafeteria. The loud laughter of other students was just a distant hum in my ears.
Arka hurried over, holding two filled bread rolls from the stand. He put them on my table without asking."You have to eat, Han. If you keep this up, you'll faint in class."
I shrugged and looked down. "Better to faint than to be a joke forever."
Arka fell silent for a moment, staring at my face that probably still burned from Davka's slap. "We have to find a way to make Davka stop."
I managed a bitter, sad smile. "Ka… at this school, the weak can only stay quiet. Everyone knows that."
He clenched his teeth, clearly holding back anger. But we both knew Davka wasn't just a bad student. He had a name, power. Even teachers often turned a blind eye.
"This school is blind to what he does," I said softly, my voice almost lost in the cafeteria noise.
Arka patted my shoulder gently and whispered, "Come on. Let's go to our usual place."
I followed. We left the cafeteria and walked down the back hallway by the auditorium that was empty. The paint was peeling, a damp smell hit my nose. At the end of the hallway was a rusty metal door—a storage room no one used.
When the door closed, silence wrapped around us. It was just the two of us, some broken benches, and the dim light from a small high window.
Here, in this cramped, stuffy room, I could breathe.Here, we—me, Arka, and a few others who were often mocked—hid from the noisy world.
This place is not paradise, but it is safe enough for unseen wounds.
A Strange Encounter
After another long day that felt like hell, I hurried out of school. My steps were quick, as if the building itself might swallow me alive if I stayed a moment longer.
The afternoon heat stuck to my skin. Sweat mixed with tiredness made my body feel heavier. I walked toward a familiar place: Uncle Burhan's corner shop. It was small and dusty, but at least safe.
"Han, stack these rice sacks, okay," Uncle Burhan said shortly as I went in.I nodded and worked without much talk. The shop's smell—a mix of cooking oil, detergent, and aging wood—somehow calmed me. Here, I wasn't an easy target.
I helped for over an hour until the shop got quiet. When the sun began to set, I said goodbye. "Thanks, Uncle."Uncle Burhan waved, busy counting money in the drawer.
Outside, my steps froze.At the end of the street stood a girl.
She stood still. Her long black hair was blown by the evening wind. Her school uniform looked neat, almost too neat for a student walking home. Her eyes… they were looking at me. A look that didn't just see me but seemed to study me.
There was a long pause. The air felt heavy. I forced my voice, hoarse from tiredness."I haven't seen you around here."
She didn't answer immediately. She turned slowly, as if deciding whether I was worth a reply. Her lips finally opened."I just moved here."
Her voice was flat, almost without tone. No smile, no friendliness.
I waited for more, but she turned and walked away, never looking back.
I stood there, watching her figure grow smaller in the orange light. Something felt strange. Maybe it was her piercing stare, the short way she spoke, or how she didn't seem to care.
A discomfort crawled in my chest."Who is she, really…?" I whispered.
I hoped I wouldn't meet her again. Today was already hard enough. I just wanted to go home, sleep, and forget. But deep inside, there was a small whisper I couldn't ignore.
This meeting was too strange to end like that.And I knew… it wasn't the last.