*crack*
Did he just…scream? No, that can't be.
Out of all the people who've watched over me as a kid, he's the only one who's rarely ever yelled at me. Even when I did something wrong, he'd usually just laugh it off.
*crack*
N-no way, I must've imagined it!
*crack*
But when I saw the look on his face, all the memories I had with Uncle Su dispersed.
*shatter*
My breaths suddenly began to feel shallow. The kind smile he always showed me was now replaced with a dark scowl. The soft glint in his eyes flared into a fiery gaze. I almost couldn't even believe it was the same person.
He isn't Uncle Su anymore… but their Father.
Uncle's gaze swept across the room until his eyes landed on Hoshino, who was holding his pants abnormally. Uncle's eyebrow twitched, and he began aggressively stomping towards Hoshino. With each step he took, the ground shook from beneath me.
Their Father grabbed at his pants, causing Hoshino to lose his balance and stumble to the ground.
Their Father studied his fingers, tentatively rubbing them together. He brought them close to his nose, then became as still as a rock. Yet, a dark frown further creased his face.
"Hoshino… did you pee yourself again?" he said in a low tone.
Hoshino looked up at his father with eyes that I couldn't even believe a four-year-old could possess. His eyes trembled— yet he never looked away. It was the glint of courage.
His Father let out a hoarse snicker and shook his head.
"Who… do you think you are?"
He bared into Hoshino with beady red eyes, but Hoshino stood his ground. His Father scoffed.
"Fine. If you want to be like that, then…"
His hand shot towards Hoshino. Hoshino flinched back, but his Father grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and lifted him in the air.
"Ah!"
Hoshino let out a pained groan. He grabbed his Father's hand with both his own in a futile attempt at resistance.
"Not only do you piss on the floor… but you also have the audacity to look at me like that. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
Hoshino flailed his airborne legs, kicking his Father in the shin— but his grip never weakened.
Throughout this whole thing, I was forced to sit and watch.
Is- is this m-my fault? I-is it because I ratted the kids out to u-uncle?
I bit my lips so hard until the scent of iron pecked my tongue.
The hell am I doin? I have to take responsibility for what I've done, I owe it to these kids dammit!
That's what I told myself, but my body never responded. The way Uncle looked, the way he punished his kids, it wasn't like the Uncle I knew and loved all my life. For the first time, Uncle Su made me… scared.
W-Well, who am I to tell a parent how to raise their kids? Would Uncle even listen to me?
I shouldn't step into another family's problems, no matter how much I want to…
*snap*
I dug my fist into my thigh, a wave of pain searing my mind. Did I just… try to make an excuse?
My vision began to blur, and I covered my mouth.
Holy shit, I'm terrible… trying to make excuses for myself. What a joke.
A loud crashing sound snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned to the side and saw Hoshino lying limply on a toy house. The blood drained from my face. I couldn't help but let out a shallow chuckle.
"YOU'RE 4 YEARS OLD ALREADY! BUT YOU STILL CAN'T EVEN USE THE TOILET?! YOU'RE A GODDAMN FAILURE! YOU BRING SHAME TO THIS ENTIRE FAMILY!"
I could vividly make out Hoshino's Father's distorted breaths. An invisible force began pressing against my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
He took slow steps until he loomed over Hoshino and crouched down. From the corner of my eye, I saw his hand flinch.
You've gotta be kidding me! He isn't done yet?!
Was he going to keep hitting Hoshino until this "lesson" was ingrained into him?
I… can't let this happen!
I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. My heart was beating uncontrollably at the thought of what I was about to do next, but Hoshino's already put up with so much.
As his older cousin… I have to protect him! It's time to step up, Julie!
I mustered up all the courage I had— and pushed the words out of my chest.
"U-Uncle Su!"
He whipped his head towards me, his eyes burning with madness. The words clung to my throat under the pressure of that gaze.
It's now or goddamn never!
I looked Uncle straight in the eyes. Sweat rolled down my back, my pulse raced, and fear gripped my heart.
"I-I think Hoshino has learned his lesson. I'll talk to him, so you can just relax." I said, trying to sound as polite as possible.
His body convulsed, the rage travelling through him and converging in his throat.
"You-"
Before he could finish, I interrupted him with a forced sigh.
"Jeez, you can trust me a bit, Unc. I'm almost an adult, y'know. You're the one who wanted me to babysit them anyway."
He stammered over his words before he finally managed to squeeze out, "But-"
Suddenly, Auntie Nana walked into the room. Their Father— no, Uncle Su, froze. Her gaze swept through the room until it landed on Uncle Su. A deep shadow descended onto her face. I was used to seeing Auntie mad. I wasn't used to seeing Uncle afraid.
"Su… how many times have I warned you? You have done enough. Go rest for the day."
Her voice carried a weight that Uncles never did.
Auntie turned from Uncle to me and looked at me with a warm smile. Yet, a shiver ran through my spine.
"Sorry about this, Julie, but can I ask you to take care of the kids?" She said with nothing but patience. Even so, I couldn't help but give a hurried reply.
"Y-yeah, I can do that."
She gave me a gentle nod, then turned her attention towards Uncle once more.
"Honey… why don't we talk about this in the living room over a nice meal?"
Auntie grabbed him by the wrist and walked him out of the room. The moment she left, I immediately went to tend to the kids.
First, I went to check on Hoshino. Before I could even move, he rose from the toy house on his own. Not even a single tear stained his cheeks. He stumbled a little bit, so I took his hand and helped him up.
"Hey, are you okay?"
It was a stupid question to ask; obviously, he wasn't okay. But I just didn't know what else to say.
He nodded his head once in response. A hollow smile formed on my face. To think that the once lively little cousin I was playing with just a second ago was now bearing into me with empty eyes.
Gods, what have I done…
I gently pulled him in and embraced him in a tight hug.
"Hey… no matter what happens, if you need me, I'll always be there for you, okay?"
He said nothing back, and neither did I. I gave him a light peck on the cheek. When I did, he finally responded— giving me a slow, absent-minded nod. It was all he could muster, and that was okay.
***
My body shot up from the driver's seat. Wh-where am I?! I frantically reached out to the steering wheel, my eyes darting around the car. The cold feel of the leather dragged me back to reality.
"Haaaah."
That's what we call a blast from the damn past right there.
A self-deprecating chuckle echoed in the empty car.
Things really have changed since then.
Looking back on things now, everything makes sense. Lily had that look of fear because she knew the consequences of peeing on the floor. And Hoshino, being the smart kid he was, made himself the sacrificial lamb to protect his sister.
This is why I always tease you, damn kid.
Ever since that day, he has gained a lot of my respect. I know that I won't have to worry about Lily's safety as long as she has him around. Even if he has grown distant over the last couple of years, I know he will still always protect her.
A bitter smile found itself on my face.
All that damned "saving", but who is "saving" you, kid?