Sameera's POV :
The moment he stepped away from me, the room turned cold. A second ago, I had been surrounded by him. His warmth had been everywhere—his hands, his breath, his presence wrapping around me until I couldn't tell where my thoughts ended. And then suddenly there was nothing. Just empty space between us.
A shiver ran through my body because of the sudden distance. A moment ago everything had felt right. I had finally stopped running and admitted what I had been trying to deny for months.
I want you.
The words had barely left my mouth when he asked the question. The one question I had spent years avoiding. The one memory I kept burying every time it tried to surface.
"Then why did you leave me?"
My throat closed instantly. Tears burned behind my eyes before I could stop them. I opened my mouth to answer him but nothing came out. Not because I didn't want to tell him. Because I didn't know where to begin.
"Saharsh..." My voice cracked so badly it barely sounded like me.
His jaw tightened. The hurt in his eyes became even more visible and somehow that hurt more than if he had yelled.
"Answer me, Sameera."
His voice was quiet. There was no anger in it anymore but only pain. The kind that had been sitting inside him for so long that it had become part of him. I lowered my gaze immediately because I couldn't bear looking at him. Couldn't bear seeing what I had done to him.
Then I heard his footsteps. Each one making my heart pound harder. When I looked up, he was standing directly in front of me again. Close enough that I could see the tension in his face.
"Answer me."
This time his voice sounded rough. I realized there was nowhere left to run. Not from him or from the truth. I took a shaky breath and wiped at my tears, but they kept falling anyway.
"Because I was scared." The words finally left me.
For a second he just stared. Then he laughed. A short, bitter laugh that held absolutely no humor. "Scared?" he repeated. His eyes searched mine as if he couldn't understand what he was hearing. "Scared of what, Sameera?"
"Everything." My voice shook. "I was scared of everything." His expression shifted slightly. The frustration remained, but confusion appeared beside it. I swallowed hard and forced myself to continue. "The moment you came into my life, I was scared. Not because of you. Because I had never been that happy before." I laughed weakly through my tears. "I was scared of how much I needed you. Scared of how much space you occupied in my life without even trying. Every time I fell apart, you were there. Every panic attack, breakdown, horrible day. Somehow you always found a way to hold me together when I couldn't do it myself."
His jaw clenched visibly. I could see him trying to look away. Trying not to hear it. But I couldn't stop now.
"Every time watching you choose me, carry things that were never yours to carry broke my heart. All I could think about was how unfair it was."
"Sameera..."
"No." I shook my head immediately. "Please let me finish. I was terrified of losing you. Then I became terrified of what would happen when my parents found out about us. And they did." His eyes sharpened instantly. "They started talking about marriage."
The shock on his face was immediate. I looked away. Unable to watch his reaction.
"Marriage was the one thing I was always terrified of. It felt like my entire future was being decided for me. Every day I felt more trapped. More suffocated." My chest tightened painfully as the memories came rushing back. "I wanted to tell you everything. I swear I did. I wanted to tell you what was happening. I wanted to tell you how scared I was."
A tear slipped down my cheek.
"But then I saw you. Lying unconscious in your apartment." The memory hit me so hard I almost couldn't continue. "And all I could think was that it was because of me."
His eyes closed. Briefly. As if that memory still hurt. "As soon as I saw you, something broke inside me. I kept thinking that I was the reason you were suffering. That I had become another burden in your life. Another thing hurting you."
My voice cracked completely.
"It tore me apart, Saharsh. I never wanted to be the reason of your pain."
His hands clenched at his sides.
My eyes met his. For several seconds neither of us spoke.
"I decided to become better. I wanted to figure out who I was without fear controlling every decision I made. I wanted to stand on my own feet before I leaned on someone else."
Saharsh stared at me for a long time. Long enough that my heart started breaking all over again. Then he looked away and dragged both hands through his hair. His chest rose and fell heavily. I stood there frozen, my tears still falling, my chest hurting from everything I had finally forced myself to say out loud. His face had become impossible to read. The anger that had been there before wasn't as visible anymore, but neither was the softness. He laughed softly and shook his head before turning back toward me. When he finally spoke, his voice came out rough.
"So you're saying you left because you were scared of hurting me." His eyes locked onto mine. "Scared of seeing me in pain. Scared enough that you decided what was best for both of us."
"Saharsh—"
"No. This still doesn't explain the part that matters. We could have talked. Fought. Handled things differently."
He took a slow step toward me.
My breath caught.
"Do you really think I would've left you alone to deal with all of that?"
Another step.
"We could have faced all of it together, Sameera. Maybe we would've failed but at least we would've been together."
The tears blurred my vision. Every word he was saying was true. And the worst part was that I had never thought about it from his side. Not really. I had been so focused on protecting him from my chaos that I never stopped to think how much it would hurt him to be shut out of it.
Then suddenly something shifted in his expression. His eyes softened just enough to make my heart ache. His hand slowly lifted. For a second I thought he was going to stop himself. Instead his palm settled gently against my cheek. The touch nearly broke me. A sob escaped my throat instantly. His thumb brushed beneath my eye, wiping away a tear.
"You keep saying you only gave me pain. And that's where you're wrong." His voice cracked. "Do you know what my happiest memories are?" I stared at him. Unable to speak. A sad smile appeared on his face. "Most of them have you in them. I was happiest when I was with you." The tears returned instantly. Not just mine but his too. "All those panic attacks you keep talking about? They didn't make me miserable. It made me happy that you trusted me enough to come to me."
A tear slipped down his cheek that he didn't even notice. His hand dropped from my face.
"But you know what hurts." The words made my stomach drop. His eyes stayed locked on mine. "That when everything got difficult you didn't come to me." He looked away for a second before forcing himself to look back at me. "You didn't trust me enough to stay."
The words came out almost broken.
"No—"
"You just decided I would be happier without you." Another tear rolled down his face. His breathing became uneven. "You never gave me the chance to prove you wrong."
"No." I grabbed his hand immediately. Holding it with both of mine. Desperately. Like it was the only thing keeping me standing. "No, Saharsh." The sob escaped before I could stop it. My tears fell onto our joined hands. "I know whatever I say doesn't justify what I did. I know I hurt you." Another sob. "I know I broke your trust. I'm sorry." I couldn't even see him properly anymore through my tears. "I'm sorry."
The words felt pathetic compared to what I'd done.
"I'm so sorry, Saharsh." My fingers tightened around his hand. Holding on. Begging silently. "I wish I could go back and do everything differently."
And for one terrifying second... I thought he was going to walk away. Then suddenly his arms wrapped around me. So hard that the breath left my lungs. A broken sound escaped my throat as I crashed against his chest. For a moment neither of us moved. Neither of us spoke as there were no words left. His arms tightened around me again as if he couldn't get close enough. I buried my face against his chest and immediately broke down. He held me through every second of it. One hand buried in my hair and the other pressed firmly against my back. Keeping me there.
Not letting me go.
And when I wrapped my arms around him just as tightly, gripping the back of his shirt like I was terrified he might disappear again, I felt him exhale shakily above me.
Like this hug was something he'd needed for years.
Neither of us wanted to let go.