Shizuo stood there, frozen. He tried to come up with a response, but the only thing he could think about were those same-old excuses: "Don't get your hopes up… I'm pathetic… I'm a loser… she doesn't mean it… she's being nice."
He tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. "No, not this time," he thought decisively. For once, he didn't want to push her away.
Ideas started going through his head. "Is sheltering myself worth it anymore? … what if I broke down right here?" But he decided to compose himself and took a seat in silence, his face bright red, and trying to decipher if this is reality or not.
He decided to face her; he softly said "If you don't mind… I could try drawing you again." Nomura tilted her head, then, with her bright red face said "T-Thanks."
So, they just stood there, neither of them daring to look at one another. Shizuo slowly reached for his bag, but suddenly, a thought popped in his head.
"What more could I lose?"
He quickly faced her. "Hey Nomura, do you mind if I walk you home? Since it's getting late and all." His body tensed up.
"That was so stupid! … Why did I do that!" But his worries vanished when Nomura replied with "If it's not a bother though."
Shizuo was surprised but managed to stay collected. "It's only right since you helped me so much today," he replied, with a genuine smile on his face.
When Nomura decided to lift her head, she saw Shizuo's usually brown eyes turning bright gold when the dusk sun hit his face. "This is the first time I've ever seen him smile like this…" "Alright then, but no backing out," she rushed to grab her bag, excitedly.
When they were leaving through the front gate, Shizuo had a huge grin plastered over his face. But underneath the surface, he could barely keep it together.
"Holy SH*T! I must be dreaming. How the hell did she say yes?" But the same could be said for Nomura.
She clutched her bag tightly, and kept stealing glances at the giddy Shizuo. "He looks like he's having fun." Nomura couldn't help but smile herself. She turned to Shizuo and awkwardly asked "Sooo, how long have you been making Chibi for?"
"Umm, I'm really not sure… It's something I do when I'm bored."
"Do you make them when you're at home or…?"
"Anywhere really, but I mostly make them during slow classes."
"Ohh cool, so how many have you made?"
"Too many to count honestly"
"That's kind of impressive," Nomura chuckled a little.
She kept walking but it felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. "What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be so good at making small talk. So why am I acting like this now?" thought Nomura. "GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER NOW!"
Her mind raced, but she couldn't come up with anything. Then her eyes snapped to his dragging feet.
"Hey!" she blurted out. "Don't do that!" "Huh? Do what?" said Shizuo confused. "Don't drag your feet like that," she said, pointing at his shoes. "Your shoes look pretty new. Do you want to finish them quickly?"
Shizuo stared at her for a second longer, before chuckling nervously. "You're right, I shouldn't do that… It's just a bad habit I've had for a very long time." "Ok then, from now on I'm going to make sure you don't drag your feet anymore," she said, with a sense of authority.
Shizuo was too stunned to make any more small talk. He just silently stared at Nomura—who now was slightly ahead of him—and just thought to himself, "No one has ever noticed that… even me, it became such a normal part of my life, I barely think about it."
But Shizuo's slow stride came to a stop and his body recoiled when he caught a glimpse of the park. His stomach sank; he felt like he was about to throw up. All the bad memories he'd been trying to suppress came rushing back…... He thought about all the time he had spent with her, all the times he had eagerly waited for her return, and her heartless goodbye during that fateful spring.
But before he could spiral again, a voice called out to him. "Shizuo!" "Are you coming or what? ... do you feel tired?"
"Ohh, no I'm fine," he mumbled, speeding up to catch up to her. "Are you OK?" she asked. "We can take a break if you want to." "No-no I just zoned out."
Then suddenly, she said, "We're here … Thank you very much for walking me home." standing Infront of a tall apartment complex. Shizuo eyed the massive building for a second.
"I should be the one thanking you for helping me look for my sketchbook." Nomura chuckled, "Are you sure you won't get lost on your way back home?" Shizuo smiled "You seriously underestimate me; I'm like a compass." "Well Mister Compass, just be careful, OK?" she said, tilting her head slightly. "Understood, Ma'am!" Nomura chuckled again, walking towards the building and waving her hand.
When she entered the building and left Shizuo's line of sight, he felt the silence pressing against him harder than expected.
The nervous smile on his face faded away. He looked sort of disappointed in himself. He put his earphones in and started making his way back home