Max staggered down the hallway, swaying like a broken shopping cart. He was extremely drunk—because he had intentionally turned off every immunity he had.
He missed the doorknob with his missing arm three times before Charlie's door opened across the hall.
"Um… Max?" Charlie blinked. "You do remember Vaggie told you to stay with us until you're healed, right?"
Max nodded so enthusiastically he nearly fell over.
"Oh yeah. I'm so… I'm so remembery."
Charlie giggled. "Yup. Definitely drunk."
She guided him gently to her and Vaggie's room, where Vaggie was lying on the bed scrolling her phone.
Vaggie looked up.
"Did he really drink that much?"
"Yeah," Charlie said, helping Max flop onto the bed. "But at least he's a goofy drunk. Better than angry! Bee's the only one who's seen him like this before."
Vaggie raised a brow.
"Is he even all there right now?"
Max beamed at them with a wobbly, blissed-out smile.
Charlie sat beside him.
"Well, let's test it. Max sweetie, can you change out of your clothes? You're still in your day outfit."
Max raised his one hand and attempted to snap.
Snap. Snap. Snap-snap-snap—each one changing his clothes in a chaotic cycle of suits, robes, pajamas, and even a ballerina outfit at one point—
until he finally landed in comfortable black silk pajamas.
Then he promptly fell sideways onto the bed like a tipped-over tree.
Charlie clapped softly.
"Good job!"
Vaggie smirked. "He's surprisingly coherent. Mi lobo feroz."
She scratched behind his ear.
Max's eyes flickered for a moment—emotion seeping through the drunken haze—before he pulled both of them into a clumsy half-hug.
"I promise… to keep you both safe," he mumbled, voice thick but serious. "Especially from Adam and his stupid little bird army…"
Charlie and Vaggie exchanged a soft look.
Even drunk, his protective instincts didn't fade.
Charlie stroked his hair.
"Actually, yeah… Weren't you immune to angel weapons when Adam attacked us in Heaven? How did you get hurt here?"
Max sighed dramatically and laid his head across both their laps.
"I'm only immune in Heaven. On their turf," he said. "Down here? I'm just like every other sinner. Squishy."
He poked his own cheek. "See? Squish."
The girls giggled.
"But I have the best girls in… the world? Or Hell? Still learning… words…" he mumbled.
Charlie rubbed his cheek.
"Aww."
"So," she continued, "what exactly can you do? Besides teleporting and using shadows."
Max raised his hand like a student answering a question.
"Um okay. Let's see… I can break stuff. Very easy. I do magic—big magic. I store things in my shadow. Regeneration. Super strength, super hearing, super smelling—sorry about that sometimes. And I can… find lost stuff?"
"Find stuff?" Vaggie asked. "Show us."
"Uh… okay. But it's random. And old stuff only."
He stared into the air. A small orb of energy formed in his palm—
—and then exploded outward into a full angelic dagger, glowing gold.
Both girls yelped.
Vaggie immediately snatched it out of his hand.
"Okay! I'm taking that."
Charlie examined it.
"Must be something an angel dropped during an extermination."
"Sorry…" Max mumbled, ears drooping. "It's supposed to pick the closest item. I think. Maybe. I dunno. Drunk."
Charlie ruffled his hair.
"It's fine, Max. You're doing great."
Vaggie giggled.
"Puppy drunk."
Charlie sat back.
"You're doing wonderfully as our fiancé. We couldn't ask for a better one."
Vaggie sighed softly.
"And… I never really apologized for being rude when we met. But in my defense, you came on very strong. Like… weirdly strong."
Max laughed into their laps.
"You two are beautiful. I'm still learning this immortality thing. I'd have been dumb as—well—Adam if I didn't shoot my shot.
And it landed. I think. I hope. Still feels unreal."
His eyes finally grew heavy.
Sleep tugged at him hard.
The girls carefully lifted him and settled him between them, sliding under the covers. Vaggie took his left side so she could hold his remaining hand.
As they snuggled in, Max mumbled one last thing, half-asleep:
"Mmm… also… call Nifty next time you have your… fun. Wolf senses… smell everything from the bed…"
Charlie and Vaggie froze.
Then their faces went bright red.
Max fell asleep instantly.
The girls stared at each other.
"…We're never living that down," Vaggie whispered.
Charlie covered her face with a pillow.