"Do men lie and deceive of their own will… or because the world forces them? Humanity, incapable of deciphering itself, dares to explore the stars and the depths of the universe. And yet, in that endless search, it forgets the essential: to understand the abyss that dwells within its own being."
I was stunned and stayed silent for a few seconds. Every second, she looked at me with such embarrassment it seemed like she was begging for my response.
I couldn't comprehend it… I felt such greatness. What she said seemed so genuine, so tender… it's incredible that someone had noticed me. It was the first time.
Incredible. Incrediiiible.
I froze. I didn't know if my heart was beating too fast or if it had stopped completely. Me, the one who had always been alone, the one who never believed in anything… was I now someone's chosen one?
That smile of hers, so fragile… She didn't say it with mockery or arrogance. She seemed capable of breaking my loneliness, it seemed like I would finally stop being alone. Maybe I could have fun with new friends… maybe the world wasn't so cruel.
Ahh… yes, that's what I thought.
But… life isn't all roses.
When I was about to respond, I said:
"I…
She interrupted me out of nowhere, but I noticed her voice had changed, as if it tore into laughter. Her lips, which had seemed miraculous before, now twisted into a laugh that touched my heart—the one hidden deep inside, protected by an indestructible shield… and yet, something seemed to break.
—You fell for it! —she shouted as the rooftop door slammed open. A group of classmates came in, phones raised, recording, laughing, enjoying themselves.
—He really believed it, he really believed it! —she kept saying, tears of laughter in her eyes.
I froze. The world stopped moving. The heavy air… crushed me. My legs trembled, but it wasn't nerves… it was absolute emptiness.
"It was a game," I thought. "It was all a game."
The clock inside me broke. Every second stretched into eternity. The echo of their laughter engraved itself in my chest, piercing me like invisible needles.
I wanted to laugh too, pretend it was just another joke. But nothing came out. I only felt a lump in my throat.
She looked at me, still smiling, and said in that voice that had seemed tender before:
—Did you really think someone like me would go out with you? How naive you are.
That phrase pierced me more than any blow. I felt my insides freeze, my heart crumble to dust.
Then I understood: love was just another lie.
And while they laughed, I fell. I fell into myself, into a hole I had created by allowing myself to hope, where there was no light or escape. A cold, familiar place, where my only companion was those words that shattered my heart.
But…
I'm used to it now. I just laughed along with them and said:
—Good joke, guys. Tag me when you upload the video. —I laughed but… but… I didn't do it right.
They replied through laughter:
—Don't say stupid things, ugh, he called us friends —while laughing and laughing.
In my mind, I only thought: What did I think? How stupid… That's why I hate people. I thought someone would accept me, or maybe I could be someone who fits into this world…
So sinister.
They said:
—Why does someone like you, so unpleasant, exist in such a beautiful world? You disgust us, you should die.
—Kneel! Apologize for being born.
And so, I knelt with the last strength I had.
And I said to them:
—Maybe you're all right… I should die…
A sound interrupted the words I was about to say, and there they came, shouting:
—What is this?
Elizabeth responded, snatching the camera from them and shouting:
—How cruel! Heartless people!
I… I… didn't know what to say, they were so angry, angrier than me.
I didn't understand, I don't understand anything. Why? Why? As my tears fell, I saw a glow… ah, yes, it was them…
Rin made everyone leave. I couldn't see how she did it. I… I just stared at the floor, wondering why I still exist.
And like magic, I felt something warm I had never felt… ah, yes, them, they hugged me. I don't understand, why can't I understand?
I felt the warmth I had never felt, and they said:
—Come on, you can cry…
I couldn't hold back anymore, I cried. Everything I had held back poured out, everything.
Ah, what warmth…