Kai Langford -November 2120
People move around me in a blur of motion and sound, voices overlapping. It's all meant to feel normal, I think. Comforting even. Familiar chaos after everything that happened.
And I do feel grateful that people have been worried about me. I notice it, faintly. That warmth underneath everything else. That they are here, that they are trying to show me that they care about me.
But it is too much.
Everyone feels too close... too loud.
As soon as Ethan lets go of my hand, something in me drops sharply, like a thread snapping. The absence of his touch leaves a hollow space I do not know how to fill, and suddenly I feel more unsteady than I did a moment ago. Almost like I cannot tell where I end and everything else begins.
It is suffocating in a way I cannot explain without sounding wrong.
So I don't.
I force a grin instead and try to respond when people speak to me, nodding when I think I am supposed to, answering in short sentences that feel like they are coming from further away than I am. My voice sounds fine, I think. At least no one reacts badly to it.
Jack is the loudest of them all, as usual, hovering too close with that restless energy of his.
He keeps insisting I train him again, gesturing wildly as he talks, while someone else immediately tells him to back off and let me rest. Their voices overlap, rising and falling, arguing and correcting each other like waves crashing in different directions.
I try to follow it... I really do. But something in my head is not catching properly.
The words begin to lose shape. Not disappearing exactly, just… melting together. Like someone is slowly turning the volume of the world up too high and too low at the same time.
My headache returns in dull pulses behind my eyes. Then sharper and dizziness follows soon after, subtle at first, then growing heavier until the room feels slightly tilted even though I know I am standing still.
Voices stop being separate voices and they become one long sound.
A single wave of noise that presses against my skull.
I blink slowly, trying to clear it, but it only makes things worse. My vision softens at the edges again, everything smudging slightly as if I am looking through water.
Then something tugs at my shirt.
I look down and Jack is standing in front of me, still talking, eyebrows drawn together in confusion as he watches me.
"Did you hear what I said?" he asks, pointing slightly as if that will help.
I pause.
Was he talking to me?
I didn't hear him.
My chest tightens faintly at that realisation, and I glance around quickly. Everyone nearby is still talking, still moving, but I can see it now. The way a few of them are watching me more than before. The way their expressions shift when I do not respond fast enough.
Concern...Again.
My stomach drops.
No. I am doing it again.
"Kai?"
Ethan's voice cuts through everything, sharper and clearer than the rest. I turn just as he reaches me, his hand slipping naturally into mine like he has done it without thinking.
The shadows near my feet tighten instinctively toward Ethan before I even realise I move closer to him myself.
That grounding warmth hits immediately, but it does not fully fix the fog in my head.
"I…" I start, then stop, because I cannot find the next part of the sentence properly.
The world still feels slightly off balance.
So I try to cover it quickly.
"I must be more hungry than I thought" I say, forcing a small smile that I hope looks normal.
Ethan does not answer straight away. His eyes stay on me for a moment longer than necessary, scanning my face in a way that makes me feel like I am being quietly read instead of looked at.
Then he nods, though it does not seem entirely convinced.
"Okay," he says gently, then turns his attention outward. "Alright, everyone, give him some space. He hasn't eaten properly in weeks."
The crowd shifts immediately, tension breaking as people begin to move back to their seats. Conversations restart slowly, like a machine warming back up.
The pressure around me eases slightly.
Ethan keeps hold of my hand as he leads me through the room toward our usual table.
The noise around me softens slightly once we are moving. People still glance at me as we pass, some smiling awkwardly, others looking relieved enough that it hurts to see, but the further away I get from the crowd, the easier it becomes to breathe again.
At least a little.
The familiar table near the corner somehow feels stranger than everything else, probably because of how normal it looks after everything that happened.
Ethan gently guides me into the seat beside him like he thinks I might collapse if he lets go for too long.
It does not take long before Finn drops into the chair on my other side. The second he sits down, he reaches over and pats me once on the back.
"Good to see you back from the dead" he says, flashing a tired half-smile.
The joke is light, but he looks exhausted.
Now that I am actually paying attention, dark circles sit heavily beneath his eyes, and his hair looks messier than usual, like he has been dragging frustrated hands through it all night.
He looks about as bad as I feel.
"What's wrong with you?" I ask.
Finn waves a dismissive hand immediately.
"Couldn't sleep. That's all."
He grabs a cup of coffee and downs half of it like it is keeping him alive through sheer spite alone.
Something about the answer does not sit right with me. Then another thought hits me.
"Actually…" I glance around the room. "Where's Noah?"
The second I say it, something uncomfortable twists in my chest. I should have noticed sooner.
Finn slowly lowers his coffee back onto the table before rubbing a hand over his face in visible frustration.
"I swear," he mutters, "you Langfords are going to be the death of me."
I narrow my eyes slightly.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Finn says flatly, pointing his coffee mug vaguely in my direction, "why do both of you insist on working yourselves half to death all the time? Do you know how exhausting that is for everyone else?"
The bluntness catches me off guard and judging from Ethan's expression beside me, it catches him off guard too.
Finn is usually calmer than this. More controlled. But now there is genuine irritation beneath his exhaustion, worn thin by stress and lack of sleep.
I glance between them both before asking again, quieter this time.
"Where is he?"
Finn sighs heavily and leans back in his chair.
"Locked himself in the lab" he says. "He's been there all night. Wouldn't come out no matter what I tried."
The second the words leave his mouth, I push myself to my feet.
I cannot just leave Noah alone in there.
Not when I know exactly how he gets when he starts spiralling into work. He will forget to eat, forget to sleep, forget he is even human if nobody drags him back out again.
And if this is because he is worried about me-
I barely take a step before both Ethan and Finn grab one of my arms each. I blink and look down at them in confusion.
"You're going nowhere" Finn says bluntly.
"Kai," Ethan says more gently, "you need food first."
I look between them both.
"I can't just leave him there."
"And I can't let you pass out halfway there because you haven't eaten properly in weeks" Ethan replies immediately.
I open my mouth to argue again, but before I can, someone suddenly appears beside the table.
Miriam places two steaming plates down in front of me and Ethan with the kind of careful attention that makes it obvious she has been listening to everything.
"Leaving so soon?" she asks warmly. "After I put all my love and care into making this for you?"
Her smile is bright enough to light the entire room. But her eyes look glossy, like she is trying very hard not to cry.
Something about that expression hits me strangely hard in my current state. My thoughts are still sluggish and foggy, and her warmth almost feels unreal, like something from a dream I am not fully awake inside of.
I glance down at the food and the smell hits me instantly.
Warm bread, with something rich and savoury underneath it all.
My stomach clenches painfully hard at the scent, suddenly reminding me just how empty it feels.
But Noah...
"Why don't you eat first," Miriam says gently, as if reading my thoughts. "And I'll prepare something for you to take to Noah afterwards."
She gives me a small wink.
That completely ruins any argument I had prepared. Because she is right... Noah will need food too.
Slowly, I nod.
I move to sit back down, but before I can, Miriam suddenly steps closer and wraps both arms tightly around me. The hug catches me so off guard that I freeze for a second. She feels warm and gentle in a way I do not really know what to do with and something in my chest tightens painfully as I slowly hug her back.
Is this what a mothers hug feels like?
The thought slips through me quietly and unexpectedly. For a second I almost melt into the embrace entirely.
When she finally pulls away, I notice tears gathered in her eyes.
"It's so good to see you again," she says softly, one hand moving up to cradle my cheek.
I do not know how to respond to that kind of warmth. Especially not with my mind still wrapped in fog. So I just stare at her silently, trying to process the strange ache building in my chest.
Miriam seems to realise words are failing me, because she simply pats my cheek affectionately before pointing toward the food.
"Now eat," she says firmly. "I won't be long."
Then she turns and disappears back toward the kitchen.
I slowly sit back down. For a moment I just poke at the food with my fork absentmindedly, but the second I actually take a bite, my stomach seems to wake up violently.
Suddenly I am starving.
The food tastes so good it almost hurts. I do not even realise how quickly I am eating until Ethan quietly starts moving some of his own food onto my plate.
"See?" he says, smiling softly as he leans against one hand. "I told you that you needed food."
I glance down at the extra food he added before looking back at him.
His smile looks tired, but relieved too. And despite everything swirling endlessly inside my head, some small part of me finally feels a little less hollow.
____________________
I don't realise how tense my body still is until Miriam returns carrying another plate.
Steam curls softly from the food balanced carefully in her hands, the smell filling the space around us before she even reaches the table. Fresh bread, roasted vegetables, something warm and rich underneath it all. She places it on a tray with a lid.
"Noah's portion," she says gently as she places it down beside me.
The second I look at it, I can already picture exactly what is going to happen.
Noah will ignore it.
He will mutter something distracted without looking up from whatever screen or experiment currently has his attention, and if nobody physically stays there long enough to force him, the food will sit untouched for hours until it goes cold.
A small sigh leaves me before I can stop it.
"I'll take it to him now" I say quietly.
Ethan immediately looks up from beside me.
"I can come with you."
Finn looks like he is about to say the same thing, but I shake my head before either of them can move.
"No," I say softly. "It's okay."
Ethan studies me carefully. I can already tell he wants to argue. Probably because I still look half dead. But this feels important in a way I cannot fully explain.
"I just…" My voice trails off for a second as I glance down at the plate before forcing myself to continue. "I want to spend some time with him."
The words settle quietly over the table and Finn's expression softens first.
Of everyone here, he probably understands my relationship with Noah the best. He had spent years watching us orbit around each other in strange complicated ways nobody else fully understands.
Finn leans back in his chair with a tired sigh.
"He's definitely going to say he isn't hungry."
"I know."
Finn points at the plate.
"Make him eat anyway."
Despite myself, a small smile pulls faintly at my mouth.
"I will."
Beside me, Ethan's hand lightly brushes against mine beneath the table.
"You sure you're okay walking there alone?" he asks quietly.
The concern in his voice makes guilt stir painfully in my chest again. I hate how worried I keep making him. But I also know that if anyone follows me right now, Noah will immediately retreat further into himself. He is easier to reach when it is just us.
"I'll be okay," I say gently.
Ethan hesitates before finally nodding.
"Alright," he says softly. "But if you start feeling sick, come straight back."
I nod.
Miriam reaches over then, smoothing a hand briefly over my shoulder in that same painfully gentle way she always does.
"Tell Noah I made extra because I know he forgets to eat," she says knowingly.
A quiet huff of amusement leaves Finn immediately.
"Forgets?" he mutters. "That implies it's accidental."
Miriam points a warning finger at him without even looking.
"Finn."
He raises both hands in surrender.
I carefully pick up the plate along with the extra drink she prepared and slowly stand from the table.
____________________________
I carry the plate through Trinity's main building, keeping one hand beneath it while the drink balances awkwardly between my fingers.
The halls are quieter than usual.
Most people are staying inside because of the cold, gathered in old class rooms or common rooms where warmth still lingers, leaving the corridors dim and calm compared to the chaos from earlier. Pale winter light filters weakly through the tall windows, casting long grey shapes across the floor instead of real sunlight.
Outside, snow begins to fall steadily across the grounds. Not heavy enough to storm, but enough to coat the world in white silence. I can see it gathering slowly along the edges of the windows as I walk.
Everything feels muted.
Still.
The shadows follow behind me quietly, stretching thin across the ground. Ever since I woke up they have felt... restless.
They seem to move more on their own, but I am still able to control them. But when I think back to that dream I had... where I had to choose between Ethan or Noah my finger begin to twitch.
My headache still lingers faintly behind my eyes, but not enough to stop me moving. Just enough to make the world feel slightly distant, like I am walking through a dream I have not fully woken from yet.
Snow crunches softly beneath my boots as I make my way across the field toward the science building. My breath fogs in front of me with every exhale, quickly vanishing into the freezing air.
The Science building waits near the edge of the field, dark glass windows reflecting the pale white sky overhead. Most of the lower labs are unlit, but one room near the far side still glows faintly through the frost-covered windows.
I push the door open and warm air mixed with the smell of coffee and machinery greets me immediately.
The lab itself is chaos.
Papers cover almost every surface alongside open files, scattered tools, glowing screens, and abandoned notes written in Noah's cramped rushed handwriting. Empty coffee cups sit clustered near one workstation like evidence of how long he has been here.
The fluorescent lights hum faintly overhead.
And there he is.
My chest tightens the second I see him.
Noah is asleep leaning against one of the tables, one arm folded beneath his head while several screens still flicker softly beside him.
I step closes and look down at him. His bruises are still there but they have faded over time. But the bandage wrapped around his hand catches my attention immediately against the wooden surface of the table.
My eyes linger there too long.
The missing finger still does not feel real.
Growing up, Noah always felt untouchable to me. Not physically stronger, but impossible to truly damage. Like his mind alone could survive anything.
But now he just looks human... Too human. And somehow that hurts more.
Quietly, I set the food and drink down beside him.
The movement barely makes any sound, but Noah shifts faintly anyway, exhaustion making him slower to react than usual.
Even now this feels strangely familiar. Noah has always had a habit of falling asleep on desks after working too long, insisting he was perfectly awake moments before passing out over books or keyboards.
A small breath leaves me quietly. He really hasn't changed.
I can feel a strange heat building in my chest as I watch Noah sleep peacefully against the table.
His messy white hair falls over his eyes, soft beneath the pale glow of the monitors surrounding him. Like this, he looks younger somehow... Smaller.
Too young for everything that has happened to him.
Noah has always been a good person. Even now.
Even after everything our father put him through, he is still kind in the quiet ways that matter. He is terrible at expressing emotions out loud, but he shows them in every action instead. In every sleepless night spent fixing problems for everyone else. Every cup of coffee handed over without asking. Every time he silently stays beside someone when they need him.
He cares too much. That has always been Noah's weakness.
My chest tightens painfully.
How could our father hurt him like that?
How could he beat him bloody and tear his finger away like it meant nothing?
The thought sends anger crashing through me so suddenly my hands shake and heat crawls beneath my skin.
At the same time, pain spikes violently through my skull. I suck in a sharp breath and grab my head, fingers digging into my hair as if pressure alone can stop the pounding behind my eyes.
The shadows around the room twitch violently.
Everything starts feeling wrong again.
Foggy.
The fluorescent lights blur slightly overhead and I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, trying to steady myself before the dizziness gets worse.
When I look back at Noah, my breath catches instantly.
His white hair is soaked with blood. Dark red spills down the side of his face, dripping slowly from strands of hair onto the table beneath him.
For a second I stop breathing entirely.
What?
He was fine a moment ago.
"Noah."
The word leaves me too quickly, almost panicked, as I immediately reach forward and grab his shoulder. The second I touch him, he jolts awake sharply.
His head snaps up, disoriented at first as his eyes dart around the room. Then they land on me and some of the tension leaves his expression instantly.
"Kai?" he says, voice rough from sleep.
But the blood is still there. Still running through his hair and panic twists hard in my chest.
I reach toward him without thinking and touch the side of his head carefully, fingers brushing through the blood-stained strands. But when I pull my hand back there's... Nothing.
No blood.
My hand is completely clean as I stare at it.
For a second my brain refuses to process what I am seeing. Slowly, I look back up at Noah again and this time the blood is gone. Only pale white hair remains beneath the laboratory lights.
Noah's brows furrow immediately as he studies my face.
"Kai," he says more carefully this time. "Are you okay?"
I open my mouth, but no answer comes out.
My headache spikes again before I can think properly, sharp enough to make me stumble back a step. I press a hand hard against my forehead as another wave of pain crashes through me.
The room tilts slightly.
Shadows ripple unnaturally across the floor near my feet.
Noah stands immediately now, exhaustion disappearing beneath concern.
"Kai?"
I blink hard and force myself to look at him again.
No blood.
No injury.
Just Noah staring at me with growing concern beneath messy white hair and bruises that are already beginning to fade.
Cold unease curls slowly through my chest.
What is happening to me?