Natasha was still laughing uncontrollably, while Leo nearly choked on air.
What the hell was this system trying to do now? Was it crazy?!
What sin did he commit to deserve this? Natasha was beautiful, yes—but also terrifying. And very experienced.
"Ahem, Destroyer System? What do you mean by this? Is there a time limit for the task?"
[Host must complete the mission within one month. Failure will result in mission termination.]
Leo's expression twitched.
To go for it or not to go for it—that was the question. Should he endure this seductive punishment or abandon the easy reward?
"This task is too dangerous," he muttered. "I'll think about it later."
As he pondered, his eyes drifted toward Natasha. He couldn't help but notice… yeah, she was definitely built differently.
Natasha noticed his wandering gaze and snapped, "What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a woman before? Look again and I'll gouge your eyes out!"
Leo crossed his arms and glared back. "Hmph! I'm not afraid of you."
Then—just to prove his point—he let his gaze fall on her chest again.
"You—!"
Natasha's chest heaved with fury, and for a moment, Leo actually worried about the stitching on her uniform.
"Alright, enough. Don't get mad," Leo said quickly, changing the subject. "I'm sure your Director—Black Egg—can hear us right now. So, tell me what you actually want."
"Motherf*cker!"
Nick Fury's voice came through the comms. "Natasha, ask him about his background and intentions. We might be able to cooperate. Whatever Tony can do, we can too."
Recruitment had always been Fury's preferred tactic. It worked on Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Spider-Man, Wanda, Quicksilver—so why not Leo?
As Fury muttered, Leo smirked. "Heh, what's he calling himself now? A turtle? Ninja Turtle?"
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Our Director Bl— Nick Fury wants to know your origin and purpose. Can we cooperate?"
She almost called him Black Egg again, but her professional instincts saved her just in time.
"It's not impossible," Leo said thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "Especially considering your face."
Natasha's lips curled. "So, my charm still works. Pervert or not, he's still a man."
Leo grinned. "Sure, I can cooperate. After all, I'm new to Earth… and there are a lot of you."
Natasha blinked. "Wait, new to Earth? You mean—you're an alien?"
Nick Fury's forehead creased instantly.
Motherf*cker. Why did every alien love Earth so much? The Skrulls. The Kree. And now this guy?
Which planet was he from this time? Fury scratched his shiny bald head in frustration.
He used to be tall, rich, and handsome—at least in the eyes of women. But ever since he joined the world's longest-named spy agency, his hair had vanished like hope on a Monday morning.
"Natasha," Fury said quickly, "ask which planet he's from, and why he came here."
Natasha rolled her eyes again. "Director Fury wants to know your home planet and purpose."
She almost laughed. Alien? This guy?
An alien with such a dirty sense of humor? Impossible.
Still, Leo's expression turned solemn as he placed a hand over his chest.
"My alien name is Ultraman Tiga," he declared. "I come from the distant M788 Nebula—a supercluster far beyond the Milky Way."
"Our civilization is at least a million years ahead of Earth's. Compared to us, the Kree and Skrulls are like children."
"Our King sent me here to protect Earth—to uphold love and justice across the universe!"
Leo paused for dramatic effect, then continued seriously.
"In a few years, alien forces will invade Earth. They're just the vanguard of the true cosmic tyrant… the Purple Sweet Potato."
"When the Universe Overlord himself descends, humanity will face extinction. My mission is to save Earth from that fate."
He spoke with such conviction that even he started to believe his own nonsense.
Natasha, however, stared at him blankly.
Ultraman Tiga? M788 Nebula? Universe Overlord? Purple Sweet Potato?
She gave him the most skeptical look imaginable.
"Liar."
Slap!
The next second, she felt a sharp smack on her butt.
"Hey! Why did you hit me?!" Natasha growled, lunging at him.
"Stop."
Leo caught her by the forehead, holding her easily at arm's length. No matter how much she kicked or clawed, her short legs couldn't reach him.
Against overwhelming strength, her deadly combat skills were useless.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the line, Nick Fury sat frozen in his chair, drenched in cold sweat.
Natasha didn't believe Leo's story—but he wasn't so sure.
He knew about the Kree and Skrulls. He knew how insignificant Earth was in the grand scheme of the cosmos.
If Leo was telling even a fraction of the truth… Earth could be doomed.
Better safe than sorry.
"Natasha," Fury ordered, his voice steady but tense, "your mission is complete. From now on, maintain a close relationship with Leo. Gain his trust."
Natasha sighed. "Yes, Director Fury."
Did he seriously believe that?
She almost felt bad for him.
Leo watched her with a small grin. Everything was unfolding exactly as he expected.
Nick Fury was a natural-born paranoid. He trusted no one—not even himself.
Not Captain America. Not the Avengers. Not a single soul.
Hell, the man probably didn't even trust his own reflection.
So, as Fury scrambled to prepare for a possible alien invasion, Leo leaned back casually, fully aware he'd just played the world's most paranoid man like a fiddle.
The best part?
Fury half-believed the Ultraman story—but only half-believed the Purple Sweet Potato invasion.
Being too smart, Leo thought, wasn't always a blessing.
Sometimes, overthinking could be fatal.