The thing is not just making them friends, it's just to eliminate the negativity that appears between us. I know they both care for me, they both are really good to me, but when everything is same then why they are not liking each other. I know it's just because of me. Sometimes I might think that what I have done but sometimes somethings didn't have answers. My habit of going with the flow hasn't changed, I still never take care about tomorrow, never think what comes next in life. I only believe in living today as from my opinion nobody knows what tomorrow holds for us, but today, today is our day and we can live it fully while doing everything that we can.
I have never tensed myself thinking about what future holds, what tomorrow holds for me, even I have never stressed myself when I was having exams, I even never have thought about that. But Yuan and ji juan fights with each other because of me and this is really stressing me out. Whenever I get stressed myself I always end up making myself sick or suffer and now this is really affecting me, soo making them friends it's not just for them only there is hidden motive of me behind it.
Then I take a deep long breath and said to myself while looking at myself in the mirror, I said that come on Zhao Shiza you can do this, this is not seventh wonder of universe, it's just a simple thing, yes you can and you will. Then after saying it to myself I tidy up myself and my hair which was a bit messy because I was sleeping on bed for soo long due to that high fever.
Thank god I have already worn my dress that I have to wear when I go out, the same white dress, now atleast I don't need to waste my time on changing my clothes. Then after tidying up myself I go out from my room and then I messaged Yuan on his wee chat that did you find any place.
Yuan reply me faster I said it to myself. Then after five to six minutes Yuan's reply came, I immediately opened it and it's written in it that yes I have silly girl and he also sends me that location of that place on map. I smiled after seeing that message of him then I replied him back that be there I'll reach there directly first you go there then I sent it to him.
Then after just two to three minutes of sending that message to him he immediately calls me and I picked it up and on call he asked me how could you come there alone you are not well silly girl and still doing and saying these things we will go together he said it.
No Yuan first you go there I'll reach there within fifteen minutes don't worry about me you just go first I said it.
But why we are already here in a same hotel we are going to same place our destination is same then why should we go separately how could it sound sensible he asked me.
Yuan please I need time to get ready I said it.
Take it he replied.
Yuan why don't you understand this restaurant is not soo far away from hotel I can come you just you just first go there I said it to him.
Yuan exhales sharply and said just twenty minutes he said it.
Twenty minutes I repeated it what what does that mean I asked him.
You just have twenty minutes if you don't come down within twenty minutes from the hotel then I'll personally come and take you with me now it's upto you think about it which is better me coming to you and taking you with me or you coming to me it's up to you and then he cut that call.
Oooo Yuan why are you soo impossible I thought that my stubbornness can make the whole world bend down but you are really not from the whole world cause you are the one where Zhao Shiza's theory of stubbornness fails yes ofcourse if you have to be like otherwise I haven't fallen for you. I smiled while saying these things in my mind while still standing in the lobby. The people who are passing near me must have been thinking that this girl is really out of her mind standing and giggling in herself only why why did I always make myself embarrassed.
Then I stopped my thoughts and said it to myself that it's not the time of thinking now it's the time of doing and I have to do it. Then I think about another plan. I think think and think for few minutes then I got it and I said it to myself that if you are Xu Yuan then I am also Zhao Shiza I won't let my mission fall down like this before even starting. Then I messaged ji juan on his wee chat and write that come outside the hotel and then I pressed the send button and send it to him.
Then I came out of the hotel where I waited for two to three minutes and after that ji juan came why did you call me out here he asked me.
Actually me and yuan are going out for a meal outside soo how can I forget my friend over here who helped me soo much today when I was sick I said it.
How could you even count me as your friend if you are already thinking of repaying back to me for what I have done for you he said it to me.
I think I think he gets me wrong I didn't infact I never meant to hurt his feelings I got little shocked from his words he is getting me wrong it's not like that.
Ji juan I said to him that I am not repaying you back how can I even repay you back it was emotions which carries a lot of heart warming feelings for me how could I even think to repay it back to you with some meal does your feelings are that easy that it gets repaid back with just a meal.
Then why are you saying these things to me and asking me to go out with you and have a meal with you if it's not like that he asked me a bit angrily I haven't heard him sounding like this ever since we have met with each other but this is really right to say that sometimes even a very good person can lose his calm when they are pushed beyond their limits and I think I have really exceeded that limit.
Then I take a deep breath and said ji juan your feelings your emotions and whatever you have done to me for me today I really appreciate that and trust me how could I even think to repay it back repaying such precious things which carries so much pure emotions and feelings and care was never in my hands never I said it to him.
I am only asking you to come out with me and Yuan and have a meal together since we have entered Beijing we all didn't have eaten anything we were just get busy in the fuss so I want you to come with us as a friend a very good friend who always cares for me without asking anything in return I said it to him.
Tears started forming in his eyes yes I can see it his eyes becomes watery but he didn't let it out he didn't and while trying to control them he said you and yuan both are going out together I don't wanna be there and become the third person over there you both go. Ji juan turned away and was about to go from here but then I said to him that weren't you wants that everyone in this world sees you with my eyes the way I see you in my eyes the way the person you are in my eyes weren't these were your words I asked him.
He smiles and turned to me and said yes I was the one who said it but after a pause of a minute he continued and said but I think I got you wrong I don't think that you are the person I was thinking.
And this hurts me this word from him really hurts me did he really meant it or it's just he is saying all these things just to hurt me I don't know what's the reason behind or did he really think that about me that bad about me today I able to know how the person's changes within a span of moment when the situation came.
I couldn't control myself and started crying right away and falls down on the ground and started crying while sitting over there and said why you are sounding like that I am such a bad person or or I have just done something that I have ashamed of I have never trust me but why you seemed like putting allegations on me why ji juan why weren't you were my friend did friend really do these things with each other or they really put them in a spot I asked him while crying.
He didn't utter a single word from his mouth he is just standing here like a statue a statue of stone who didn't even have feelings in it and he turned his back away from me and before leaving from there he said somethings are meant to be ended like this only because if it didn't then it only hurts everyone over here so it's better that only the one person gets hurt and after saying that he went inside the hotel.
I really don't know what he means from it but yes I can say one thing now that it really doesn't matter how much you try but somethings are just meant to be ended like this only where all your efforts got failed down like mine.
Then I heard the sound of footsteps approaching towards me and I immediately stood up from there and wiped my tears with both of my hands and turned around with a bright smile on my face and then it was him standing over here in front of me and he asked me that.....