Then Yuan said to himself that he must go to her. She must be worried about how I behaved with her, what will she think about me? No, no, no, I must see her, he said to himself and was about to go to my room. But suddenly one of the crew members came to him and said, "Mr. Xu, are you ready for the next shot?"
Yuan stopped immediately, nodded his head, and said, "Hmm, I am."
Then after a while, we were having a scene together. Yuan was sitting in front of me on a chair, holding his script in his hands. I was also sitting in front of him, holding my script in my hands. It seemed like he wanted to talk to me, say something to me, but he wasn't able to. I also couldn't ask him anything right now as we were here on the set for our work, and if I took any step in that direction, things might go against everyone. But what was I supposed to do now? This question was bothering me very much.
But then suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder, and a voice came from behind saying, "Miss Zhao, any problem regarding the dialogues? You can ask me. At least now we can share this bond, that you can share your problems with me if you are having any," Ji Juan said to me.
I forced a smile on my face, a smile that anyone could tell was totally fake, but I had to force that smile, and I replied to Ji Juan in my most polite way, "Sorry, Mr. Ji Juan, if my actions made you misunderstand something. I am not having any problem, and even if there is any problem, then I need to solve it on my own. Seeking help from others all the time is not a good thing, Mr. Ji Juan. What do you think about it, hmm?" I asked him.
Ji Juan laughed a sarcastic laugh that I could understand and said, "How did I become Mr. Ji Juan? Weren't you calling me Ji Juan just a few hours before? How did this 'Mr.' come in between?" he asked me.
I smiled at him and said, "It didn't come in between, it came before it. And weren't you the one who was calling me Miss Zhao from the very starting moment we met? So what I believe is that if someone is giving you respect, then you have to give that same respect back to that person. So the simple formula is give respect and take respect. You were already giving me respect from the very first moment, so I have to do the same. How can I not?"
"You are quite a smart one, Miss Zhao. I haven't thought of that choice," Ji Juan said.
"What good choice?" I asked him.
"Nothing, it just slipped out of my tongue," he said.
"Then you have to be very careful, Mr. Ji Juan. Your tongue slips so much that you don't even know it can really create a fuss for you in the future. You need to handle this habit of your tongue slipping out meaningless words at wrong timings. What if your tongue slips in front of the wrong people about a very wrong thing? They might think of you as a wrong person. So you need to work harder on this habit and be careful with your words in the future," I said.
Ji Juan smiled and said, "You talk quite much, Miss Zhao. I haven't thought that."
"I know. Whoever meets me first thinks that I am a shy, less-spoken person in the room, but once they know me well, they all request me to stop talking," I said.
"So it means I know you at least this much, I came this far," Ji Juan said.
I was about to answer him, but then suddenly Director Li's voice came, and he said, "Come for the shot." Ji Juan went first. I was also going there, but before that, I just turned my face a little to see him, and it seemed like he was already looking at me. The moment I saw him, he changed his eye direction and focused on the script he was holding.
I smiled and said in a lower voice so that only he could hear me, "Yuan, Yuan, I think you have forgotten that you are carrying the most expressive eyes in the whole of China. Don't act like I haven't noticed it before. Your girlfriend might be wrong about some things about you, but the fangirl inside me will never be. So stop pretending and come to the shot. I hope you have read your dialogues well, or was your attention somewhere else?" I asked him in my teasing tone, and then I left from there.
Then right after that, we three were standing in front of the camera where our scene needed to be shot. In this scene, the female lead, which was me, got disheartened because Yuan's character and I had a fight over something. Taking advantage of that fight, Ji Juan's character entered the scene, trying to brainwash me.
Everything was going quite well in proper sync until Ji Juan held my hand in that scene and pulled me closer towards him. It was written in the script, but still, someone else doing it—I just didn't like it. My expression changed a bit. Yes, I was still in my character, but the real person inside me was not feeling good at all. But it was just a scene. It was already written. It wasn't something I didn't know. Still, if someone else touched me other than him, I just didn't feel good at all.
I knew Ji Juan was only doing his work, whatever his character in the drama required. "I think I am thinking too much. Zhao Shiza, stop your thoughts and focus on the scene," I said to myself in my mind.
Then finally, the shot ended, and we were again able to hear the most comforting words from our Director Li, the words our ears eagerly wanted to hear. Director Li said, "Good one. Done for today. Pack up. Tomorrow everyone reach on time."
We all took a deep sigh of relief, and everyone on the set started packing their things as fast as they could. No matter how much time, life, and years change, going home early will always make everyone happy. Of course, their families are waiting for them to come back and spend time together.
I was smiling while looking at everyone, seeing how fast they were packing and how eager everyone was to get back to their home sweet home. Then suddenly, I saw him getting inside his long black car. His assistant closed the door as soon as he got inside.
But why did he leave so early? He never does this. Or was I just taking too much time thinking about everyone and smiling foolishly that I didn't notice how fast he left? He usually drives his car himself, but today his team came for him. Maybe he didn't want to drive today. Or maybe I pissed him off too much today.
Should I text him on WeChat or call him? I asked myself. No, no, no, Zhao Shiza. I pinched my cheek and said to myself that I can't piss him off more. I already did it enough today. A good relationship works well only when partners understand each other's emotions and give space when needed. I think I shouldn't bother him anymore. I'll talk to him directly tomorrow.
But he didn't say a word to me today. He didn't even look at me. I was thinking all this when Ji Juan came to me and asked, "Miss Zhao Shiza, don't you owe me a meal? What about treating me now? I'm a bit hungry."
I smiled and said, "Mr. Ji Juan, aren't you asking too much today?"
He smiled back and said, "It's just a meal. You were the one who said you'd treat me. I didn't force you. I'm just trying to make it today because I'm hungry, and my hotel is far away. I can't control my hunger till then. My mom always says eating together makes food tastier," he said.
The word mom did something to me. I suddenly remembered my mama, how much she used to love me. But today, so many years have passed, and she doesn't even want to see my face. A tiny tear dropped from my eye.
Ji Juan noticed it and immediately asked, "Are you crying, Miss Zhao? Did I say something wrong?"
I forced a smile again and said, "It's nothing, Mr. Ji Juan. Just a little eye infection from the makeup. Let's go eat, or your stomach will curse me."
He laughed and said, "So this is also a thing?"
"Yes," I replied.
Then we went to a nearby restaurant. He asked, "What about going in my car?"
I smiled and said, "What about public transport? You should experience that joy."
He smiled and said, "Okay, wherever you take me."
We waited at the bus stand for five minutes. When the bus arrived, we stepped inside. I sat on my usual window seat, and Ji Juan sat beside me.
"Wear your mask, or people will recognize you," I whispered.
He smiled and said, "It's not required. I'm not that famous."
I could feel the pain in his words. "Don't say that. Everyone is equal," I said to console him.
"In your eyes, I wish everyone saw me the way you do," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"The way you see everyone equal," he replied.
I nodded and looked outside the window, letting the cold winter breeze of Shanghai touch my face. I closed my eyes, and the moment I closed them, I saw…