I broke the hug and said, "Xu Yuan, but I don't deserve you. You are such a big superstar of China and the C-drama industry. I am just an ordinary girl. I don't deserve you. I really don't. You deserve someone better."
He cupped my face and said, "Look at me, you silly girl. Just look at me. Who told you that you don't deserve me? Yes, there is a possibility that I don't deserve you."
I put my hand on his mouth and said, "No, please don't ever say that again. My Xu Yuan is the best."
He chuckled and gently pulled my hand down with his hand and said, "Then don't you dare say ever again that my Zhao Shiza doesn't deserve me."
I smiled through my teary eyes and said, "Okay, fine. We both deserve each other."
"Yes, that's perfect now," he said, hugging me again.
"Xu Yuan, but I want to say something to you, just right here," I said, thinking of something in my mind.
He broke the hug, looked down at me, and said, "Say it."
I spoke in a tiny voice and said, "I… I just don't feel myself pretty enough for you. I mean, you have worked with so many beautiful actresses, and your previous girlfriend is also very pretty. I don't even stand beside them."
He smiled and said, "You are right that you don't stand beside them, because your beauty is beyond them. Trust my eyes—they have never seen such a beautiful girl like you."
I laughed a little. "Stop it, Xu Yuan. You are just motivating me," I said.
"No, I am just telling you the truth that you already know but didn't accept. Tell me, haven't you seen the mirror?" he asked.
I nodded. "I do. I see it daily," I said.
"Then stop looking at the mirror from now onwards," he said.
I got a little shock and asked, "Why? Then where will I see myself?"
"Just see into my eyes. It's the mirror for you—the mirror of your beauty. In this mirror, you are the most beautiful girl this mirror has ever seen."
"Xu Yuan," I hit his arm lightly and said, "you are so dramatic. This is not your drama series going on where you say such cheesy lines to impress your female lead."
"Yes, I know. But don't you like Margherita pizza?" he asked while laughing.
"Yes, I do," I said, looking down.
"Then from now onwards, I am your Margherita pizza, okay?"
I wiped my tears and said, "You are too much, Xu Yuan."
"Too much only for my everything," he said. "And see, you both sound the same."
"Who?" I asked.
"You and Margherita pizza," he said.
"How?" I asked.
"See, you are Zhao Shiza and it's Margherita pizza—Zhao pizza. Both are so similar and familiar. Shiza, pizza… pizza, Shiza. So you choose which one you like—Margherita Shiza or Zhao pizza. Actually, I like both. Both are mine," he said, laughing uncontrollably.
"Now you are making fun of my name, hm?" I said, pouting.
"It's not my fault. See, you both have similarities, and your name—your name is so unique," he said.
"Stop, Xu Yuan. If you make more fun of me, then I'll get out of this car," I said.
He raised his eyebrow and said, "Oh, so now you are blackmailing me?"
I nodded my head and said, "Yes."
"First, stop pouting. You look cuter while doing this," he said.
Hearing this made me blush so hard that my whole face turned red.
"Hey, if I am not wrong, you are blushing, right?" he said, placing his finger on my cheek. "You look like a plump cherry tomato," he laughed.
"Xu Yuan, are you bullying me?" I asked.
"No, I am just enjoying this feeling—just living this moment, which is mine, only mine," he said.
"Xu Yuan, you know what? There was a time when I tried to forget you and tried so hard to make myself understand that you are a celebrity and I am just your ordinary fan girl. There is no match between us. We are so far away from each other, and falling for a celebrity is a foolish thing. No one will understand it. Everyone will think I am an immature fool. We have differences, but—"
He stopped me mid-way, cupped my face with both his hands, and said, "Don't ever say that loving someone is foolish or stupid. Love is just love. It's a feeling, an emotion, and it can happen to anyone, with anyone. Love doesn't see whether the other person is your neighbour or not, your relative or not. Love just happens when it feels like it. And those people are fools themselves who say that loving someone unreachable or far away is foolish. This is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. Those who say loving a celebrity wholeheartedly makes you immature—tell me, when does love see maturity or immaturity? When does love see practicality or impracticality?"
I looked into his eyes, and there was only the reflection of my own love that I had been feeling for him for years.
Then I said, "You know what, Xu Yuan? My Mr. Heart also told me the same thing you are saying right now."
He looked confused and asked, "Who is your Mr. Heart?"
I smiled, placed his hand on my heart, and said, "It's my Mr. Heart—where you live rent-free from the moment I saw you on my TV screen."
He smiled and said, "Xiexie, xīn xiānshēng ( Mr. Heart), for keeping me inside you for such a long time, even after knowing there was the least possibility of us being together. I promise in return I'll never make you cry."
Then he took my hand, placed it on his heart, and said, "So from today, this is my xīn xiǎojiě (Miss Heart)."
I smiled and said, "You copied me."
"No, I just found the partner for your Mr. Heart," he said. "So from now onwards, we both will take care of our Mr. Heart and Miss Heart, and they will take care of us."
"Xu Yuan, you are—" I said.
"You are what? Tell me," he asked while hugging me, his chin resting on my head, my hands holding his shoulders.
"Our paths collided. We never imagined we would ever meet, but we did—and this beautiful thing happened today."
Tears formed again in my eyes as I said, "You know what, Xu Yuan? There was a time when I cried every day, every night, seeing your photos with your girlfriend on your Weibo account. I felt so small. I felt like the worst girl on this planet. I even stopped watching your dramas because I couldn't see you with other girls. When I knew you would never be mine, you didn't even know I existed. I thought maybe my life would end one day and you would never know about me. Do you know how it feels knowing your eyes would never see me, your hands would never hold mine? It feels like someone stabbing my back."
I cried again.
He cupped my face and made me look at him. "I can't even imagine how much one-sided pain you suffered for so long. See—my eyes see only you. See—my hands are holding yours so tightly that you can't even escape."
He cried too, pressed his forehead to mine, and said, "I am sorry for the past, but from today and for our future, I'll never let you cry like this again. Never."
He wiped my tears with his hands and said, "Stop crying, my silly girl. Look at you—you're exhausted from crying. Why are you hurting wǒ de nǚ péngyou (my girlfriend ) and making her tired, hm?"
Nǚ péngyou (Girlfriend).
That word hit me hard. Did he really mean it, or was it just because I was weak right now? I asked myself. My heart knew the answer—but it wasn't ready to accept it yet...