Dhriti Rathore slowly opened her eyes, sitting bolt upright. Her heart raced as confusion flooded in. Hadn't she just died? She looked around, disoriented. In the yellow light, familiar surroundings loomed—her childhood home. Was this a dream? A hallucination?
As she pinched her arm, the pain felt real.
She stumbled to her feet, her mind reeling. She felt like everything that happened was a dream, but knew in her heart that it was anything but a dream. She can still feel her heart racing, the pain she felt after jumping off the building—bones cracking, her blood flowing, painting the ground red, the heartbreak she felt, the desperation to be loved by someone, even just a little bit.
All these complicated emotions cannot be felt by a five-year-old.
She knew at that time—she was Reborn before everything started, she could change her life for the better and would no longer be the miserable dhriti she once was—desperate for love and attention, following everything she was told to do. She will now focus on herself, become independent, and live her life by her own rules.
She glanced at her hands, rough and bruised with calluses, not at all like a hand a five-year-old should have. It's not surprising that her hands are like this; she does all the chores at home, from cooking, sweeping, to feeding the cows. Everyone thinks that she is cursed; her family, including her own parents, does not like to see her face. She will get beaten with a stick if someone mistakenly sees her face. Her hair was dirty, as there was no one to care for her or even to teach her how to care for her hair.
She glanced around her small room. Yes, she had a separate room to herself, as no one wanted to even come near her, as they were afraid of getting cursed and facing the wrath of the gods.
It has a small broken mirror she picked up from the trash, there was a fan, and a single LED light. She slept on the floor with just a bedsheet under her. It was a separate house with just two rooms away from the main house. Previously, both rooms were used for storage, but she cleaned up one room in perfect condition, little by little, by moving all the scraps to the next storage room.
Before that, she lived with her parents in the same room with her brother and parents sleeping on the bed, and she slept on the floor. As soon as she grew up a little to understand and to do some chores, her parents moved her to this house away from everyone.
The room in which she lived has stone slabs, which were used for flooring, and which will be very cold in winter. It has only been one month since she started living here and also started doing all the house chores. She always wakes up in the morning before anyone and starts sweeping around the house and cleaning everything, the floor and other things shine. If even a corner was missed or even a speck of dust was found, she would get beaten with a stick and not be given food for the day.
Even after all this, she was hoping that if she did everything as her parents told her to do, one day she would also get their love and attention, just like her little brother, whom they cherish like their world and call their future hope and support in old age.
She, too, wanted such love and worked hard to get it, but she forgot that love can't be earned like this. In the process, she forgot to love herself; thus, she felt so lonely and desperate for love.
Now in this life, she didn't want love and approval from them or from anyone. She would, from now on, not expect love from anyone; she won't beg for love. She will work on herself from now on to become better each day. No, she won't compare herself to her brother or anyone, the fortunate ones or the unfortunate ones; she won't feel pity for herself.
She had pitied herself enough in her past life and got ruined.
She takes one deep breath to calm down, and lies down and sleeps, as it's still three in the morning. She slept until five and woke up before everyone else to do her daily chores. She has to do this now as she doesn't have any other choice—she has to live here till she grows up and save money to live outside.
She cleans all the rooms, removes the spider web, sweeps the floor very meticulously, and starts cooking. Today she will make bhindi (okra) ki sabzi and Roti for everyone.
She starts by washing, cutting the bhindi vertically, and adding oil to the pot; all the spices she adds are in the perfect ratio. She wants her cooking to be no less than five-star chefs, and wants the dish to taste good.
After cooking, she returns to her room to study. Just after she returns, her mom, Rama, wakes up to see everything spotless. She is surprised by the work done by a five-year-old, the work that has never been done with this perfection, and wasn't able to find any fault to scold that girl. She goes into the kitchen and is once again surprised by the dish and the rotis, which were perfectly round with just the right thickness. She tasted the sabzi. It's very delicious, that burden is somewhat useful, she thinks.
After sometime everyone wakes up one after another her father Mahesh shouts to bring the breakfast as he has to farm early, "What is made today? Bring it quickly I don't have time to waste like you" he says, grandmother Jaya says tauntingly "Where is that girl? Has she even woken up, looks like she needs a good beating".
Dhriti hears everything as both are very loud, as if afraid that no one will hear it. She ignores them and continues to study.