The week after the Pudding Incident—or 'Pudding-gate,' as I'd dramatically dubbed it—was a tense cold war. We exchanged glares in the hallway that could curdle milk. I 'accidentally' knocked a stack of her books over. She 'accidentally' used my homework as a coaster for her iced coffee. It was beautiful, petty, high-stakes warfare.
Then, everything went wrong.
It all started with Kaori Amamiya, the undisputed school idol. She was cute, popular, and radiated the kind of gentle energy that made small animals and shy boys flock to her. Some of my less-than-brilliant classmates had gotten it into their heads that my constant, passionate declarations in the cafeteria were actually a sign of a deep, unrequited love for Kaori.
The rumor spread like wildfire. "Did you hear? Aoshi Tanaka is crazy about Kaori!"
I tried to deny it. "No, I was yelling about pudding! P-U-D-D-I-N-G!" But my protests were lost in the romantic narrative the school had decided to write for me.
The final nail in my coffin came when Kaori's fan club, a terrifyingly organized group of upperclassmen, cornered me behind the gym.
"We hear you have feelings for our precious Kaori," their leader said, cracking his knuckles.
"No, no, you've got it all wrong!" I stammered, holding my hands up in surrender.
"It's okay to admit it," another one said, slinging a beefy arm around my shoulders. "But you should know, she's turned down every guy in this school. You don't stand a chance."
My pride, already wounded from my pudding defeat, couldn't take it. A stupid, reckless idea exploded in my brain.
"That's because… I'm not interested!" I blurted out. "I can't be! I… I already have a girlfriend!"
The words hung in the air, shimmering with their own sheer stupidity. The fan club stared at me. I stared back, my heart hammering.
Danawa, who had just rounded the corner, froze. "A girlfriend? Dude, since when?"
I shot him a panicked look. "Since… recently! She's amazing! Yeah! Super amazing!"
The fan club leader narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah? Who is she? Does she even go to this school?"
My mind went completely blank. I scanned the courtyard in desperation, and my eyes landed on the absolute worst possible person. There, by the water fountain, was Rina Hoshino, reading a book and minding her own business.
It was a moment of insanity. A brain-aneurysm of an idea.
"It's her!" I pointed, my finger shaking. "Rina Hoshino! She's my girlfriend!"
Danawa's jaw dropped. The fan club turned to look. Rina, sensing the shift in atmosphere, looked up, her expression a blank question mark. She saw me pointing, saw the goons, and her eyes narrowed in a way that promised me a slow and painful death.
The rumor mill went into overdrive. My fake news had somehow canceled out the old fake news. The school was now buzzing not with my non-existent crush on Kaori, but with the impossible-to-believe reality of my relationship with the Ice Queen.
The next day, I was summoned to an empty classroom. Waiting for me were Rina and her two friends. Rina was sitting at a desk, tapping a single finger on its surface. The rhythmic tap, tap, tap was more intimidating than a death metal drum solo.
"Tanaka," she began, her voice dangerously calm. "Explain. Now."
"Look, I panicked!" I said, throwing my hands up. "They had me cornered! It was a life-or-death situation!"
Yuna bounced in her seat. "Ooh, a secret relationship! How romantic! Is this where you sneak around so no one knows about your forbidden love?"
"There is no love, forbidden or otherwise," Rina said, her glare fixed on me. "This is idiocy."
Aomei, however, was smiling that foxy smile of hers. She held up her phone. "Well, about that… I might have a solution. Or, let's call it… an arrangement."
She pressed a button. A video started playing. It was me, in the cafeteria, during Pudding-gate. But it was cleverly edited. It cut out the context, focusing on me pointing at Rina, my voice booming, "This means war, Hoshino!" followed immediately by a clip of me yesterday, pointing at her and yelling, "It's her! Rina Hoshino!" The video ended with a freeze-frame on my face, with cheesy pink hearts floating around my head.
My blood ran cold. "You… you wouldn't."
Aomei's smile widened. "Oh, I would. Unless… you both agree to my terms."
Rina looked from the phone to Aomei, a flicker of something—annoyance? betrayal?—in her eyes. "What do you want, Aomei?"
"Simple," Aomei said, leaning forward. "The school festival is coming up. The planning committee meeting is tomorrow. I want you two to go. Together. As a 'couple.' You just have to keep up the act for a little while, long enough for the rumors to die down into something boring. Do that, and this video disappears forever."
It was blackmail. Pure and simple. I was trapped. Rina was trapped.
I looked at Rina, expecting an eruption of icy fury. Instead, she was silent for a long moment. She looked at Aomei, then at Yuna's hopeful, excited face, and finally, her cold eyes landed on me.
"Fine," she said, the word clipped and sharp. "One meeting. We'll go, pretend to be the sickeningly sweet couple everyone apparently thinks we are, and then this entire disaster is over. Understood?"
I nodded, my throat suddenly dry. "Understood."
"Good," she said, standing up. "Pick me up after school tomorrow. And Tanaka?"
"Yeah?"
"If you're even one minute late," she said, leaning in close, her voice a frosty whisper that sent a shiver down my spine, "I will personally ensure that the video Aomei leaks is the least of your worries."
She swept out of the room, Yuna scrambling after her. Aomei gave me a triumphant wink before following them, leaving me alone with my impending doom. A fake date. With Rina Hoshino. This wasn't just a catastrophe. It was an apocalypse.