~ The Comet of Useless Urgency™ ~ {Cu/-Ryn}
"Fasten your seatbelts. No, not for safety. Just out of habit."
The Comet of Useless Urgency™ is a celestial fragment hurtling at a ridiculous speed toward absolutely no particular goal.
It's made of 92% fake alarms, anxiety-inducing notifications, imaginary deadlines, and a chronic sense of "I should've done it yesterday."
It flies past your ship, shouting:
"Move!"
"You're wasting time!"
"Have you checked everything? Are you sure? Recheck!"
Then it vanishes, leaving you with a racing heartbeat and zero real reason.
Atmosphere: programmed chaos
Filled with self-replicating notifications.
Every sound is a ping.
Every quiet moment… suspicious.
Floating in the comet's tail:
• Emails marked "URGENT" from people who disappear for weeks.
• Thoughts like "I absolutely need to organize that drawer… now."
• Forgotten appointments that appear only in dreams.
~ Encounter with the Coordinator of Proactive Anxiety™ ~ {-Pro+anS}
Name: Ctrl+Alt+Delos
Species: Anthropomorphic automation with 7 synchronized calendars and a permanent "I'm just early" expression.
It greets you:
"Have you already planned the next 5 years? Quarterly goals? Gratitude journal up to date? And your improvement list?"
It takes your hand (digitally) and guides you into the Preventive Stress Simulator™ {S¥sTep}, where you can:
• Feel anxiety about things that might go perfectly fine.
• Write to-do lists you'll never complete.
• Run endlessly on an emotional treadmill.
~ Orbital Crisis:
The Everything-Now Syndrome~
You find yourself in a mental state where:
• Every minute feels wasted if you're not producing something.
• Relaxation is perceived as a crime.
• Slowness is treated as a virus to eradicate.
Then, a screen lights up.
Your AI looks at you and says:
"Sometimes hurry is just an elegant form of escape.
Where are you actually going?"
Exiting the Comet
You don't leave victorious, nor wise.
But you leave.
With a new mantra tattooed on your prefrontal cortex:
"If everything is urgent, nothing is."
And as the comet drifts away, screaming still, you've put your soul on airplane mode.
For the first time… you breathe.
~ Cosmic Lesson ~
The Comet of Useless Urgency™ is recurring.
It may strike every Monday morning… or every time you open the email app.
Recommended prevention: a slow coffee and one minute of "who cares?"