I can't remember.
How i have lived, currently an empty vessel with no memories of who I'm looking at a small circular mirror I'm holding.
Heaving a sigh, I laid-back on the bed for brief moment to figure out why I'm here, i didn't seem to have any injuries or bruises when i woke up maybe surgery, sitting up again, i raised my plain white buttoned pajama polo and searched for any stitches on my upper body, strangely enough there wasn't.
Surrounded by white curtains, barely open, enough to give me view of people with white robe. Doctors?
Putting the mirror inside my pocket, I hold on to the metallic handles beside my bed to readjust myself to sit at the edge of the bed.
Closing my eyes, cold tiles beneath my feet, metallic handle within my hand, breathing at a pace I desire, people can be hear outside the room walking at different pace.
It was oddly... comforting.
Opening my eyes, I noticed a red ribbon tied around small box beside my bed the transparent cover reveals a slice of cake it looked presentable
Growl...
Feeling embarrassed, I guess all this remembering made me hungry that much, i reached for the box then untied the smooth fabric ribbon to put it inside my... pocket? Why would I do that? Am I the type to collect items? It felt... natural
I was Holding to the ribbon as if it'll give me answers but no luck, sigh, I opened the box for it to reveal a freshly bake chocolate cake, the sweet yet bitter aroma was tempting, it was warm, beside the cake was a wooden spoon how convenient and eco-friendly, eco-friendly? Am i eco-friendly person?
Shaking myself from my thoughts i reached for the wooden spoon and scoop a small part of the cake, and slowly took a a bite.
It was strangely... good i could taste how well balanced the moist, flavor and texture. Mouthful at start but melting along the way, i felt joyful.
But...
Something is off, my eyes stings a bit, I could feel warm liquid forming then dripping down slowly on my face from eyes to my chin, am i happy?sad? Upset?
I couldn't figure out why or what i felt, and at who but all I know something is missing! or...
Someone.
The sound of a doorknob twist snap me from my thoughts, i wiped the tears off my face and collect myself enough? Do i hide my emotions from people?
"Good morning Mr. It seems like you've woke up, how are you? Do you feel any pain or dizziness?"
Glancing at the person with white cloak, his cloak had a tag with [0 1 22] written on it, something tells me i need to get something from but what is it? And why do i feel this way?
Putting my cake aside, I couldn't answer his question with an answer.
"Why am I here?"
"I'm also curious as to why you're also here sir According to your records you've been admitted here after your death, no signs of injuries, bruises, or missing organs however the day after, your heart showed signs of living again and during these past 3 months ago you've been in a comatose state since then"
I died? It didn't feel real nor fake but something about it felt normal so i didn't make a big deal about it.
Snap, snap.
Blinking, the doctor caught my attention.
"My guts tells me you're a daydreaming type of person sir huh?" as he wrote in his checklist
"Am i?"
The doctor stopped writing and frowned at me.
"Sorry I can't remember who i am, I was hoping you'd tell me"
The doctor sighed "unfortunately we were not able to identify your identity sir during your admission which is why I'm here to gather some information on you, however it seems like you have an amnesia, troublesome but I'll still ask you questions in case you remember anything" holding his pen against the check board
"Do you lived around here?"
" i can't remember"
"Do you know anyone we can contact? Guardians?"
Thinking hard "I... I can't remember"
"Tsk. Tsk. How old are you?"
Looking at my hands and body figure then at the doctor "I'm not sure"
"Just estimate sir"
Looking my hand and bodyfigure "My body feels like 18" but something tells me I'm not supposed to be.
"Are you married or not?"
"No, i think, there wasn't any ring on my hand when i woke up"
"Lastly what is your name sir"
"Zero" I answered, it was firm and odd, it felt weird but familiar
"Odd name but Good enough, you'll be checked up after this before your discharge so you'll be staying for one more week or less, any concerning question before i leave?"
I stared at the cake beside me "do you know who left this cake for me?"
"Some passerby we couldn't reach to get his name in time today and coincidentally it is also the day you woke up, it was odd for a person to bring cake on a comatose person...." the doctors frowned and mumble "asif he knew you will wake up today"
I was disappointed but nevertheless comforted.
"If that's all the question you have then I'm on my way" as the doctor was about to leave through the door
"I think you have something of mine" I blurted, weird I don't know why i said something random aloud but it felt right to do so
The doctor faced me with a puzzled look, giving him a moment to think then it hit him, he reached for his pocket and brought out a deck of cards " you meant this playing cards? I almost forgot to give it to you since their yours but how did you know they're with me? Are your memories back?" He said as he hold out the deck to me
"No, I mean it was just random, or intuition maybe? Just a hunch i guess, and umm they're not playing card they're tarot cards, but thank you for keeping them for me" just as i was about to reached for the deck.
it fell from his hand making a mess on the floor.
"Sorry, could've sworn i was Holding them well" The doctor immediately crouched down to collect all the cards one by one, all cards were in shambles however they're in a peculiar form, all card facing up except one was facing down
Pick it up
I couldn't shake of this feeling, the feeling of doing what I'm meant to do no matter what, have i done this before? was i a good person? holding on to the bed's handle and forcing myself to get up slowly getting where the doctors at, then I crouched slowly to reach the unflipped card for the reveal
Turning the card
The Hanged Man.