Chapter 6: Steve's Brain Overheating
Steve's brow furrowed: "You know me?"
"Of... of course!"
"But you've changed. You're so buff now, no longer weak. I almost didn't recognize you. Do you remember Ada Wong from beside Daming Lake? She's... been waiting for you for so long."
Carter: ???
Steve: ???
"Who's Ada Wong?" x2
"Just as I thought—you still won't forgive her, just like you won't forgive Claire."
"Who's Claire?" x2
Deadpool shook his head gently, seemingly disappointed: "What about Ashley then? The baby in her belly is yours. You can't just abandon her, can you?"
Carter turned to look at Steve.
"No, no, I don't know any of these people."
Sensing Carter's gaze, Steve stammered incoherently.
"What about Bucky?"
"You know about Bucky?"
Steve froze.
If before he could barely claim there was someone who looked like him and was also named Steve, now that explanation fell apart completely.
This mysterious man seemed to really know him.
Seeing this, Carter's eyes narrowed slightly as killing intent gathered in her gaze.
"Cough, cough. Of course I know him. James Buchanan Barnes—best friend to both of us since childhood. Ashley's boyfriend."
Deadpool coughed twice, "accidentally" dropping an even more explosive revelation.
"Wait, wait."
Being a woman with keener instincts, she detected the inconsistency in Deadpool's words: "You just said Ashley's boyfriend is Steve's best friend Bucky, but the baby in her belly is Steve's?"
"Oh!"
Deadpool's eyes widened. As if realizing he'd exposed a secret, he quickly covered his mouth, then began coughing very unconvincingly: "Cough, cough, cough."
Carter turned her head, the killing intent in her eyes reaching maximum intensity. She enunciated each word: "Corporal Steve Rogers, I heard you've never danced with a girl before?"
Steve felt his hair stand on end. Just as he was about to explain, Deadpool quickly stopped coughing and spoke again: "How is that possible? Tragic orphan backstory, pure and shy personality, plus a scrawny frame that triggers maternal instincts..."
"Every girl who hangs out at Brooklyn bars knows our shy dance king Ste—mmph mmph mmph~"
"Carter, it's not like that! Let me explain!"
Steve clamped his hand over Deadpool's big mouth, smiling awkwardly at Carter.
Little did he know, this expression only deepened Carter's suspicions.
"No need to explain. Badass lives don't need explanations."
Carter's lips curved upward. She flashed him a brilliant smile, then said: "You watch him. I'm going to call for a car to take him to the hospital."
Deadpool: ("▔□▔)
Holy crap!
He'd been so busy having fun that he'd completely forgotten—yo, I got SHOT, remember?
Only now thinking to call a car? If I didn't have immortality, I'd have bled out by now.
Steve shivered.
That smile on Carter's face was brilliant, yet it made him feel like he'd fallen into an ice cellar. A freezing sensation washed over him, as if he were about to become a seventy-year-old popsicle.
Grandma? Where are you?
Grandpa? Anyone?
Mayday, Mayday, I need thermal underwear!
Watching Carter walk away, Steve said through gritted teeth: "Buddy, lying isn't a good habit."
"You really don't remember?"
Deadpool yanked off his mask, revealing his severely burned face. He grabbed Steve's collar excitedly: "It's me—Wade! Steve! Your childhood friend! I only look like this because I saved you!"
"There's an ancient Chinese saying: 'A dying man's words are kind.' I'm about to die—why would I lie to you?"
Seeing Deadpool's face under the mask, Steve instinctively recoiled, but seeing the seemingly genuine expression, Steve's brow furrowed deeply.
Did I really have amnesia?
Was I really a bar-hopping scumbag who played around with my best friend's girl?
Why hasn't Bucky ever mentioned this?
Was it because I lost my memory and he didn't want to hurt me?
But if this is fake, this guy's acting is way too good.
The Oscar would be wasted on him.
Steve's brain was overheating.
"Phew, phew phew."
As if seeing the smoke rising from Steve's head, Deadpool kindly blew on it twice to help cool down his CPU.
My acting right now is SO good, the Oscar would be wasted on me. I should just create the Deadpool Award and knock Oscar off its pedestal.
Smug.jpg
You know that feeling when you watch a new movie or visit an unfamiliar place, and you get this weird sense of familiarity—like you've seen it or been there before?
That sensation of déjà vu gets stronger the more you think about it.
Steve was experiencing exactly that right now.
Maybe the super soldier serum had enhanced his brain and he hadn't adapted yet, but the more he thought about it, the more Deadpool's words felt like they'd actually happened.
But he couldn't recall specific details, couldn't remember those women's faces...
"Forget it!"
Steve shook his head violently, flinging away the chaotic thoughts. He looked at Deadpool seriously, his gaze full of sincerity: "Listen, buddy."
"I genuinely can't remember anything you're talking about. If I hurt you in the past, I apologize now. But I've changed. I like Carter. I'm begging you—even if you have to lie—please help me explain."
Deadpool tilted his head slightly, a huge question mark over his huge head: "Wait, bro, you actually BELIEVED me?"
The Deadpool Award is happening?
Steve's composure shattered instantly. He pointed at Deadpool's nose and cursed him out.
Unfortunately, Steve—like Wade's previous life—was a model citizen.
His dictionary had a severe shortage of profanity. The same few phrases recycled over and over. Low damage output, weak insult game. It made Deadpool yawn.
Deadpool pushed down Steve's pointing finger: "Save it, buddy. Seriously, my second aunt's double chin has a better trash-talk game than your mouth."
Steve: ...
Deadpool's casual comeback obliterated Steve's entire rant without leaving a trace.
The sound of brakes interrupted them. Both turned to see two people stepping out of a car, one of them being Carter returning.
Steve quickly stood up, pointing at Deadpool excitedly: "It's fake! Everything he said was fake, all lies! Carter, this guy's a fraud who spews nothing but nonsense!"
Deadpool pulled his mask back on and also stood up quickly. He clasped his hands in front of his stomach and bowed deeply to them both: "I'm sorry. I lied. I apologize."
Well-behaved.jpg
"Heh."
Carter glanced coolly at Steve, then looked at Deadpool with suspicion, feeling like she'd forgotten something.
"Um, you said someone was injured and needed to get to the hospital urgently? Which one is hurt?"
The driver who'd come with Carter to help asked in confusion.
Hearing this, Carter suddenly stared at Deadpool: ???
Wait, weren't you shot?
Hearing this, Steve suddenly stared at Deadpool: ???
Wait, weren't you shot?
Hearing this, Deadpool suddenly stared at his own chest: ???
Wait, wasn't I shot?
"Well, crap."
Deadpool looked up, his voice tinged with panic: "The act fell apart. There goes the Deadpool Award. Guess I gotta go steal that stupid Oscar after all!"
Carter drew her gun in one second. Bullet chambered.
BANG!