It started on a Tuesday. Ordinary, dull, and completely unprepared for cosmic nonsense.
Sibusiso Mamba — "Sbu" to everyone except his grandmother — was sitting on a bus headed to Mbabane, earphones in, nodding to amapiano, when the world decided to lose its mind.
Everything stopped.
Cars froze mid-road. The wind itself seemed to hold its breath. Then, like thunder echoing through the bones of reality, a voice resounded across the sky, the sea, the soul.
> "Humans of Earth. Your world will ascend in ten years."
"Before that—survive the Trials."
"Entertain me."
And just like that, silence.
Then the sky cracked open.
Golden threads of energy — no, something thicker, more alive — spilled downward, weaving into the air, soil, and ocean. It was qi. Pure, untamed spiritual qi. The kind of energy that poets might call divine… if it weren't currently causing birds to explode and phones to short-circuit.
Sbu blinked. "...What the hell just happened?"
His phone buzzed back to life.
#VoiceOfGod was already trending.
YouTubers were screaming "END TIMES LIVESTREAM."
TikTokers were outside meditating on their lawns trying to "absorb the vibes."
And the Chinese government had already issued a statement calling it "The Great Heavenly Mandate Revival."
Within hours, forums were flooded:
> "I can feel energy in my palms!"
"My dog tried to cultivate and passed out!"
"Bro, if this is real, I'm gonna be immortal by next year."
And then the next message hit — this one directly inside everyone's minds. A glowing glyph appeared in every person's vision for a heartbeat, followed by words no one could explain:
> [Basic Human Cultivation Technique: Breath of Origin has been implanted.]
[Begin absorption at your own risk.]
---
Sbu stared at the air in front of him where faint symbols flickered before fading away.
"…Implanted? Like an app update?"
That night, the news was chaos. Some people meditated, others tried breathing exercises, and a few… well, exploded. Literally.
Sbu, being an ambitious idiot, decided he wouldn't be left behind.
"I'm not letting some TikToker in Beijing become immortal before me," he muttered, sitting cross-legged on his bed.
He closed his eyes, focused on his breathing, and followed the strange rhythm that had appeared in his head.
Inhale…
Hold…
Exhale…
At first, nothing. Then — warmth. His veins burned like molten metal. His body shook.
"Okay—too much, too much!" he gasped. But it was too late.
His last thought before the world went black was: "At least I'll trend posthumously."
---
When he opened his eyes again, it wasn't Earth.
The sky above was filled with drifting embers. He stood in an endless ancestral plain, the air thick with ancient qi. A dozen figures in traditional Swazi garb stood before him — men and women with regal stares and faint golden light in their eyes.
The tallest of them frowned deeply.
> "This fool… died trying to cultivate on his first attempt?"
A woman next to him sighed.
> "Truly, our bloodline has thinned."
Sbu blinked. "Uh—hi. Sorry for dying?"
The ancestors exchanged looks. Then the leader waved his hand.
> "You are not ready to join us. Return, and redeem this shame. We will assign you a guardian."
A mechanical voice spoke beside him — smooth, artificial, yet oddly smug.
> [Guardian AI Unit 'IMBALI' initialized.]
[Primary Objective: Prevent Host from dying stupidly again.]
"...Hey!" Sbu protested. "That's uncalled for."
> [Analyzing Host: Mortality Probability — 97%. Statement stands.]
Before he could argue, a surge of light swallowed him whole.
---
He gasped awake in his bed, drenched in sweat.
The world was still buzzing with chaos outside — lights flickering, sirens wailing. But in front of his eyes, a translucent blue panel hovered.
---
[SYSTEM INTERFACE – GUARDIAN LINKED]
Name: Sibusiso "Sbu" Mamba
Age: 17
Origin: Eswatini
Cultivation Technique: Breath of Origin (Locked)
Current Tier: None
Qi Control: 0.00%
Vitality: Fragile
Guardian: IMBALI v1.0
---
> [Welcome back, Host.]
[Objective: Survive the next attempt.]
[Tip: Try not to explode this time.]
Sbu groaned. "I can already tell this partnership's gonna be stressful…"