Chapter 1: Back to the Beginning
Odessa's POV
Warmth.
The first thing I felt wasn't pain, or blood soaking into my skin, or steel tearing through me again. It was warmth. Gentle, almost soft, like sunlight resting on my face.
My eyes flew open.
The world was bright. Too bright. My last memory was darkness, my vision fading as Silas's blade plunged into me. Yet now… light stabbed at my eyes. I blinked rapidly, raising a hand to shield my face.
The warmth spread across my skin. Not the heat of blood loss, not the burning agony of betrayal. Real warmth. Real life.
No. That wasn't possible. I had died.
I sat up abruptly, my breath catching in my throat. My hands flew to my stomach, expecting mangled flesh, blood, something. But my palms met smooth skin, unbroken and whole.
"What…" My voice cracked, hoarse. "What is this?"
Then came the scent.
Wildflowers. Sweet, vibrant, full of life. Not the iron tang of blood or the suffocating stench of death. Flowers.
I turned my head, and my heart nearly stopped.
A field stretched out before me, alive with color. Sunflowers tilted toward the golden sky. Roses sparkled with dew. Daffodils lined the walk in perfect rows. Butterflies flitted between blossoms.
My chest tightened.
This was my mother's garden.
The very same she had tended with gentle hands, the place where I had laughed with my younger brother, August, when life was still whole. Before Silas. Before betrayal. Before I threw everything away.
But this garden had been destroyed. Burned when Silas claimed his throne, salted so no memory of my bloodline remained. I had watched the flames from the distance, powerless and broken.
So why was I here?
Was this death? A cruel afterlife that bound me to memories I had lost?
I squeezed my eyes shut, whispering to myself, "This isn't real. It's just… my life flashing before my eyes."
A sound cut through the stillness—footsteps.
Firm. Steady. Familiar.
My stomach twisted violently. No. No, no, no.
"Odessa," a voice called softly. A voice I once clung to. A voice that belonged to the devil.
Silas.
The bastard. The murderer. The man who had torn my son from my arms and carved me open like I was nothing.
My eyes snapped open, and there he was.
Tall, broad-shouldered, dark hair catching the sunlight. His sharp jaw, lips curved in something almost tender. And those eyes… brown flecked with gold, eyes I had once thought beautiful. Eyes now etched into my nightmares.
My hands trembled from the fury rising inside me.
The afterlife was cruel indeed. Why show me this monster and not the family I longed for?
"I…" My voice broke. "I must be in hell."
His brows knitted in confusion. He stepped closer. "Love? What are you saying?"
Love. The word twisted like a knife in my gut.
I wasn't his love. I was nothing to him.
Rage surged, blinding me. My hand shot out, seizing the bread knife from the side table. My knuckles whitened as I gripped it. If this was hell, then I would drag him down with me.
"Odessa...wait!" His hands lifted, palms outward.
I lunged. The blade kissed the skin at his throat. His eyes widened, his throat bobbing.
"Love, what are you doing?" he whispered.
The endearment tore me open. Memories crashed down, his sword piercing me, my son's cries, Emily's cruel laughter.
I pressed harder, drawing blood. My breath came ragged. "I'll kill you," I spat.
"Love… calm down."
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down!" My voice broke into a scream. "I'm not your love!"
A thin line of blood welled at his neck. I smiled at the sight, dark and vicious.
"Miss!"
The voice rang sharp and desperate. A figure rushed forward, shoving me back. My grip faltered.
Curly hair. A round, earnest face with brown eyes filled with warmth.
"Penny?" My voice cracked.
She blinked at me, confused. "Yes, miss. What's wrong? What's going on?"
Tears blurred my vision. My knees buckled, and I collapsed into her arms.
"Penny," I sobbed as I moved my hands through her hair, touching her to ensure she was real and that this wasn't a joke even if it was the afterlife. "You're here."
She stiffened before hugging me back awkwardly. "Miss, I was only gone a moment to fetch snacks for Alpha Silas. I wasn't gone that long…"
Her words barely registered. All I could think was that Penny was alive. Sweet Penny, who had died brutally in my past life, was warm in my arms again.
Behind her, Silas cleared his throat. "What's going on?" He rubbed his neck where I had pressed the knife.
I tore my gaze from Penny and looked at him properly.
And it was only then that I registered the fact that something was wrong.
Silas wasn't dressed like the Alpha who had murdered me. His tunic was plain, his boots muddied from training. And I knew that tunic. He had worn it the first time he confessed his love to me.
The memory slammed into me: this very garden, his voice whispering promises sweet as poison.
No. No, no, no.
"Penny." My voice shook.
"Yes, miss?"
"What is today's date?"
She frowned, then answered, "The last day of the tenth month, year 1809."
My breath caught. My knees nearly gave out...again.
This was the day Silas confessed his love to me. The day my nightmare began.
I staggered back into the house, with Penny calling after me. My feet carried me through halls I thought lost forever. No scorch marks, no rubble, no blood. My family's home stood whole.
I burst into my chamber, gasping. My hands shook as I clawed through drawers until I found a mirror.
I lifted it with trembling hands and froze.
The face staring back wasn't the broken woman Silas destroyed. It was younger, untouched by grief. Midnight hair gleamed. My blue-grey eyes shone clear. My skin was unscarred.
I looked twenty-one which was exactly how old I was when I fell into the trap that was Silas and the Blackmoon pack.
"Young," I whispered hoarsely as I touched my skin and even my hair. My lips and everything I could touch. "So young."
The mirror slipped from my hands, shattering across the floor. I stumbled back, chest heaving.
I pinched myself hard and moaned from the pain that followed. I slapped myself and cursed because that hurt a lot.
This was real? I was real?
Everything was real.
This wasn't hell.
Had I been sent back? Did the moon goddess hear my plea as I cursed Silas? Perhaps she did. And this time...I laughed...I wasn't going to make the same mistakes I made before.