Chapter 105: The Crisis of Identity
The Bureau was a place of ironclad roles, but at 08:00 Cycles, the "Self" became a Liquid Asset. The Giant Silver Question Mark didn't just hang on the "Front Cover" of the Bureau; it acted as a Vacuum of Personality. It pulsed with a grey, static light that began to strip the "Unique Traits" from the air.
"Commissioner!" Assistant Yue's voice was losing its resonance, becoming the flat, synthesized tone of a generic 1950s elevator. "WE. ARE. EXPERIENCING. AN. 'IDENTITY. BREACH'. AN. 'IDENTITY. THIEF'. FROM. THE. 'DEPARTMENT. OF. OVERUSED. TROPES'. IS. ATTEMPTING. TO. 'NORMALIZE'. OUR. CHARACTER. PROFILES. THEY. WANT. TO. REPLACE. YOUR. 7.5%. QUIRKS. WITH. A. 'STANDARD. GRUMPY. HERO. ARCHETYPE'!"
The Generic Transformation
The "Thief" manifested as a featureless, silver mannequin wearing a tuxedo. It held a Giant Silver Stamp labeled "THE PROTAGONIST."
The Muse gasped as her neon-blue hair began to turn into a "Standard Blonde Ponytail." "Ne Job! I'm being labeled as 'The Love Interest'! I can feel my dialogue becoming 100% predictable!"
Architect Ao Bing saw his leopard-skin robe fade into a "Wise Mentor's Grey Cloak." "My flair! My golden sandals! I'm being reduced to a 'Background Advisor' with no internal life!"
Pip was being compressed into a "Small Animal Sidekick" that could only communicate in squeaks.
Ne Job felt a terrifying pressure on his own identity. His silver-plumed hat was being pulled toward the Question Mark, replaced by a "Generic Brown Fedora." His Semicolon was vibrating, trying to straighten itself into a "Heroic Broadsword."
"I am an Archivist!" Ne Job roared, his voice momentarily sounding like a gravelly action-movie trailer. "I don't have a 'Haunted Past'! I have a Filing System!"
The 7.5% Individuality Gap
The Identity Thief stepped forward, its lack of a face making it impossible to read. "Individualism is inefficient," it stated in a voice that sounded like every movie hero at once. "The audience wants a 'Stoic Leader.' They want 'Uncomplicated Bravery.' Your 7.5% eccentricity is a 'Narrative Distraction.' Give me the Semicolon, and I will give you a 'Tragic Backstory' that guarantees a sequel."
"I don't want a tragedy!" Ne Job hissed, his eyes flashing a defiant violet. "I want to finish my Memos!"
The Semicolon of Specificity
Ne Job realized that you couldn't fight a Trope with strength. You had to fight it with Detail. A Trope is a "Generalization"; a Character is a "Semicolon of Exceptions."
"You want a Hero?" Ne Job yelled. "Then you'll have to take the Whole File!"
He didn't fire at the Thief. He used the Semicolon to Project his Peculiarities. He touched the violet light to his "Generic Fedora" and forced it back into a "Plumed Hat." He channeled the 7.5% Specificity of his Soul:
His inexplicable fear of "Unorganized Paperclips."
The fact that he drinks his tea at exactly 182°F.
The 314 different ways he knows how to staple a "Conflict Resolution."
The Trope Collapse
The violet energy hit the Identity Thief like a tidal wave of "Non-Transferable Traits." The featureless mannequin began to twitch. It couldn't process the Inconsistency. It tried to turn Ne Job's tea-preference into a "Heroic Trait," but it failed. It tried to turn his "Paperclip Phobia" into a "Tragic Flaw," but it was too specific.
The "Standard Grumpy Hero" shell shattered. The Identity Thief shriveled back into a "Placeholder Character" and was sucked back into the Question Mark, which promptly vanished into the "Unwritten Margins."
The Archivist's Log
The Bureau returned to its eccentric self. The Muse's hair snapped back to electric-neon blue, and Ao Bing immediately began polishing his golden sandals.
LOG: CHAPTER 105 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Identity maintained. Tropes rejected.
NOTE: A hero is just a character who hasn't been given enough 'Specific Details' yet.
OBSERVATION: I'd rather be a 'Complicated Archivist' than a 'Simple Legend.' Legend doesn't pay for the ink.
P.S.: Pip is still squeaking occasionally. I think they liked the 'Animal Sidekick' diet of 100% nuts.
The Muse leaned over his shoulder, her hair glowing with a relieved, neon-violet. "You're 7.5% weirder than I remembered, Ne Job. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was glowing with a sharp, individualistic violet.
"Complexity is our only defense, Muse," Ne Job said. "Now, why is Assistant Yue sounding a 7.5% alarm and why has a Giant Silver Scale appeared in the Lobby, and why is it currently weighing our 'Potential' against a 'Black Hole of Nihilism'?"