Chapter 12: Hachiman: Aren't These Two Just a Demon Couple?
Girls really do have two faces.
After seeing how Yukino treated him completely differently from how she treated Hayashida, Hachiman finally fully understood this truth.
As for Hayashida, he understood what Yukino meant—since you were the one who advocated taking on Teacher Hiratsuka's request, you'll be responsible for seeing it through.
Naturally, Hayashida had no objections to this.
"Don't worry, Hachiman-kun. Once you get to know her, you'll see that Yukino-san is actually a very kind person."
Kind? Hachiman glanced at Yukino, who was expressionlessly flipping through her book, and begged to differ.
He supposed Hayashida found Yukino kind because she was only kind to him. To outsiders like himself, that Yukino would only show a blizzard-like coldness, just like her name suggested.
What made Hachiman more curious, though, was the relationship between Hayashida and Yukino. Friends? Lovers?
He had never heard before that the top-ranked student Yukino had any male presence around her, but he could clearly sense that her attitude toward this classmate of his was unusual. Coupled with her resistance to him joining the club... could it be that he had stumbled into some campus romance story?
Whatever the actual situation might be, Hayashida and Yukino were nothing like him.
Damn normies, just explode already!
"Since Teacher Hiratsuka has entrusted you to the Service Club, the Service Club will definitely take full responsibility. I will cure your issues, so please rest assured." Hayashida flashed a confident smile worthy of a renowned doctor.
Hachiman, seemingly infected by this smile, instinctively replied:
"Please do..."
"Wait, no! I'm not sick!" Hachiman came to his senses and looked at Hayashida in horror, nearly led astray by this man. His persuasive power was terrifying.
Yukino chimed in coldly, "Generally speaking, mentally ill people claim they aren't sick."
"That's sophistry! And I'm not mentally ill." Hachiman felt Yukino wasn't paying much attention to her book at all.
Hayashida spoke to Hachiman in a babying tone, "Of course, of course, how could Hachiman-kun be mentally ill? Based on my observations just now, treating it shouldn't be difficult at all!"
As if to prove his point, Hayashida showed Hachiman his notebook.
Hachiman read the words aloud, "Self-awareness normal, verbal ability normal, logical thinking normal..."
"Pfft..." Yukino couldn't hold back a laugh. Noticing the looks from Hachiman and Hayashida, she cleared her throat and stifled her laughter, saying, "Sorry, please continue."
Hachiman took a deep breath. These two were definitely a devilish couple. All he did was veer a bit off track in his "High School Life Review"—why did he deserve such treatment?
"Alright, enough joking. Let's officially begin the session."
"Hey!"
"Ahem, Hikigaya-kun, do you have any friends?"
Faced with Hayashida's sudden seriousness, Hachiman instinctively straightened his posture.
Hachiman replied, "Absolutely none."
"Just as expected." Hayashida wore an expression that said he saw it coming.
"If this were a mental hospital, that would already qualify as a medical malpractice incident, wouldn't it?"
"Don't worry about the details."
"You're not the one who got hurt!"
"Hmph, who knows?" Hayashida replied with a double meaning.
Hachiman's expression changed, and he opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Hayashida continued, "What about your grades? How are they?"
This was a topic Hachiman could get excited about. He struck a classic protagonist pose—rubbing his nose with his thumb—and said, "Third in the liberal arts exam."
"Oh? That impressive? You've got some skills, you guy." Hayashida looked surprised.
"Just average, really." Hachiman couldn't quite suppress the corners of his mouth. Clearly, he had never received praise from peers before, and now he was getting a bit carried away.
Yukino seemed unable to tolerate Hachiman's demeanor. "Third place? How surprising. Is there no one else at our school?"
The implication was: How could someone like you rank third? It's hard to imagine the other students are even human.
Hachiman widened his eyes. "Aren't you insulting him too with that comment?"
Was Yukino's sharp tongue an area-of-effect attack?
"His science exam score is the highest in the grade. Didn't you know that?" Yukino wore a puzzled expression, as if asking why he would think otherwise.
"Wait? Science exam? Huh? What?" Hachiman felt his brain short-circuiting.
If he remembered correctly, Hayashida was in the same class as him, right? And he had definitely chosen the liberal arts track, hadn't he?
Why would the top science student be in his class?
"Class 2-F is the liberal arts class, right?" Hachiman asked uncertainly.
Yukino, as if also noticing the inconsistency, turned to look at Hayashida.
Hayashida calmly took a sip of tea and said, "That's right."
"If you're so good at science, why are you in the liberal arts class?" Hachiman, who was hopeless at science, couldn't understand at all.
"Hmm... The liberal arts class has a better cultural atmosphere?" Hayashida replied in an uncertain tone.
Hachiman thought about the countless cliques and popular groups in his class and posed a soul-searching question: "What's so good about it?"
"What's good is... well, there's Teacher Hiratsuka." Hayashida came up with a rather flimsy excuse.
"Are you an M or something?"
"Teacher Hiratsuka, you're here."
Hachiman, startled like a cat, jumped up from his chair and turned to look—but there was no sign of Shizuka. Hayashida had just tricked him, and his overreaction made him the butt of the joke.
To ease the awkwardness, Hachiman naturally did some stretching exercises, as if he had stood up specifically to loosen his muscles rather than because Hayashida had scared him.
Yukino smiled and said, "Don't worry, when Ms. Hiratsuka arrives, it's usually accompanied by a loud door-opening sound. If you didn't notice that, you might want to visit the hospital for an ear checkup."
Ouch, taking down two people at once.
Hayashida felt fortunate that, due to that car accident, he had temporarily gained immunity from Yukino's verbal attacks—otherwise, he'd really be in a sorry state.
"Anyway, I've got a grasp of your situation now."
"Stop using that doctor-like tone."
"Sorry, I've been spending a lot of time at the hospital lately."
Hachiman fell silent.
Hayashida, unfazed, continued, "A bit of a twisted personality, but surprisingly decent as a person. The dead-fish eyes are a bit off-putting, but you get used to them after a while. In summary, with a bit of training, socialization can be achieved."
"Omedetou," Yukino clapped enthusiastically, playing along.
"What does that mean? A personal attack?"
Hachiman felt that Ms. Hiratsuka dumping him here was nothing short of a violation of the Geneva Convention—a crime against humanity.