📘 Ne Job: Intern to the Divine
Chapter 2: "I Accidentally Approved a Cult and Now It's Trending"
Ne Job was halfway through sorting mortal submissions when they sneezed on a divine scroll.
The sneeze triggered a stamp. The stamp triggered a seal. The seal triggered a cosmic notification:
> ✅ Mortal Submission #CULT-404: Approved for Divine Engagement
Ne Job blinked. "Wait… I approved a cult?"
The scroll pulsed. A hologram popped up, showing a group of mortals dancing around a glowing Drop-kun plushie, chanting:
> "Blessed be the bun. May our engagement rise."
Ne Job panicked. "I thought it was a sticker pack!"
From the ceiling descended a glowing orb labeled "Audit Beacon." It screamed in angelic Latin.
> "Unauthorized worship detected. Deploy Assistant Yue."
A portal opened. Out stepped Assistant Yue, robes flowing, clipboard glowing, and expression already disappointed.
"Ne Job," she said, voice like a disappointed lullaby. "You've triggered a cult."
"I thought it was fan merch!"
Yue sighed. "You approved a mortal group that believes Drop-kun is the reincarnation of a divine pastry."
Ne Job looked proud. "Technically, that's creative."
"Technically," Yue muttered, "that's heresy."
She waved her clipboard. A divine projection appeared, showing the cult's activities:
- Weekly bun-blessing ceremonies
- A fanfic titled "Drop-kun: Savior of the Doughpocalypse"
- A shrine made entirely of expired cloud buns
Yue pinched the bridge of her nose. "We need to shut this down before Bureaucrat Xian sees it."
Ne Job gasped. "Who's Bureaucrat Xian?"
Yue shuddered. "Head of Divine Compliance. He once audited a rainbow for being too whimsical."
Suddenly, the Bureau's alarm system blared—a choir of disapproving angels.
> "Compliance breach detected. Deploy Bureaucrat Xian."
A scroll exploded. Out stepped Bureaucrat Xian, robes rustling like angry paperwork. He held a quill longer than Ne Job's lifespan.
"Who approved Cult #404?" he demanded.
Ne Job raised a hand. "It was an accident. I sneezed."
Xian narrowed his eyes. "Sneezing is not a valid protocol."
Yue stepped in. "We can de-escalate. The cult is small. Harmless. Mostly bun-themed."
Xian opened his scroll. "They've already submitted a theme song."
He read aloud:
> "Drop-kun, Drop-kun, fluffy and divine,
> Guide our memes, and bless our timeline."
Yue winced. "Okay, that's a little much."
Xian raised his quill. "I hereby issue a Divine Cease-and-Desist."
Ne Job panicked. "Wait! What if we rebrand it?"
Xian paused. "Rebrand?"
Ne Job grabbed a parchment and scribbled:
> "Drop-kun Appreciation Society: Not a Cult, Just Enthusiastic Fans."
Yue blinked. "That… might work."
Xian frowned. "It lacks formality."
Ne Job added:
> "Now with 30% less worship."
Xian sighed. "Fine. But you must file Form 88-B: 'Cult-to-Fanclub Conversion Request.'"
Ne Job opened the drawer. It exploded in confetti. "I think I lost the forms."
Xian groaned. "Beginner luck is not a filing system."
Yue stepped in. "I'll handle the paperwork. Ne Job, go distract the cult."
Ne Job nodded. "With what?"
Yue handed them a glowing scroll labeled "Mascot Override: Emergency Dance Mode."
Ne Job activated it.
Suddenly, Drop-kun appeared in the mortal realm—wearing sunglasses and breakdancing.
The cult gasped. "He moves! He grooves! He is real!"
Ne Job shouted, "Drop-kun says: No worship, just vibes!"
The cult paused. Then cheered. "Vibes! Vibes! Vibes!"
Xian watched the projection. "They've stopped chanting. They're now… vibing."
Yue smiled. "Technically, that's legal."
Xian sighed. "Fine. But if they start a podcast, I'm shutting it down."
He vanished in a puff of bureaucracy.
Ne Job collapsed into their floating chair. "Did I just save the day?"
Yue nodded. "By accident."
Ne Job grinned. "Beginner luck strikes again."
Yue handed them a new scroll. "Your next task: sort mortal dreams."
Ne Job opened it. A dream spilled out:
> "I want to marry a dragon who's also my manager."
Yue blinked. "That's… oddly specific."
Ne Job shrugged. "Sounds like a job for Ao Bing."
Yue groaned. "Please don't summon Ao Bing."
Ne Job reached for the scroll.
Yue tackled them.
Fade to divine static.