Lady Love flicked her tail dramatically.
"Step two completed."
Raj blinked. "Wait, there were steps?"
"Obviously," she said with a sparkly grin. "Step one — make you believe. Step two — introduce your heroines. And now…"
She twirled her paw like a showbiz queen. "Step three — introduction to your teammates! The legendary crew who will help create the best romantic comedy in existence!"
Raj blinked. "...There's a crew?"
Lady Love puffed up proudly.
"I have hand-picked only the best from every corner of the universe to form my perfect team."
Then she clapped twice.
"Alright everyone — like we rehearsed! Back into the mist, change your costumes, and enter the stage with style! Remember: first impression is last impression!"
At once, every creature around her vanished into the fog.
Raj just stood there, blinking at the empty courtyard.
"...She rehearsed their entrance? This woman's a maniac."
Lady Love lifted her paw. "Counting down… three, two, one — start!"
Drums and trumpets blasted. Mist swirled dramatically.
Out from the fog glided a little barn owl wearing a crimson bowtie and black waistcoat — riding a mini golden hoverboard shaped like a feather.
He swooped in slow motion, wings spread, monocle gleaming under the spotlight.
Landing gracefully, he adjusted his bowtie and puffed his chest.
"I am Mr. Hootsworth — Aerial Cinematographer and Personal Assistant of Lady Love!"
He flicked open one wing.
"I graduated from Celestia Academy of Fine Flights and Magical Photography, the number one university across all thirteen skies!"
A shiny gold medal gleamed in his feathers.
"I was top of my batch and awarded this for excellence in dramatic aerial angles!"
Then, with showy flair, he produced a golden drone and a tiny golden notepad and pen.
He looked smug enough to make Dumbledore jealous.
Raj extended a hand awkwardly.
Mr. Hootsworth shook it with the stiff dignity of an overqualified butler before gliding to Lady Love's side.
Lady Love clapped. "Wonderful! Flawless as always, Mr. Hootsworth."
He bowed deeply. "Naturally."
Lady Love smirked. "One goes down, now number two! Counting down — three, two, one, start!"
Drums rolled, trumpets sang, and a fluffy white cat strutted out of the mist wearing silver glasses and a scarf that shimmered like moonlight.
She flicked her tail elegantly.
"I am Fluffette — Cinematographer. Graduate of Celestia Academy of Fine Flights and Magical Photography, same as Hootsworth."
She held up her silver medal proudly.
"Perhaps I didn't get gold like some owl," she said, glancing sideways, "but mark my words — I will win Best Cinematographer in the next Divine Film Festival!"
Hootsworth sniffed. "Keep dreaming, dear. You still film with your lens cap on."
Fluffette's fur bristled. "Oh please — you film like you're allergic to close-ups."
Lady Love sighed. "Children. I adore civil war dramas, but not in my team."
Fluffette turned back to Raj.
"Apologies, dear protagonist. I dislike germs. Please sanitize before handshake."
She handed him a tiny bottle of sanitizer and a pair of gloves.
Raj blinked, obeyed, and offered a very awkward handshake.
Fluffette nodded approvingly and then marched to the opposite side of Lady Love — far away from the owl.
Lady Love purred. "Two down, number three coming up! Three, two, one — start!"
Boom! The trumpets flared again.
A chubby orange tabby burst from the fog riding a floating snack cart, munching biscuits and waving like a celebrity chef.
"I am Chonky Tabby — Sound Engineer and Snack Specialist for Lady Love!"
"I didn't study in fancy sky universities like them," he said between bites.
"I graduated from Munchester Institute of Magical Munchies and Musical Arts! No medals — but I'm the number-one snacks expert in all existence!"
Lady Love smiled fondly. "And that's why I chose you, darling."
Chonky Tabby jumped off the cart and bounded toward Raj.
Before Raj could react, the cat leapt into his arms and licked his face.
Raj froze, eyes wide. "Did — did he just kiss me?!"
Fluffette sighed. "Don't mind him. He's not from civilized society. Grew up in the wild."
Chonky Tabby didn't care. He just smiled proudly, waddled to Lady Love, and started munching chocolate cookies.
Lady Love chuckled. "Well, congratulations, Romeo. Your first kiss goes to Chonky Tabby."
Raj looked traumatized. "This is not how romantic comedies start."
Lady Love flicked her tail. "Three down, next is number four. Three, two, one — start!"
The drums began again, this time with dramatic action beats.
Out from the mist somersaulted a tiny grey kitten wearing a black martial-arts gi and red belt.
"I am Mittens — Action and Stunts Coordinator, and Bodyguard of Lady Love!"
He puffed up proudly. "I studied under Bruce Lee himself! I was his most favorite student."
Raj blinked. "Please don't lie. Bruce Lee never trained a cat."
Mittens froze. His fur puffed up; his eyes blazed.
"How dare you doubt me!" he shouted and launched himself at Raj.
WHACK!
Raj went flying backward, landing flat on the grass.
Mittens flicked his tail. "Let that kick be proof of my training. Master Bruce never revealed me because he feared I'd steal the spotlight."
Lady Love clapped daintily. "Excellent form. Good velocity. Stand beside me."
Mittens strutted back proudly, still glaring at the groaning Raj.
Lady Love raised her paw again.
"Our final core member! Three, two, one — start!"
Trumpets flared as a tiny pixie zipped in riding a shimmering bubble that kept popping and reforming, scattering glitter everywhere.
She waved cheerfully. "Hi! I'm Luna! I'm not a specialist like the others — I'm a multitasking assistant!"
She zipped around listing her jobs:
"I help Uncle Hootsworth with documentation, Aunty Fluffette with lighting, Uncle Tabby with snacks, and Big Brother Mittens at martial competitions!
Oh — and I help Aunty Love brainstorm crazy plot ideas! Also…" she giggled, "I'm her lovely niece!"
Then Luna darted to Raj, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and flew off giggling.
Raj blinked in disbelief. "Two hours ago I was a virgin. Now I've been kissed by a cat and a pixie."
Mittens hissed, tail flicking angrily. "That was my little sister!"
Lady Love chuckled. "Adorable! Kiss by male — checked. Kiss by female — checked.
You're starting this story with perfect balance, my hero."
She gestured proudly at her line-up.
"These five geniuses are my core team. Others may appear later, but these five are your permanent friends until our movie is complete!"
Before Raj could protest, the mist suddenly went wild, swirling out of control until no one could see.
Lady Love's voice floated through the fog.
"Luna… tell me you remembered to set the Mist Machine to automatic control."
Luna's nervous laugh echoed. "Hehe… sorry, Aunty, I forgot! But don't worry — I'll fix it!"
Everyone groaned.
Raj just stared blankly into the fog.
His brain had completely crashed, leaving one lonely thought looping in his head:
Before kissing a human girl, my first kisses were stolen by a tabby cat and a pixie.
He groaned softly. "At this rate, next will be an owl."
Author's Note:-
If you liked this chapter, please feed me—
I mean, give me snacks… I mean Powerstones!
You have no idea how much effort it took for my cat-like lazy brain and body to finish this.
This chapter is almost 1200 words long!
(Okay fine, it's 1155 words, but still—that's huge for a creature whose usual limit is 500-600 before a nap!)
So don't forget to feed your poor author some snacks—uh, Powerstones—if you enjoyed this comedy!
Because if I don't get my snacks, my cat brain might lose interest, fall asleep,
and forget this story ever existed.
Lady Love:"Feed the author, darlings. A starving cat writes no romance."