Raj stood frozen, his wet hair plastered over his forehead, staring at the pink cat like he'd just seen a ghost wearing sunglasses.
"This… this can't be real," he whispered. His voice trembled. "Either I've gone crazy, or Hogwarts just hired cats for a parade."
Lady Love tilted her head, her glossy sunglasses hiding her expression. Then she flicked her tail and said smoothly,
"Mittens, help him believe."
The tiny grey kitten immediately dropped his trumpet, eyes sparkling like he'd been waiting his whole life for this command.
"Yes, Director!" he squeaked and pounced toward Raj.
"Wait, no—AHHHH!"
Mittens swiped his paw across Raj's hand.
Sharp pain shot through his skin. Thin red lines appeared instantly, bright against the pale surface.
Raj yelped. "The cat attacked me! The cat actually attacked me!"
Lady Love calmly adjusted her sunglasses.
"Well," she said, "now he feels real pain. Step one: complete."
Raj glared at her, clutching his hand. "Step one? What's step two, feeding me to a dragon?"
But then he froze.
The red marks on his hand began to fade. The scratches sealed up, the skin smoothing as if it had never been hurt.
Raj blinked at his perfectly fine hand.
"Okay," he breathed, eyes wide. "Not a dream. Definitely not a dream."
Lady Love smirked, lowering her sunglasses.
"Congratulations, Romeo. As per your wish, you are now the main protagonist of my romantic comedy drama—the best creation of Lady Love."
Raj stared, still dripping rainwater. "Wait, what?"
Lady Love removed her sunglasses completely.
Her eyes gleamed like twin golden suns—warm and terrifying at the same time. When she smiled, it felt like the entire mist glowed around her.
"I grant wishes with style," she said. "And your wish? Oh, it's my favorite kind—tragic loser wants to be a rom-com hero. I love a challenge."
Raj blinked. "O-okay, but I also wished to be sent into a romantic world. So… which world are you sending me to?"
Lady Love blinked back, surprised. Then she burst out laughing, a rich, echoing sound that made the mist swirl.
"Oh, sweet summer boy," she purred. "You're already in the shooting place!"
Raj's eyes nearly popped out. "WHAT?!"
Lady Love stretched luxuriously, her tail flicking with amusement.
"Why not? This world has everything a romantic-comedy needs!"
She raised a paw like a director pointing at her stage.
"First, we have your childhood sweetheart—Lily Evans. Cute, emotional, and guaranteed to make audiences cry."
"Then her jealous elder sister, Petunia. Perfect for sister rivalry! My viewers love family drama."
Raj blinked. "Wait—what—"
Lady Love continued, unstoppable.
"Next, we have your best friend's fiancée—Narcissa Black. Forbidden romance, spicy and tragic! Excellent subplot."
"And of course, Bellatrix Black, the dark lord's biggest fangirl—crazy energy, perfect for that mid-season villain arc!"
Raj's mouth dropped open. "Bellatrix is NOT—"
Lady Love kept going.
"Andromeda Tonks, the elegant married MILF—perfection! MILFs are trending, darling! My views will skyrocket!"
"Then we have Alice Fortescue, Lily's best friend, already engaged to Frank Longbottom—instant love triangle potential!"
She clapped her paws together like a director who'd just discovered gold.
"Then, for our grand finale, we'll stage the epic battle—Gryffindor girls vs Slytherin girls. Drama, heartbreak, eyeliner, tears, love confessions in the rain—it'll break records!"
Raj stood completely still. His mouth hung open. His brain stopped processing words.
Lady Love looked at him proudly. "So you see, Romeo, this world isn't a tragedy—it's the perfect shooting set for my next blockbuster romantic comedy!"
Raj didn't respond. He just stared, unblinking, like a stunned statue.
The owl muttered from the side, "He's broken again, Director."
Lady Love sighed dramatically. "Mittens, fix him."
Mittens' eyes sparkled. "My favorite part!"
"Wait—NO—AHHHHH!"
Scratch!
Raj jumped two feet in the air, clutching his hand and screaming as the kitten proudly marched back to his position.
Lady Love smiled sweetly. "Good work, Mittens. Step two: completed."