Eight years old
Penny
Mommy says when life gets uneasy make it easy. I don't know what she means by this but every night when she tucks me in bed she tells me this.
Maybe one day when I am old enough to understand then she'll love me more. Even though she always does the mother-ly things (yes I've learnt this word today and I like how it slips through my tongue) like tucking me to bed, making me breakfast, dropping me off to school but she doesn't tell me she loves me or that she's proud when I do good in school. She is just distant. Always have been. That's why I know when I'll grow older she'll like me more. Because I'll be able to do all this on my own without her. I can make breakfast for her instead.
"Can we go to the park tomorrow after school?" I ask when mommy is about to leave the room after tucking me in.
"Sure" she mumbles without looking back and shutting the door behind her.
I sigh and count the stars on the ceiling from the galaxy lamp dad bought me. I love it. It helps me sleep. Normally when I get to twenty I'm already asleep. I dream about becoming a star and watching the world from above. I wish I could see a shooting star one day. Can you believe how awesome that would be?
After school mommy takes me to the park as she promised. I bump into a girl who is nice enough to play with.
I love swings. It makes me laugh but I can't get too high and that makes me angry. I ask mommy to push and help me float in the air and help me reach the sky as much as I can but she just stays sitting on the park bench looking down at her phone. Involuntarily my smile slips and just as I'm about to slip off the swing someone comes behind.
"Do you wanna fly, princess?" I turn to take a look and see a man with a smile. I like his eyes, they are green like the grass. I do want to fly but mummy says not to talk with strangers. They can be bad people and she wants to protect me from them.
"I'm not supposed to talk with strangers" I mumble. A little disappointed because I really do want to swing high.
He speaks with a nice smile that makes my belly uneasy- but not in a bad way- I want this with mommy too .
"You know you're right. How about I introduce myself to you." he then- the man with nice eyes- extends his hand and says "I'm JR"
I scrunch my face "That's not a name. Those are alphabets." I narrow my eyes and he laughs.
"You're right yet again little princess. But my name is short for James Ryder"
This time I shake his hand and smile up at him. "I'm Penny but my friends call me Penn"
"I think I like little princess" he winks and starts to swing me higher.
A burst of giggles and laughter escapes me as I hold onto the chains of the swing. Not wanting to fall off even though I know my new friend will save me.
"Penny, come on now. We've got to" mommy calls out as the swing comes to a stop.
Jumping off I ran to her "Mommy would you like to meet my new friend?"
She looks at me and I don't know why but she seems annoyed.
"Sure" her reply is dry but I don't let it bother me and run back to my friend, grab his hand and drag him with me.
"Come say hi to mommy"
"JR" mommy screeches in surprise. "How nice to see you" she laughs a little which sounds weird to me. I've never seen her laugh and the tone of her voice is really high and pinching my ears.
"Wow, how long has it been? Nine years?"
"Yeah, something like that," my new friend replies. "Listen I should probably get going, my niece is waiting." he tugs his hand loose. I didn't even notice I was still holding onto his hand. I feel empty all of a second and I don't like it.
"Yeah, sure. But how about we get together. I bet Lance would be happy to catch up too" mommy speaks with a genuine smile on her face. I've never seen that before and… it's beautiful.
With a pause "Sure, my number is the same just leave a text and let me know" is what James says and then backs away.
"Yeah I will" mommy replies and then we return home. I asked mommy again tomorrow to take me to the park and this time she smiled when I asked her, it made me happy how she smiled down on me. I was hoping to see my new friend again but he never came. We went again and again but in vain.
I felt sadder and sadder because no one would swing me and the joy I found going to the park was lost.
I heard mommy and daddy talking about having JR at home but he never came to the house nor to the park and that was the first time I had lost a friend.