Penny
Living can make you act so stupid sometimes. You go around and do things that are unreasonable as fuck (sorry but not so sorry about cussing) but at this point everything does seem to have a curse to it.
This night was not supposed to go the way it did. I was not supposed to go to the bar. I was not supposed to overshare and I sure as fuck was not so make a move on someone that was out off limits.
Like wayyyy out off limits. Like so out of reach that you can't even look after some distance. He should've been that invisible to me… and yet. It happened.
I couldn't stop my wandering hands and muffling words as my lips went to his neck.
I waited with baited breath for him to shut me like before but this time he didn't this time we let into the temptation.
The searing heat of our bodies, his molten gaze on mine. His hand enveloping me and controlling like no other. I haven't felt like this for anyone. Not the men- well boys- I've been with while thinking about him- (guilty) it felt too ineffable thinking about him in that sense but I couldn't help it. I couldn't be stopped.
I tried so hard to keep myself at arms length whenever around him but his presence has always drawn me in.
So much so that now it's too late to back out.
I'll beat myself up tomorrow. I promise, I will.
I'll even make myself regret if tomorrow, even though I want this night to be unregretful but beggars can't be choosers.
So I let go.