Fire. Smoke. Screams. And then... rain.
Yes, that pretty much sums up the tropical hell that day five has become.
The cause? Good question.
Who started it? No idea.
Why would someone burn the survival manual the school gave us? Excellent question. Maybe because it had too many rules and zero instructions on how to deal with dramatic classmates and egos the size of an island.
Peace lasted about as long as a "good morning" between hormonal boys and girls with better aim than patience. First came the insults. Then the shoves. And before anyone could yell "Stop!", fists, water bottles, and even a sandal were flying.
—"My tent!" someone shouted.
—"My dignity!" yelled another.
I just wanted my cookies.
And as if nature itself were watching the show with popcorn, it started to rain. But not a gentle, poetic rain. No. Rain level: "The universe also wants us to suffer."
The manual burned. The tents were in shreds. Morale hit rock bottom. And me, in the middle of it all, soaking wet, semi-traumatized, and fully convinced this island is cursed.
Someone get me out of here. Or at least bring me an umbrella and a psychologist.
...
Something interrupted my sleep.
—Mmm...
A sound, a movement, some sort of bear hug with fruity shampoo perfume. When I opened my eyes, I found... Sato.
Yes, Sato. That calm-looking girl who turns into an octopus-type Pokémon in her sleep.
—"It's hot... move," I murmured, trying to peel her off me like some human blanket-limpet.
But instead of moving away, Sato clung tighter. How on earth did she manage to get a leg on top of me in less than a second? Does she train for this?
—"Sato, you're so annoying..."
I gave up. Sleeping half-strangled is better than not sleeping at all, I suppose.
An hour later, just when I finally reached a deep, spa-worthy sleep...
—"Endo-kun... Endo-kuuun..."
A soft voice, right next to my left ear. So close it tickled... and for a second made me think I was dreaming about mermaids.
Spoiler: not mermaids.
—"Mmmh... what's wrong, Matsushita...?" I asked, half-asleep, wishing this were a bad dream.
—"I want to go to the bathroom."
Silence.
A simple sentence.
But heavy with drama.
—"And...? What does that have to do with me?" I huffed.
Now, dear readers, here's a fun fact: Matsushita, the girl who prides herself on maturity, confidence, and elegance...
...is scared. Level: "I'm not going to the bathroom alone at 3 a.m. even if my bladder is about to explode."
—"You can't go alone this time. I want to sleep..."
—"No," she said with an angelic smile, which really meant: "You're getting up, Endo-kun. Surrender."
I knew if I didn't accompany her, she'd nag me until daylight. And then blame me for any paranormal thing she saw on the way. So...
—"Alright, alright... but seriously, Matsushita, you need to overcome this fear," I said as we tiptoed among the tents like two sleep-deprived ninjas.
—"It's three in the morning, on an island in the middle of nowhere! What sane person wouldn't be scared, Endo-kun? Cut me some slack!" she snapped, just before entering the portable bathroom.
I sighed.
I thought about going back to sleep.
I thought about pretending to faint.
I thought about swimming to another island.
But in the end, I just stood there, staring at the stars and wondering if life hated me... or if it just adopted me into a collection of girls who can't sleep peacefully.
...
—"Too bad Horikita-san had to withdraw," Sato commented beside me, stretching lazily. "But well, it's understandable... she was seriously ill."
Yes. As you heard it.
At the end of day five, Chabashira-sensei informed us that Suzune Horikita was officially withdrawing from the exam for health reasons.
Ah, Horikita... I told you, didn't I?
You were going to end up leaving the test whether you liked it or not. But nooo, you had to be stubborn to the last breath. Even with fever, exhaustion, and a "I've seen death three times" look, you kept saying things like: "I can keep going. I just need to breathe... and maybe... faint for ten minutes."
That said, credit where it's due: her determination was admirable. Her sense of duty, unwavering. Her zombie-like face, unforgettable.
But now comes the real existential question:
Who the hell is the leader now?
I mean, Horikita had the leader card. And now that she withdrew for medical reasons—which, according to the manual, counts as a valid reason—that means someone else can take her place, right?
If she had left on her own will, like "I'm bored of surviving, thanks," then there would be no change of leader and we'd be screwed. But since her departure was for health reasons, the class can choose a new leader.
...Do they hold an official ceremony?
Do they pass the card to someone while epic music plays in the background?
Or do they just throw the card in the air and whoever catches it becomes the new leader?
Because if it's the last option, I'm not running even if they pay me—fair warning.
Eh? Surprised I know all this?
Well, when you're stuck on an island with no Wi-Fi, no video games, and surrounded by people fighting over energy bars, you read whatever's available. In my case, that was the AEU Survival Manual.
Spoiler: not bad.
More drama than a Venezuelan telenovela.
Although, of course, I'm too lazy to actually put it into practice. Reading is one thing... getting up to practice emergency knots is another story.
But anyway, today is the last day of the exam!
Finally... goodbye mosquitoes, heat, and portable bathrooms!
Hello air conditioning! Hello soft blankets! Hello bed without hidden rocks!
And most importantly...
Hello, privacy!
Sleeping alone, no sleepy girls hugging me at night, no secret bathroom missions. What a luxury.
Ah, and yes.
I want a piña colada.
Or two. I earned them