"Just my luck..."
Seriously, who starts a new life only to run into ghosts from the past on the very first day?
My reinvention as the brilliant and charming Kushida Kikyou was ruined before it could even bloom. The culprit?
Horikita Suzune.
No, we weren't friends. Not even classmates. We just went to the same middle school.
We never exchanged words, and yet... I'm convinced she knows.
Or at least suspects.
Because after that incident—yes, that incident—it's hard to imagine anyone passing through that school without hearing my name. Not for good behavior, of course. But it wasn't just gossip either. It was something more. For creating this perfect version of myself that everyone adores.
And just when I thought this new chapter would be a blank canvas...
Horikita.
And as if that weren't enough:
Ayanokouji.
And Endo.
Three people who've seen parts of me they shouldn't have.
Three failures.
Although, to be honest, the real problems are the first two.
Endo... well, he's not a threat. I'm sure of it.
Too confident? Maybe. But there's something about him—that mocking tone, that subtle smile when I treat him badly, those ironic comments when I throw a threat his way—that tells me he won't say anything.
Not because he's scared of me.
But because, even if he doesn't admit it... he likes me.
Yes, I know he likes me. And that's enough.
Who could resist me, after all?
In the meantime, I'll toy with the idea of keeping him close. Not out of affection, of course. It's just strategy.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, right?
Besides, Endo entertains me.
And in this school full of hypocrites, idiots, and narcissists... that says a lot.
...
"Cheers!"
—we shouted in unison, Matsushita, Satou, and I, raising our soda cans like champagne flutes.
We celebrated as if we'd won a national championship, when in reality... we'd just scored 88 class points on the last exam.
Sounds mediocre? Yes.
Is it a feat for Class D? Definitely.
"Can you believe it? Eighty-eight points!" said Satou, grinning like we'd gone from Class D to ultra-legendary Class SSS.
"Seriously, who would've thought the class of idiots could pull something off?" added Matsushita with a giggle.
"Hey, watch your mouth. I'm one of those idiots," I replied with a sarcastic smile. "An idiot who got a perfect score, by the way."
"Yes, yes! You studied too!" laughed Satou, nudging me lightly. "Though you mostly memorized everything like a parrot, didn't you?"
"Don't underestimate parrots. One of them could probably replace Sudou in the next exam."
We all laughed.
The truth behind this "miraculous academic victory" was as simple as it was absurd: Kushida had managed—through her angelic charms—to get the exams that the second-year senpais had taken in their first year.
The brilliant part?
They were exactly the same exams.
No changes.
Not a comma.
Not a single number tweaked.
We just had to memorize and perform them like a school play.
A show worthy of applause... if you ignore the fact that we didn't actually make any real effort.
"Think we should send a thank-you letter to the teacher for recycling questions?" I asked with feigned innocence.
"Or better yet, to Kushida-chan. Her ability to manipulate senpais with just a smile should be registered as a special talent," added Matsushita with malice.
"Well, I got the files too," I said.
"Seriously? What did you do? Promise a senpai you'd study with him and then ghost him?" asked Satou, laughing.
"Worse. I promised I'd be his girlfriend if he passed the exam."
"WHAT?!" they both shouted in unison.
"Relax, he still doesn't know I'm allergic to commitment."
We burst out laughing again, that mix of relief and nervousness from people who know they've only won a battle, not the war.
"Still," said Satou, taking another sip of her drink, "having points feels good."
"It's weird, right? Seeing the counter not in the red for once since we got here."
"I almost feel like part of a decent class... almost."
I looked at our empty cans and sighed theatrically.
"Well, let's celebrate while we can. Because if I know this school, the next test is going to make us bleed."
"More psychological traps? Betrayals? Impossible exams?"
"Yes. Or worse: having to work with Sudou again."
And right at that moment, as if we'd summoned him, Sudou sent a message to the group chat:
"LET'S GO CLASS D!!! We're the best!! 😎🔥🔥"
We all looked at the phone... then at each other.
"Well... at least he's got spirit."
"I just hope that enthusiasm doesn't fade when those 'mysterious special exams' arrive," I said, miming air quotes with my fingers.
"Mysterious? That sounds like 'we're going to ruin your life, but creatively,'" commented Matsushita, crossing her arms suspiciously.
"Exactly. According to some senpais, it's when the school stops smiling at you and starts showing its fangs," added Satou, grimacing.
"Well, at least we'll find out who were actors and who were actual students," I said with a crooked smile.
"Or who just came for the air conditioning," added Matsushita.
We fell silent for a few seconds, until another message popped up—this time from Ike:
"I'm ready for anything! Though I wish the exams came in the form of cute girls. 😘🔥"
We looked at the phone. Again.
"Confirmed. They're going to get eaten alive."
"Hopefully with fork and knife," I murmured.