Chapter 1 – In the Beginning, I Am Brahman
At the dawn of time, there was only Brahman.
The universe was a boundless ocean of chaos. Invisible, without features, beyond the senses. No life, no death. No existence, no non-existence. No day, no night. All was undifferentiated, all was one.
Yet within this primordial chaos, a supreme spirit already existed, self-born and eternal. Unknowable, nameless—but later generations would call it Brahman.
He was the origin of the cosmos—everlasting, unseen.
…
"Have I slept through another kalpa?"
Brahman—now calling himself Fanan—slowly opened his eyes. Before him stretched the endless, desolate ocean of chaos, dim and indistinct.
A kalpa was a word he had created in the void to measure time, the span between the closing and opening of his eyes.
He called it a kalpa because each closing of his eyes felt like a tribulation, a trial.
Two kalpas had passed since he arrived in this barren void.
The first time he closed his eyes, it was sudden. His body and spirit were drained in an instant, leaving him utterly hollow.
That slumber was deep and dreamless, born of sheer exhaustion.
The second time, he was prepared, yet even then his essence was drained away and he fell into sleep again.
Fortunately, a fragment of his spirit remained awake, and he saw many visions, dreamlike and illusory.
He saw his body transform into an endless ocean, while his spirit became supreme laws and divine order.
From that infinite sea, a golden egg emerged. After a long time, a strange four-faced, four-armed being was born, calling itself Brahma.
He watched as Brahma created the universe and all things—the gods, the races of living beings. He saw their evolution. And whenever the cosmos faced danger, that four-faced figure appeared, riding upon a great bird, to preserve universal order.
At last, he saw a three-eyed figure holding a trident, open his third eye—and destroy the universe…
Then he awoke.
All of it seemed like a dream.
But this dream was long—lasting an entire kalpa.
According to the system of time Brahma had set in the dream:
4.32 million years = one Mahayuga.
71 Mahayugas = one Manvantara.
14 Manvantaras = one day of Brahma.
A day and a night of Brahma = one full day.
365 such days = one Brahma year.
100 Brahma years = one kalpa.
Fanan recalled everything he had seen. From all signs, he reached one conclusion:
He had arrived at the primordial era of Indian mythology.
The good news: He was Brahman, the supreme spirit of chaos—encompassing all: the finite and infinite, the conscious and unconscious. All flowed from him and was under his authority.
The bad news: He could not control his own power. With every passing kalpa, his body and spirit would be emptied again.
Surrounded by dark, desolate void, the aura of emptiness pressed in on him.
He did not know when his eyes would close again, but he knew that unless he broke this unconscious cycle, he would fall into endless repetition.
The Upanishads described Brahman as formless, unconscious, invisible, eternal.
But clearly, that was a half-truth. He was conscious, visible, and had form.
"So the creation of Brahma… all of it draws on my strength. That is why I am weakened."
To break the cycle was simple: stop Brahma's creation.
Yet though he possessed the supreme power of spirit, he could not control it, and thus could not prevent Brahma's act of creation.
"If I cannot stop him, then I must divide my awareness, send it into Brahman itself, and seek the way to control it."
At that moment, a sound rang out—
"Om."
Ancient, pure, mysterious, as if it were the very first sound of the cosmos.
In that instant, Fanan felt his body hollowing again. His essence drained, his consciousness fading.
"Again?!"
He was stunned. How could the cycle return so quickly? He had only just opened his eyes!
Even if chaos had no calendar, surely an open-eyed kalpa could not be as short as a single blink.
He hadn't even had time to explore this barren void!
Pushing aside his frustration, he focused on preserving at least a fragment of consciousness within Brahman.
Suddenly, he recalled a line from the Upanishads:
"In the beginning, there was only the Self, the Atman. There were no other living beings.From this Self, the world and all creatures were created.At last, he split open his own skull, and through that door the Atman entered."
Fanan's thoughts sharpened. His main consciousness separated from his body. In his hand appeared a giant axe. Without hesitation, he struck his own skull.
Boom!
The chaos echoed with Brahman's sound. Brilliant light burst from the crack in his head as the Gate of Brahman slowly opened.
Fanan's consciousness entered within.
In that instant, his body and spirit transformed—becoming the formless, unconscious, boundless Brahman—and the cycle began anew.
…
The chaos of Brahman was empty, barren, desolate. Nothing but the endless cosmic sea.
No one knew how much time passed before Fanan awoke again.
And then, Brahman itself stirred. From the still waters bloomed countless lotus flowers, accompanied by resonant Brahmanic hymns.
It was as if the cosmos were celebrating the birth of its first conscious being.
"Hm?"
Now, Fanan had no physical form—only awareness. Yet if he had a face, it would have been frowning.
He had become the first conscious entity within Brahman.
But shouldn't the first conscious being have been Brahma, born from the golden egg?
Was he meant to create instead?
Although he had opened Brahman, he was left with nothing but a fragment of awareness—no divine power…
Wait. Power was being born.
As the first conscious being of Brahman, he was granted divine authority: the Power of Consciousness, becoming the God of Awareness.
Divine power came in two forms:
Authority / Dominion (rights of power).
The infinite unconscious force of Brahman's laws and order.
(Later, there would arise a third: the supreme power of Ascetic Practice.)
The authority he gained was only one aspect of the Soul's dominion. In other words, as the God of Awareness, he was technically just a subordinate of the greater Soul God.
But because his very essence was Brahman itself, supreme in rank, he was cut off from the hierarchy of the Soul's dominion—standing apart.
"Intermediate god power? That's it?!"
Fanan was speechless. With such meager strength, not only was he unfit to compete with Brahma for the right of creation—even the fifth-generation gods of the future would surpass him.
"Om—"
The cosmic chant resounded again. The ocean of chaos began to stir. Endless laws and orders manifested, evolving under the supreme spirit-force of Brahman.
New knowledge welled up in Fanan's mind, a revelation shared by his true self, Brahman.
"This is… the birth of the countless unconscious gods!"