"Chat group? I know, it's that thing that gathers loafers from every world."
"Usually it comes with quests, check-ins, files, red envelopes, even time travel."
"And the members are either girls, or cute girls. Basically you just open a harem."
Shiratori Riku opened the chat group, ready to have a good talk with his adorable, capable, sweet-talking girl pals. He loved chat groups most of all.
[Whitebeard: "Gurararara, this chat group sounds magical. Do you want to be my son?!"]
In the world of One Piece, Whitebeard Newgate had just digested the info about the group.
He laughed from the gut. To meet something so wondrous at the twilight of life was delightful.
That was the beauty of sailing the seas. You never knew what the next stop would bring.
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "You're old enough to be my dad, so how shameless are you to say that, old man?"]
Riku saw the trademark speech and instantly recognized him as Whitebeard from One Piece.
A mountain of muscle with a taste for leopard-print stockings who tried to make everyone his son.
[Whitebeard: "Brat, you've got quite the mouth!"]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Mouthy is right. If you've got a problem, come at me head-on."]
Riku knew he probably could not beat Whitebeard as he was now, but that did not stop him from talking big.
He could not fold here. There were only three people in the group so far. If he lost momentum now, how would he survive in the future?
[Whitebeard: "Gurararara, funny little ghost. No one's dared speak to me like this in a long time. I hope you're still this arrogant when my naginata is at your neck."]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "If I so much as blink, I'll call you Dad!"]
In the world of pirates.
Whitebeard roared with laughter at Riku's reply. He appreciated people with guts, so even this kind of talk did not anger him.
"Dad, what are you laughing at?"
At that moment, Fire Fist Ace walked over, curious at the sight of Whitebeard laughing.
"Nothing. I just ran into a very interesting fellow. A bit like you when we first met, only even more arrogant."
Whitebeard glanced down at Ace. Back then, this kid had been downright cocky.
[Uncle: "Ay-ya, what is this? Jackie, there's something unclean in the house, hurry back!"]
Meanwhile, in the world of Jackie Chan Adventures.
Uncle was tidying antiques in his old shop when the chat group yanked him in.
He spent over ten seconds absorbing the group's info, then immediately performed an exorcism on himself.
As a stubborn old-timer, he still could not grasp what a chat group was. He only felt like someone was talking in his head.
So he tried the exorcism first. When it failed, he called Jackie to hurry home.
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Another 'Dad'? You've got to be kidding me. Why am I the only young one here?"]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "I don't want to chat with a bunch of old men. I want to find girls."]
Riku felt this was nothing like what he had imagined. Weren't there supposed to be tons of girls? Why were they all old men?
One wanted to collect sons. One started with an exorcism. He was tired. He was ready to quit. Let the world burn.
[Whitebeard: "Gurararara, brat, when you become strong enough, women will come to you on their own."]
[Whitebeard: "If you aren't strong enough, even if you find someone you love, you won't be able to protect them."]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Huh? Why so serious all of a sudden?"]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Still, you're right. Strength is everything. Without it, all talk is empty."]
[Uncle: "Demons and monsters, begone. Demons and monsters, begone!"]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Uncle, stop chanting. We're not demons or monsters. Let me explain."]
Riku spent a long time explaining, with Whitebeard backing him up, before Uncle finally understood what a chat group was.
[Uncle: "Modern technology is such a bother. Writing letters used to be simpler."]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "Study, research, development, progress. That's the proper path. Clinging to old rules forever won't do."]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "I was researching fully automatic inner-elixir cultivation and a multi-elixir system. My master, that old fossil, said I was crooked-path."]
[Uncle: "Inner elixir and a multi-elixir system?"]
[I Am Not Crooked-Path: "In magic terms, it's like creating a spirit that learns, researches, and auto-casts."]
[Uncle: "You crooked-path rascal!"]