Years have passed, but some wounds never fade.
I still walk forward, still study, still smile with friends, still dream of a future.
But every now and then, I pause—
because I remember him.
The boy who lived in my phone, in my heart, but never in my arms.
People tell me it wasn't "real love."
That it was only a teenage mistake, a silly fantasy.
But if it wasn't real, why does it still hurt like this?
Why do my tears still fall when I see his name, when I hear the songs he once sent me?
The truth is—I loved him.
Deeply. Truly.
And I lost him before the world even knew we existed.
I carry that grief quietly, like a shadow stitched to my soul.
I know life will go on.
I know one day I'll be someone's wife, someone's mother, someone's everything.
But a part of me will always belong to him—
the boy I could never meet, the boy who taught me love, the boy who left too soon.
This diary is my only proof.
My only way of telling the world that this story isn't fiction, isn't fantasy.
This story is real.
This story is my life, my real life. The author's life.
And maybe, just maybe, in another lifetime...
I'll finally meet you, Rao.
And this time, I won't have to let you go.
Do you know you broke me twice?
The first was when you gave yourself to another girl.
The second was crueller—when you promised you'd come to see me... yet vanished, as if you never even existed.
Even if I searched every corner of this world, I'd never find you again.