"A miracle just happened! Snoopy just devoured the Memphis Tigers! He soared down like an eagle from the heavens, his giant palm mercilessly crushed the would-be No.1 pick's legendary dunk attempt! This is the second top prospect to fall under his hand, and if we count O.J. Mayo back from the group stage, he's officially completed a full sweep against this year's projected top three draft picks!"
Kenny Smith screamed from the commentary booth. His voice was nearly drowned out, because every fan in the arena was shouting at the top of their lungs: Snoopy! Snoopy! Snoopy!
"Snoopy looks absolutely majestic out there. That block will go down forever in NCAA history. Though…" Charles Barkley chuckled, "I doubt he likes how he looks right now. Those two red lip marks on his forehead are way too eye-catching. God knows why Miley Cyrus decided to wear such dark lipstick before she left home today! She probably never imagined her rumored boyfriend would turn into tonight's superhero."
"I actually think it's got artistic flair," Kenny Smith disagreed. "A tough man with flaming red lips on his forehead? That's avant-garde performance art."
Barkley shot him a look, clearly thinking Kenny's sense of "art" needed improvement.
Earl Johnson, unable to stand the banter any longer, hurriedly pulled the broadcast back on track. "Alright, let's refocus. We can see Snoopy being lifted high into the air by his teammates. Over there, Memphis head coach John Calipari has just shaken hands with Ben Howland in a show of sportsmanship before leading his players off the court. Confetti is raining down inside Staples Center as Memphis heads home to prepare for next season."
"Staples has descended into pure madness! The celebrities courtside are screaming their lungs out. This is the magic of the NCAA, the unique charm of Los Angeles, the City of Angels never lacks for starlight!"
"We can see Kobe Bryant standing and clapping hard. Beside him are Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak, Executive VP Jeanie Buss, and former UCLA star Jordan Farmar. Oh… and even Tex Winter's here tonight! Looks like the Lakers might have their eyes on one of these UCLA kids. Could it be Russell or Snoopy?"
"Alright then, let's take another look at Snoopy's game-winning block!"
As Earl Johnson spoke, ESPN switched to the replay.
Derrick Rose slashed through UCLA's zone like lightning, slicing into the paint, using Joey Dorsey's massive frame to shake off Luc Mbah a Moute. Snoopy stood to the side, seemingly left in the dust.
Rose raised the ball high in his right hand, ready to hammer it home, but just as he jumped, Snoopy suddenly pivoted, took two quick strides to chase him down. His steps weren't long, but his speed was shocking, as if he'd just multiplied it tenfold. When he reached Rose's side, he even paused slightly before launching upward, then smack! He slapped the ball off the backboard with terrifying force, sending it rocketing away.
"Snoopy wasn't as slow as we thought. Sure, the top prospect got careless, but from his sidestep to catching up to Derrick, it took him barely a second," Earl Johnson analyzed seriously. "So, I think it's time to bump up Snoopy's draft ranking again."
As Johnson made that suggestion to all the draft analysts watching, Snoopy, now back on the ground, walked over to Coach Ben Howland and hugged him.
"I'm really sorry for what I said at the end, Coach," he said sincerely. "I wasn't trying to go against you. I just wanted Derrick Rose to think we were doubling him, so he'd attack the rim directly instead of looking for another option."
"The good news is, we succeeded."
He said we, not I.
To be honest, Howland had felt a bit upset earlier. But when Snoopy came up, hugged him, and spoke so honestly, he couldn't stay mad. He swore this was the most emotionally intelligent player he'd ever coached. Any other kid who pulled what Snoopy just did would've strutted around like a peacock, bragging that they were the reason for victory, never caring about anyone else's feelings, least of all the coach's.
But Snoopy wasn't like that. His manners, his thoughtfulness, they made him impossible to dislike.
Patting Snoopy on the back, Howland said, "No need to apologize, son. You're the hero tonight. You saved this game."
"Though I have to ask, how were you suddenly so fast?"
That was the biggest question in his mind.
"Actually… I've always been fast," Snoopy replied with a half-smile. "It's just that my recent growth spurt messed with my coordination."
Howland nodded, finally understanding.
"Looks like your agility and balance are coming back too. Starting tomorrow, we'll ramp up full-court drills. No more of that weird upside-down balloon popping stuff. Your growth surge started after the Sacramento Invitational, right? Bob Lyon's methods clearly don't work."
As he spoke, TNT's courtside reporter approached, colorful suit gleaming under the arena lights, followed by several journalists holding recorders, including two from China.
Howland tactfully stepped aside. After all, tonight's true star wasn't him, but the man who tallied 8 points, 9 rebounds, and 5 blocks, Doug Snoopy.
"Hey, Snoopy!" said the reporter with a bright grin, it was none other than Craig Sager, TNT's most flamboyant sideline personality. "That game-saving block, how did it feel? You just became your team's savior, eliminating Derrick Rose's Memphis Tigers. How excited are you right now? Be honest, if I handed you a donut, could you swallow it in one bite?"
Sager was famous for his wildly colorful suits, a dazzling fixture in NBA broadcasts. Many players affectionately called him "Mr. Fancy Suit." His sharp wit and humorous interviews were legendary, especially his icy-hot back-and-forths with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, which always sent TNT's ratings soaring even after games ended.
Tonight, he faced Snoopy.
Snoopy wasn't known for cracking jokes, but his calm aura commanded attention.
He replied seriously, "If you can get the collective approval of UCLA's coaching staff, nutritionists, and fitness trainers, I wouldn't mind demonstrating how to swallow a high-calorie donut in one bite. Though, truthfully, I'm not as excited as you might think."
"Uh…"
That answer caught Craig Sager off guard. But, ever the veteran, he quickly fired another question: "So you're saying you're not excited at all? You just blocked the projected No.1 pick of the 2008 draft!"
"It's not that I'm not excited," Snoopy said earnestly. "It's just that my heart rate has already calmed down. The excitement vanished after Kevin Love, Luc Mbah a Moute, and Russell Westbrook threw me into the air for the fourteenth time. I didn't expect being a hero to be so dangerous, I was honestly scared they'd miss catching me."
"As for blocking the top prospect, actually, I already did that not long ago. Remember Michael Beasley? He made the Top 5 Plays that day because of it, though judging by his reaction, I don't think he enjoyed that honor very much."
Snoopy said it deadpan.
But the reporters around him couldn't hold back their laughter.