On the last day of 2022, grandfather passed away at the age of ninety-seven. Fortunately, Lin Yuhui went to visit him one month before his death, which was regarded as bidding farewell to the elderly man.
在2022年的最后一天,爷爷过世了,享年九十七岁.还好在他过世之前一个月,林语晖去看望过他,也算是与老人送别了.
If he could follow his own wish, he would stay beside grandfather every day, for he was brought up by his grandfather and grandmother. In his memory, his parents never stopped quarreling.
如果按着他自己的心愿,他恨不得每天陪在爷爷身边,因为他是从小和爷爷奶奶长大的,在他的记忆里父母就没有不吵架的时候.
He also wanted to accompany his daughter and pass on his life experience to her to help her avoid detours, yet he could do nothing, blocked by his parents right before his eyes.
他也想陪着自己的女儿,能把自己的人生经验告诉她,让她少走弯路,但是这一切都做不到,眼睁睁被他的父母阻断了.
During the lockdown period, Lin Yuhui learned a lot of information he had missed in his busy life through short video platforms, including life philosophies, world outlooks, as well as contents about traditional Chinese studies, Taoism and Buddhism. He had no religious belief, but he revered the laws of heaven. According to traditional concepts, he wondered what retribution this evil karma of severing family affection would bring in the future.
在封控期间林语晖通过短视频平台补充了很多之前人生中匆忙而错过的信息,人生哲理,世界观方面,国学道教佛教相关内容.虽然他没有信仰,但是也敬畏天道.按照传统观念,断人亲情这份恶业不知将来会怎样了结.
Lin Yuhui foresaw many things in life. He attached great importance to cultivating the ability to survive independently. Thinking of the possible situations in the future, he kept studying hard in his youth. He even fell in love in his finest youthful years, yet he could not make it work due to his personal and family conditions.
人生之中,很多事情其实林语晖都预料到了,比如个人生存能力的培养,他就很重视,他想到未来可能面对的形势,所以年轻时光一直在努力学习,甚至最美好的年少时光里也谈过恋爱,没办法,自身和家庭条件都不允许.
He also foresaw the problem of unstable work. While other parents strived to give their children a good start, he entered a construction enterprise which was inferior and mismatched with his major. After continuous efforts, he finally got a stable job.
他也预见了工作的稳定性的问题,别人的父母都是争取给孩子一个好的起点,自己却进了一个施工企业,档次低专业不对口,后来几经自己努力,现在工作终于稳定了.
He managed to solve all these problems concerning his life development. Though he went through numerous hardships, people around him offered no help and even hit him when he was down.
这些关于自己人生发展的问题,他都能解决,尽管过程中几经坎坷,周围的人没有援手反而落井下石.
What he could never let go of were the people he cared about. He clearly saw where they were heading, but he could only watch all this happen helplessly because they refused to listen to him. Perhaps this is everyone's destined fate.
但是最让他不能释怀的是他在乎的人,明明看到了他们的走向,他却只能眼睁睁看着一切发生,自己却无能为力,因为他们不听自己的话.或许这就是个人的命运吧.
He knew his father would catch a cold every year and pass it to grandfather, making the old man seriously ill. As grandfather grew older, his physical resistance faded. When the COVID-19 restrictions were fully lifted, he worried that grandfather's immunity could not fight off the virus. So he took hydroxychloroquine sulfate and azithromycin there in advance and told grandfather how to take the medicine.
因为他知道每年父亲都会把感冒传染给爷爷,并且很严重,爷爷也是年纪越来越大了,抵抗力不如从前.这次新冠疫情的最后放开,他就担心爷爷自身免疫力无法抵抗这种病毒,于是提前拿了硫酸羟氯喹和阿奇霉素过去,还告诉了爷爷怎么服用.
But grandfather did not take a single pill, and his father did not give the medicine to grandfather as he had instructed. The powerlessness of witnessing all this yet being unable to stop it turned into guilt and remorse for grandfather, as well as hatred and depression toward his parents in his heart.
但是爷爷没有吃一片药,父亲也没有按照自己介绍的给爷爷吃.林语晖心中的这种看到却不能阻止的无力感,只能化作自己内心对爷爷的愧疚和自责,对父母的恨与闷.
He knew grandfather had lived a full life. Lin Yuhui had longed to visit grandfather every day and chat with him to cheer him up, but he only received endless cold stares, accusations and abuse from his parents. In their eyes, if he did not give them money or bring them glory, he was guilty of heinous crimes.
他知道爷爷在那边活够了,本来林语晖是多么希望自己能每天去看看爷爷,陪他聊天解闷,但是只有父母无尽的白眼儿和指责谩骂.没给他们交钱,没给他们长脸,那就是十恶不赦.
Which parents would not give a hand when their children are in trouble and feel delighted when their children succeed? Unfortunately, there are such parents. They belittle and trample their children when they struggle, and suppress and slander them when they become better. They can only be said to come from the realm of hell.
谁家的父母不看自己的孩子有难处拉一把,有出息替他高兴?哎,就有一种父母看到孩子不行就上去一顿贬低再踩一脚,看到孩子比自己强了再打压诋毁.只能说是地狱道上来的吧.
Lin Yuhui had long known what his mother was like. When he got married, he hoped his widowed mother-in-law could live with them to prevent the family from being disturbed, but she refused. The result could be imagined.
曾经林语晖知道自己的母亲什么样,结婚的时候希望寡妇丈母娘能跟自己一起生活,免得这个家庭被搅和,但是对方没答应,结果可想而知.
He also knew his ex-wife was not very clever and easy to be fooled by people in society. The little money she earned was not worth it; it would be better for her to stay home and keep healthy.
他也知道自己的前妻不那么聪明,容易被社会上的人忽悠,挣那两个破钱还不如在家,有个好身体.
Eventually her mentality deteriorated. No matter how he persuaded her, she would not listen and acted unreasonably all day long. In the end, she suffered a heart attack and fell ill.
结果她的心态已经不好了,怎么劝都没用,成天作.终于自己心脏病发作病倒了.
It was just like the causal chain where the loss of a horseshoe nail led to the defeat of a crucial battle. He could only watch it happen with no way to change anything. People need to stay away from incompetent partners in life, yet some partners are not a choice.
有点像一枚马蹄铁钉缺失,最终输掉关键战役这样的因果链.眼看着发生但是无能为力.所以人生中要避开猪队友,怎奈有些是无法自己选择的.
The day when he attended grandfather's funeral turned out to be the longest time Lin Yuhui had talked with his daughter over the years, longer than the total time of their conversations in all past years. Naturally, he also caught COVID-19.
给爷爷送终那一天竟然是这些年来林语晖和女儿交谈时间最长的一次,比这些年加起来的时间都长.当然他也被传染新冠了.
He was cautious. Knowing the restrictions would be lifted, he took hydroxychloroquine in advance for prevention. Out of deep love for his daughter, he chatted with her for a whole afternoon even though he knew he would get infected. Perhaps he did not want his daughter to go through the illness alone.
他很谨慎,知道要放开了,提前吃了羟氯喹预防,怎奈爱女心切,明知会被传染还聊了一下午,或许是他不想让女儿孤单得病吧.
Lin Yuhui truly experienced the power of this virus this time. Although the fever was quickly relieved by medicine, he found the virus greatly drained his body, as if body cells were severely consumed. The virus lingered inside the body, and he wondered if it had integrated into human DNA. Symptoms recurred in April.
这一次林语晖领教了这个病毒的威力,虽然通过服药迅速消除了发烧症状,但是他发现这个病毒极大地消耗了身体,好像身体细胞被极大消耗了,并且还能残留在体内,不知道是不是已经嵌合到人类DNA之中去了,以至于四月份又有些发作苗头.
Lin Yuhui found that suppressing this virus required twice the dosage he used to prevent common colds. The virus attacked various organs of the body, causing a series of new symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, diarrhea and excessive flatulence.
林语晖发现抑制这个病毒需要双倍于自己之前预防普通感冒的服用量,而且它会侵袭身体各器官,有了一系列疲劳,失眠,拉肚子,屁多等之前没有的反应.
Later, he luckily came across a traditional Chinese medicine prescription, Zhigancao Decoction recommended by Master Ni online, which cured his insomnia caused by adverse cardiac symptoms. He sorted out his experience and posted it online to share with the public.
后来多亏自己网上刷到倪师的中药方,炙甘草汤,才解决了自己心脏反应造成的失眠问题.于是他把自己的经验也总结了一下发到网上分享给大众.
After his family repeatedly refused to take his advice, he did not hold high hopes and just let those who were destined to see it read the post. Unexpectedly, his sharing aroused a strong response from netizens, and many sent private messages to communicate about their symptoms.
经过了一系列自己家人都不愿意听从自己意见之后,他也没想太多,就当是有缘人见吧.结果自己的经验分享发出去之后网友反响强烈,好多私信来交流自己的症状.
Seeing that he could help more people, Lin Yuhui became enthusiastic again. Sometimes he replied to too many messages from netizens and got muted. It did not matter, for he owned multiple accounts, and he pinned the experience post to the top of every account.
看到能够帮助更多人,林语晖的热情也上来了,有时候以至于回复了太多网友的消息自己都被禁言了.没关系,就是号多,他把经验分享给每一个号都挂上了顶置.
In this way, he spent days offering mutual help and recuperating his health. It seemed that there was nothing else worthy of attention in 2023. He quit the battle royale game, because his usual teammates never logged on again. Perhaps they went out to look for jobs after the lifting of restrictions. The occasional matches he joined were full of student players. Later, even those student players disappeared. Once he chatted casually with a player in the game, but his words somehow offended the other party and he was reported. There was no point in playing anymore, and the game became completely silent.
就这样在互助与调理身体中,似乎2023年再没其他什么值得关注的内容了.吃鸡游戏也不玩了,因为合得来的队友也都不上线了,也许是放开了都出去找工作了吧,偶尔开几局游戏都是小学生队友.到后来小学生队友也没了,似乎那一伙人来到了吃鸡游戏,聊个天,说个话,不知怎么戳了她的肺管子就被举报了.那还玩个屁啊,游戏里面一片死寂.
With no games to play and no suitable partner to meet, his lonely heart was calm yet still longed for someone to care about, to end its wandering. As a great philosopher once said, "When I needed women, I could not afford them; when I could afford them, I no longer needed them."
游戏不能玩了,找对象找伴侣也没有合适的,孤寂的心虽然平淡安然,却还是总想找一个牵挂所在,让它不再漂泊.正如一位大哲学家所言,"当我需要女人时,我养不起她们;当我养得起时,我不需要了."
It was the winter vacation of 2023, and his daughter was about to take the senior high school entrance examination. While tutoring her, his mother mentioned his ex-wife and suggested they get back together. If you had not meddled in our affairs back then, we would never have divorced! How dare you talk about reconciliation now? What's more, his ex-wife betrayed him when he was in the hardest time. Anger flared up inside Lin Yuhui, and he retorted sharply at once.
2023年寒假女儿要中考了,给她补课的时候母亲提起了他的前妻,说什么复合.妈的当初你不搅和我俩能离婚吗?现在他妈你还有脸说复合?再说前妻在自己最难的时候背叛了自己,林语晖脑瓜子都要着火了,一句就给顶回去了.
Returning home alone, he thought about his daughter who had grown up and drifted away from him, and recalled the past silently. Raised under such influences, his daughter would probably not take care of his ex-wife in her old age. The girl's way of thinking was becoming more and more similar to theirs, and there was no way to change it.
独自回到家中,想想已经渐渐长大远离自己的女儿,林语晖暗自回想过往.被他们影响长大的女儿估计在前妻老了的时候也指望不上,这孩子已经从思维上越来越像他们了,无药可救了.
He even thought about adopting a daughter. Life was hard in recent years. News was full of stories about young children committing suicide with their mothers, or children collapsing under life pressure, falling ill, passing away or taking their own lives when they could not count on their parents. He was capable of raising a child, yet he never met such a child.
要不自己收养一个女儿吧,这两年大形势不好,新闻里有多少年幼孩子随母亲自杀的,自己父母指望不上被生活压垮或者病逝或者自杀的,可是自己有能力抚养却遇不到.
(Translated by Doubao AI)