Lin Yuhui was playing a battle royale game, third-person perspective, following behind a teammate. His playstyle was all about fighting and killing — nothing like himself. Whether in the game or out, Lin Yuhui avoided conflict whenever possible, focusing on completing objectives.
林语晖玩着吃鸡游戏,第三人称视角,跟在一个队友的身后.他的游戏风格就是打打杀杀,不像他自己,林语晖不论在游戏内外都是能不冲突就避免,完成目标为主.
But this version of the game wasn't gory at all, more like a cute pet version of a battle royale. The bullet trajectories were just arcs, the bullets flying out like tag charms, and all the characters were in ancient costume. Haha.
但是这个游戏版本的风格并不血腥,好像吃鸡游戏的一个萌宠版本,弹道就一个弧线,子弹就像飞出去的标签符咒一样,人物都是古装,哈哈哈.
That teammate was greedy, always killing people to loot items. You can really tell a person's character from how they play games — some like interacting with teammates for fun, some are extremely selfish and don't care about their teammates at all, some get a thrill from aggressive combat, and then there are those who show endless greed even for virtual items. This teammate was that type.
那个队友很贪婪,总是杀人捡道具.玩游戏完全可以看出一个人的品性,有的喜欢与队友互动娱乐,有的就是极度自私完全不顾队友,有的积极对抗满足爽感,还有的就是对于虚拟的物品都会表现出无尽的贪婪,这个队友就是这种类型.
The last time his character was looting, he saw someone else shoot him down in the background. Game over.
最后一次他操作的人物捡道具时,在背景中看到别人射杀了他,游戏结束.
But Lin Yuhui realized he was still stuck in the game. So he started looking for the exit screen — different screens looked like different virtual rooms. Finally, he exited through a big door.
但是林语晖发现自己还困在游戏里啊?于是他就开始找退出的界面,不同的界面就是不同的虚拟房间的样子,最后他从大门退出了游戏.
Walking out the door, he found himself on a street lined with red-brick single-story houses with courtyards, a narrow alley between them. Outside, snow and wind were raging. Lin Yuhui turned right, not knowing where to go, just wanting to wander and see. But the sky darkened rapidly.
走出大门,是两侧是红砖建筑的平房,那种带有院落的老宅,两侧的人家中间夹着一条胡同,外面风雪交加,林语晖出门右转,不知道怎么走,想走走看,结果天迅速变黑.
He thought, isn't this going to freeze me to death out here? He hurried back to find the door he'd just come out of, but couldn't find it.
他想,这不是要被冻死在外面吗,赶紧往回走想找到刚才出来的门,结果找不到.
This game was a scam — it wouldn't let you quit. So he blindly fumbled around, feeling the keyboard with both hands, using task switching and restarting to force his way out.
这个游戏是流氓游戏,不让人退出,他就盲操,双手摸着键盘用切换进程和重启的方式退了出来.
That's when Lin Yuhui realized he was sitting in front of a computer at his aunt's place. She'd rented the house to a photo studio, and people were coming and going all the time. They often did makeup and took sample photos for their employees.
这时候林语晖发现自己是坐在电脑前,地点是姑姑家,她的房子租给开影楼的了,很多人进进出出,他们也经常给自己的员工化妆拍样片.
He didn't want to disturb anyone, so he prepared to pack up his things and leave. But he was a normal guy, after all — he couldn't help glancing at some of the women, though he didn't stare, and didn't really see clearly either.
他不想打扰别人,就准备收拾自己的的东西离开.但是他也是正常的男性啊,也会瞟两眼其中的女性,但是没盯着看,也没看清.
Then a woman said to him,
"Don't look at me. I'm old enough to be your big sister."
结果有个大姐跟他说,
"别看我,我是你大姐级的人物了,"
Lin Yuhui thought to himself: you can't tell my age from my looks, can you?
林语晖心想,外貌看不出我的年龄吧?
Just then, a young girl hugged him from behind. She was rather petite, with a pointed chin, and her hair seemed to have a natural wave to it.
这时候,有个年轻女生从背后抱住了他,这个女生长得比较娇小,尖下颏儿,好像头发还有点天生羊毛卷.
The people around started teasing, joking and chatting all at once:
"Hey, there are people all around, everyone's watching."
"Yeah, you're just a young girl."
此时周围的人就开始起哄了,大家开玩笑,七嘴八舌地说,
"哎,周围可都是人,都看着啦."
"是啊,你一个小姑娘家的,"
The implication was: if he rejects you, see how you save face.
那意思就是说她,你要是被拒了看你怎么下得来这个台阶.
She hugged even tighter. Lin Yuhui could feel her chest and lower body pressed against him. He turned to look at her, gently took her hand — it felt very cold. He wondered: is she a ghost?
这时候她抱得更紧了,林语晖能感觉到她的胸和下身都靠在了自己的身上.便回头看看她,轻轻拉住她的手,觉得很凉,心想她是不是鬼啊?
But he didn't sense any malice from her. Why refuse a kind gesture? Lin Yuhui wrapped her hand in his own.
但是又没觉得她是恶鬼,为什么要拒绝一个善意的举动呢.林语晖就把她的手捂在自己的手里.
Then everything changed. Sunlight, green grass. Beside a stretch of railroad tracks, Lin Yuhui felt like he'd returned to his childhood, playing with his pull-back toy car. The car got stuck on the tracks, its wheels spinning uselessly.
然后一切都变了,阳光明媚,绿草茵茵,在一段铁轨边,林语晖仿佛回到了他的童年,在玩他的玩具回力车,车卡在了铁轨上车轮空转.
He stopped playing and walked with the girl. She seemed like a different person now — taller than Lin Yuhui, with a round face, no longer slender, her thighs and waist full and soft.
他不玩了,和那个女生一起散步,这时候她好像换了个人,似乎比林语晖还高点,圆脸,也不是纤细的身材了,大腿和腰肢也比较丰满.
Instead of holding hands, they walked side by side, his hand resting on her hip. They were on a path through lush grass, flanked by dense vegetation.
林语晖也不是和她拉手了,而是并排,把手搭在她的胯上.这是一条芳草间的小道,两边是郁郁葱葱的各种草本.
There were people on the path, men and women. Since Lin Yuhui wanted to talk to her, he looked for somewhere quieter, so they kept walking. After this stretch came a downhill slope — a brick wall on the right, a small river on the left, the water rushing forward, merging into the bend of the Songhua River ahead. It seemed to be around Jiuzhan.
小道上有些人,男男女女.因为林语晖想和她说话,就想找个相对安静的地方,于是就和她一直往前走.过了这一段以后是一个下坡,右侧是砖墙,左侧是一条小河,河水向前奔流,在前方并入松花江的湾流,似乎是九站那个位置的.
By the water, the girl suddenly slipped and fell. Lin Yuhui rushed to pull her out, his own back getting soaked.
在水边的时候那个女生突然滑倒了,林语晖急忙把她从水中拉起来,自己的后背也湿了.
In an instant, his subconscious flashed a flood warning. For safety, he suggested they head back, to higher ground.
一瞬间,突然他的潜意识里有洪水风险.为了安全就提议和她往回走,上地势比较高的地方.
A narrow dirt path, less than a foot wide, with an old concrete utility pole standing by a wall near some buildings. Lin Yuhui helped her climb up along the pole first, standing on the roof of a single-story house with a short parapet wall.
乡间人们踩出来的小径,没有一尺宽,路边矗立着一个陈旧的水泥电线杆,在围墙,房屋建筑旁边.林语晖扶着她,沿着电线杆先上去,站到一个房顶上,一层的平房,房顶有短墙.
But when Lin Yuhui climbed up to the roof and was about to step over the short wall, the utility pole started to sway. He tried to keep his balance, but it gradually toppled toward the other wall.
但是当林语晖自己爬上去到房顶,准备迈过短墙的时候,电线杆开始晃了,他尽量保持平衡,但是它还是逐渐倒向另一侧墙边.
Lin Yuhui reacted fast — he was about to push the pole away, using the reaction force to spin backward and grab the wall with his arm. But in that split second of planning, someone walked through the air and pulled him back. Lin Yuhui looked at her in shock, but said nothing.
林语晖手疾眼快,准备顺势推开电线杆,利用双臂推出的反作用力,身体向后转身飞过去,抓住这个机会用胳膊挎住墙头.但是就在脑海规划的一瞬间,那个人从空中走过来把他拉住了,林语晖很吃惊地看着她,但是什么也没说.
"Unit 1, Unit 2, get ready to come downstairs. Wait for the back building to finish, then you can start nucleic acid testing…" The loudspeaker outside woke Lin Yuhui from his early morning sleep.
"一单元,二单元的准备下楼了啊,等后楼完事你们开始核酸采集..."窗外的大喇叭喊声把林语晖从清晨的睡梦中唤醒.
As the saying goes: what you think about during the day, you dream about at night. But he hadn't been daydreaming that much — saving the beauty was one thing, but this time it was the beauty saving the hero.
俗话说,日有所思,夜有所梦.但是他还不至于想美事到这种程度,英雄救美都不算什么了,这回是美人救英雄.
He just thought the dream was interesting. But then again, who wouldn't want a loyal, pleasing companion? Science already talks about parallel universes, and quantum theory plus many near-death experiences confirm that people might have souls. He wondered: could dreams be experiences from another space?
他只是觉得这个梦很有意思.不过话说回来,谁不希望有个忠诚悦目的伴侣呢.科学上已经有平行空间的说法,量子理论和许多濒死体验也证实人可能有灵魂.他也在想,梦是不是自己在另一个空间的体验呢?
The days of self-quarantine were simple — cook, work, then after work, play battle royale or scroll through Douyin for fun. Though living alone was free and happy, he still hoped to find a partner. Only he always played a little clever when doing things, and scrolling Douyin was no exception.
自我隔离的日子很简单,做饭吃,然后工作,然后下班,开始玩吃鸡游戏或者刷抖音娱乐.虽然一个人的生活很自由快乐,但是他也希望能找到自己的伴侣.只不过他做事情的时候总会耍一点小聪明,刷抖音的时候也不例外.
When he'd scroll to videos he liked — typically positive content, like Zeng Shiqiang's Chinese classics lectures — he'd leave comments in the comment section looking for a partner, letting Douyin's big data help filter for him.
他会在刷到自己喜好的推送视频的时候,典型的正向内容,比如曾仕强的国学等的,在留言区留言找对象,让抖音大数据顺便帮他筛选.
But what he didn't expect was that everyone who contacted him was someone he couldn't stand. No surprise — the people he liked wouldn't like him back anyway.
但是,让他失算的是联系他的人都是他看不上的,不奇怪,他能看上的人家也看不上他呀.
His dating pool consisted of either knowing older sisters who'd been divorced for years and slept with who knows how many men, or shrewd younger women preparing for divorce and looking for backup plans. The result was that on top of Lin Yuhui's emotional cleanliness, it triggered his moral cleanliness too. How to block these people concisely? Simple — he changed his account nickname to "Looking for a virgin wife."
相亲图谱除了是离了多年不知交往了多少男人的知心大姐,就是筹备离婚中找备胎的精明老妹儿.结果就是,在林语晖的感情洁癖之上,又激发了他的道德洁癖.怎么言简意赅地挡住这些人呢?很简单,他把自己的账号昵称改成了"找处女做老婆".
Lin Yuhui's original plan was to filter for women with their own values and rational thinking, who'd appreciate a man with standards, who'd talk openly about their past, face it honestly, then discuss a shared future — serious and responsible. But no one like that showed up.
本来林语晖设想的是筛选有自己价值观,有理性认知的女人,会喜欢有洁癖男人类型的,会和他谈自己的过去,坦然面对,然后讨论共同的未来,认真负责.但是没有.
Everyone he met just asked, "Are you a virgin?"
他遇到的都是上来就问,"你是处男吗?"
Damn it — had these people never watched Animal World growing up? Had they watched too much Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf? Or had they binged too many domineering CEO novels and dramas — the domineering CEO falls for an older me, the domineering CEO falls for a divorced me, the domineering CEO falls for a divorced me with kids, the domineering CEO falls for a twice-divorced me with two kids, the domineering CEO falls for a menopausal me working as a cleaner.
麻辣隔壁的,这些货都是从小没看过动物世界吗?都是喜羊羊灰太狼看多了?要不就是霸总小说电视剧看多了——霸总爱上大龄的我.霸总爱上离异的我.霸总爱上离异带娃的我.霸总爱上离异带俩娃二婚的我.霸总爱上绝经做保洁的我.
Ignorant fools defying the natural order — Lin Yuhui didn't bother explaining the truth of the world to them. Those with delusional confidence, so drunk on flattery they'd lost all sense of direction — tell them the truth and they'd just curse you. Everyone has their own karma. But Lin Yuhui wouldn't let their arrogance go unchecked. He'd land a few well-placed retorts, and whether they'd listen and wake up to how poisoned they'd been was up to their own fate.
无知鼠辈,逆天道行,林语晖也懒得给她们讲道理,告诉她们世界的真相.那些迷之自信的,被吹捧的找不到北人,你告诉她真相她反而会骂你,人自有因果.但是林语晖也不会放纵她们眼下的嚣张,会画龙点睛地怼她们两句,能不能听进去幡然醒悟自己之前被毒害了,就看她们的造化了.
Sure enough, a few days later, karma caught up with Lin Yuhui's account — banned from commenting for a week. Someone had reported him.
果然没过几天,林语晖账号的因果就来了,禁言一周,不知道被谁举报了,
"Heh," he laughed it off, put down that phone, and picked up another one. He stocked up on food — didn't he also stock up on accounts? Plenty of them. The alternate account he switched to read: "Looking for an alien female partner."
"呵呵,"他一笑置之,放下这个手机,拿起来另一个,储备粮食的他,难道就不储备账号吗?很多很多,换的另一个账号是,"找女外星人伴侣".
After half a lifetime of hardship, what in this world, and among the people in this world today, was there that he hadn't seen through? An ideal partner who met his standards — you couldn't say she didn't exist in this world, only that the probability of ever meeting her was essentially zero. And besides, his own conditions didn't match up anyway.
经过半生的坎坷,这个世界,和当今这个世界上的人,还有什么是他没有看透的呢.能够符合他的标准的理想伴侣不能说这世界上没有,只能说根本没有相遇的概率,再说自己的条件也配不上.
Of course, the standard of measurement was Earthling standards, naturally. A woman who could be young and pure-hearted, sincere and kind, who valued personal spiritual depth — that was probably something only an alien could manage. In this great dye vat called Earth, it simply could not exist.
当然了,这个条件的衡量标准当然是地球人的了.能够年轻纯情,真诚善良,看重个人精神内涵的女性,恐怕也只有外星人能做到了,地球这个大染缸里是断断不能有的.
（Translated by ERNIE Bot）