It seems that once the scar heals, one forgets the pain again. When written confession is about to become the new normal, but she can't,
似乎,好了伤疤就会再一次地忘了疼,当文字倾诉又要成为新常态,但是,她不行,
Letter Eight from Sinosteel Compound
中钢大院情书之八
October 25, 2021 (Monday) 13:49
2021年10月25日 (周一) 13点49分
Continuing from last time, let's talk about the artistic style, the realm of literature and art, abbreviated as "yi fan'er". We were very deprived when we were young in that era, both in terms of material food and spiritual nourishment. The only media I was exposed to in elementary school was the radio. Although there was a TV, I was too young to know how to use it. So I would finish my homework at school after class, then go home and listen to the radio. In the 80s, Richard Clayderman's piano pieces were very popular. He was quite famous, with several pieces like "Ballade pour Adeline," "A Comme Amour," and "Starry Night." Of course, there were some I also thought were quite good, like "Seaside Starry Night," "Afternoon Journey," and "Secret Garden." There was also Paul Mauriat's light music, the most famous being "Pearl of the Aegean Sea." It's strange, now I find it very noisy, but there was one piece I didn't like at the time, "Toccata," which years later, when I heard it again, had a completely different feeling (not long before meeting you). What I mentioned before is easily available on QQ Music. The radio back then also had film audio clips characteristic of that era — they would edit film soundtracks and add narration to turn them into radio programs, limited by the broadcasting conditions of the time. I remember very clearly there were "Zorro" and "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." And due to time constraints, classical music was also introduced, but only in fragments for appreciation. For example, Beethoven's "Fate," "Hungarian Dance No. 5," "Toreador March," "Carmen," and Dvořák's "From the New World." Besides symphonies, there were also violin concertos, but in that era, mentioning "violin concerto" was equivalent to "The Butterfly Lovers." This was also one reason I didn't like the violin at the time — the piece was disgusting, and combined with the sound playback equipment and the entire radio system back then, the sound quality was terrible, leaving only squeaks and crackles. Actually, Chen Gang had a piece called "Sunshine over Tashkurgan," which was quite good. Also, in the 80s there was a Silk Road documentary, with a music suite composed by Japanese musician Kitaro using synthesizers, which was also very distinctive.
接着上期谈文艺范儿吧,文学艺术范畴,简称艺范儿.我们那个年代小的时候很贫乏的,无论是物质食物还是精神食粮,我上小学的时候所接触的媒介就只有广播,虽然有电视,但我还小,不知道怎么用.所以放学都是在学校就写完作业,回家我就会听广播,80年代那时候正流行理查德克莱德曼的钢琴曲,他比较有名,几首比如"水边的阿迪丽娜","秋日的私语","星空",当然还有一些我觉得也不错,比如"海边星空""午后的旅行""秘密的庭院",还有保罗莫利亚（Paul Mauriat）的轻音乐,最有名的"爱琴海的珍珠",很奇怪,现在觉得很喧嚣,而当时我不喜欢的,有一首"托喀塔",多年之后再次听到却别有一番滋味在心头（不久的遇到你之前）.前面说的在qq音乐上很容易获得.那时候的广播还有当时时代特色的电影录音剪辑,就是把电影音轨剪辑加入解说变成广播节目,限于当时的传播条件.我记得很清楚有"佐罗","巴黎圣母院".
而限于时长,古典音乐也有介绍,但只是片段欣赏.比如贝多芬的"命运","匈牙利舞曲第5号","斗牛士进行曲","卡门",德沃夏克的"自新大陆".除了交响乐也有小提琴协奏曲,但是那个年代一提到"小提琴协奏曲"=="梁祝",这也是我当时不喜欢小提琴这一乐器的一个原因,曲子恶心死了,加上当时声音播放设备以及整个广播体系的原因,音质太差了,只剩下吱吱嘎嘎.其实陈刚有一首"阳光照耀着塔什库尔干",很不错的.另外80年代有一个丝绸之路的纪录片,日本喜多郎合成器配的音乐组曲,也很有特色.
Speaking of the misguidance in this world, it also includes the textbooks taught in school, while the truth is something you discover on your own. I remember once in elementary school music class, we appreciated Tchaikovsky's works, "Barcarolle" and "The Sleigh." I remember very clearly that the illustration at the time showed two children sledding, with some explanation about being filled with children's happy laughter — were they fooling Northeast kids who didn't know what playing on a sleigh in winter felt like? That Barcarolle was very beautiful, the notes like ripples stirred on the water surface by oars, and the gentle melody like the quiet, deep, vast river shaded by lush trees on both sides. It's just that I could never connect that Sleigh piece with children and any kind of happiness.
说到这个世界的误导,也包括学校里教的教材,而真相都是自己去发掘的.我记得小学有一次音乐课,欣赏柴可夫斯基的作品,"船歌"和"雪橇".我记得很清楚当时的配图是两个小朋友滑雪橇,还解释什么洋溢着小朋友的欢快笑声,是糊弄东北小朋友不知道冬季玩雪橇是什么感觉吗?那首船歌很优美,音符如同船桨搅动水面泛起的阵阵涟漪,而舒缓的旋律则宛如两侧郁郁葱葱树木掩映之下那静谧深沉的泱泱河水.只是那首雪橇我无论如何也联系不上小朋友和什么快乐.
Until one day more than ten years later, I saw a tapestry in a mall — on a dark, snow-covered street, the streetlights were dim, only the wooden houses by the roadside emitted a yellowish light, giving a hint of warmth. On the street where dusk was approaching, a white horse was pulling a sleigh, still on the way. At that moment I suddenly understood — the "sleigh" was actually a mode of transportation. Instantly, the sorrow of parting, the joy of reunion, and all the hardships and hopes along the way leapt across my heart. Not just a road of ice and snow, but also the road of life.
直到十多年后的有一天,我在商场中看到一幅挂毯,阴暗的冰雪覆盖的街道上,街灯昏暗,只有路边的木屋泛出昏黄的灯光,给人一丝暖意.行将暮色的街上,一匹白马拉着一个雪橇,还在赶路.这时我才突然明白,原来"雪橇"是交通工具,顿时旋律中那离别的忧伤,重逢的喜悦,以及那一路的艰辛与期盼跃然划过心头.何止是冰雪之路,也是人生之路.
Later when I entered middle school and could operate the TV, I started watching foreign arts programs. At that time, Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 was paired with glacier footage, majestic and grand, and there was also Smetana's "The Moldau." Later I also came into contact with more string music, the more classical ones being Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor and Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D major, and to simply summarize these two works: "Heroes are short of breath; lovers are long on sentiment." — my personal understanding. Also, Tchaikovsky's Piano Trio Op. 50 is very excellent, I think that is quite excellent. Of course, different performers' works have different styles. I will attach the ones I appreciate more. The sound quality can only be considered passable. For domestic ones like Lang Lang, forget it, really not good.
后来上中学了,可以操纵电视了,就开始看外国文艺,当时柴可夫斯基的第一钢琴协奏曲,配的冰川视频,气势恢宏,还有斯美塔那的"伏尔塔瓦河".后来也接触了更多弦乐,比较经典的,门德尔松的e小调小提琴协奏曲和柴可夫斯基的D大调小提琴协奏曲,而简单概括这两首作品就是,"英雄气短;儿女情长.",个人理解.另外柴可夫斯基的钢琴三重奏op50也很优秀,我觉得那是相当优秀.当然不同的演奏家的作品也是不同风格的,我会附件我比较欣赏的,音质只能对付听了,国内的像郎朗就算了吧,真的不行.
Also regarding music, as for songs, let's talk when you're willing to have a conversation with me. They may involve more of life's era and background.
同样是音乐方面,至于歌曲,等到你愿意与我对话的时候再聊吧,它们可能更多的涉及人生时代背景.
There are a few things I forgot to mention: don't put your work shoes in the drawer. It doesn't ventilate and they get moldy easily. You don't wear socks either. If your skin gets a fungal infection, it's very troublesome. Besides, shoes in the drawer smell bad too, right? Doesn't that affect a beauty's image? Go ask Sapphire for a cabinet, and brush your shoes regularly. Be safe when dating. Also, don't let mosquitoes bite your ankles until they're all swollen — just looking at it makes me... Also, it seems you haven't gotten your ears pierced. If you haven't, then don't. It hurts and has health risks. Why ruin your precious body for the sake of wearing an accessory. Also, you often look down at your phone, including when walking.
有几件事忘说了,劳保鞋不要放在抽屉里,不通风,容易发霉.你又不穿袜子,如果皮肤被真菌感染是很麻烦的.再说鞋子放在抽屉里味道也不好啊,是不是影响美女的形象?去跟萨菲尔要个柜子,定期刷鞋.处对象注意安全,另外不要再被蚊子咬的脚脖子都是大包,我看着都,,,还有好像你没有扎耳洞,没有就不要了,既疼又健康风险,何必为了戴个物件糟蹋自己的精贵之身.还有你经常低头看手机,包括走路的时候,
A few days ago my heart was uncomfortable. These past two days it got a bit better, but then I couldn't stop thinking about you and couldn't sleep again. I'm on a self-destructive path, I need to figure something out. Actually, it's not the desire to have you that's burning. It's just that unstoppable longing. Not that I'm thinking about you constantly, just that I think of you from time to time, but can't stop immediately. This is also one reason I don't pursue the opposite sex. If I don't control my emotions, they'll burn hotter and hotter like a raging fire. Without the other person adding fuel, I'll eventually burn myself up. I don't know what will happen if this continues, because I haven't gone this far before. I'm afraid of getting hurt. It's simple — aren't you the same? I think maybe I should stop for a while, but I don't know if I can. I also don't know if that's what you want. Would you feel disappointed? But if I don't stop, would you feel burdened? And in this situation, I have to tell you, because I don't want some change in my behavior to make you misunderstand again, like thinking I've become perverted again.
前几天心脏不舒服,这两天刚好点,又因为无法抑制的想你失眠了,我这是作死的节奏啊,我需要想想办法.其实并不是要得到你的欲望烧的,就是那份无法停止的思念,也不是一直想那种,就是时不时地想起,但是又无法即刻停止.这也是我不追求异性的一个原因,如果我不控制自己的感情,会像烈火一样愈加炙热,没有对方填柴,最终会把我自己烧毁.我也不知道这样下去会怎样,因为我还没有走过这么远,怕受伤,很简单,难道你不是吗.我想也许我应该适当停一停自己的脚步,可是不知能否做到,也不知道是不是你想要的,你会不会觉得失落,可是不停一停,你又会不会觉得负担.而这样的情况,我不能不对你说,因为我不想又因为我的什么表现变化让你误会,比如我又变态了.
I want to add you on WeChat, because sometimes I want to send you what I want to say right away, but it's the middle of the night, and it would disturb you. Besides, I can't see your Moments. I can't. I can't. But I want to ask, why do you use beauty filters? Since then, I stopped looking at your Moments. When you hadn't deleted me yet. Many bad things in this world start from being unable to face reality. Besides, do you really need to use beauty filters to please others? Not worth it. Hmph, ignoring the person who truly appreciates you, but going out of your way to please others. "Like a fine rain falling into my heart, that feeling is so mysterious,,,". For a while, I didn't look at you for a long time. One time I entered the office, and Sapphire happened to be behind me. I turned back to see her holding the door, and when I turned my head, I happened to see you looking this way. Actually, I'm nearsighted. My glasses have a low prescription, they're for work. I can't really see your eyes clearly, but in my mind, I have the image of your gaze. I don't know why — what they call "brain fill" I guess.
我想要加你微信,因为有时候想把要对你说的话马上发给你,可是大半夜的,也打扰你.再说,我不能看到你的朋友圈,不能,我不能.但是我想说你为什么要用美颜呢,自从那之后我就不再看你朋友圈了,你没删我的时候.很多这世上不好的东西都是从无法面对现实开始的,再说你有必要为取悦他人而美颜吗?不值得,哼,放着真正欣赏你的人不珍惜,偏偏去取悦别人."像一阵细雨洒落我心底,那感觉如此神秘,,,".有一阶段,我很长时间不去看你了,有一次进办公室,正好萨菲尔在后面,我回头看她留门,转过头正好看到你望向这边.其实我近视,眼镜度数小,是工作用的,并不能看清你的眼睛,但是头脑里却有你的眼神的样子,不知道为什么,所谓"脑补"吧.
True love is not taking, but giving. One day you'll understand that giving without expecting anything in return is the happiest, because without expecting return, there's no disappointment. You once said I lacked love. Now you know me better. Do you think I lack love? My heart has so much, so much. I just lack a confidante, a soulmate. Although it's not essential in life, who wouldn't want to have one? Overseas channeling information says that one person's gratitude toward another promotes the other's soul growth. From higher beings, to foreigners' hands, then to Chinese people's hands — information that's been passed through so many hands, I really don't know what the original exact meaning is. But fortunately we can think. You and I both have brains, we can judge and evaluate for ourselves. A long time ago, there was a MIDI-synthesized Beethoven "Pathétique" third movement, visual + auditory impact, felt like an alien warship, but that was a work from hundreds of years ago (search 'Beethoven' and 'shousu' on Bilibili and you'll find it). So they say, a genius is a genius. Maybe he really connected to more musical inspiration or something. Genius is truly born, not made. Just like I love music but couldn't even do ear training in elementary school music class, while a female classmate could identify chords. Not acknowledging your superiors is a sin.
真正的爱不是索取,而是付出.有一天你会体会到,不期待回报的付出是最幸福的,因为没有期待回报所以也不会失落.曾经你说我缺爱,现在你更了解我了,你看我缺爱吗,我的心中有许多许多,只是我缺一位知己,红颜知己,虽然不是人生必需的,可是谁不想能有一位呢.国外通灵的信息说,一个人对另一个人的感激会促进对方的灵魂成长.从高等生命,到外国人手里转,再到中国人手里,转了多少手的信息,真的不知道原始确切含义是什么.但是好在我们可以思考,你我都是有脑子的人,可以自己去判断评估.很久以前,有一个midi合成的贝多芬"悲怆"第三乐章,视觉+听觉冲击,感觉就像外星战舰,但那是几百年前的作品了（bilibili搜'贝多芬','手速'就有）.所以说,天才就是天才,也许他真的连接了更多的音乐方面的灵感或者什么.天才真的是天生的,就像我虽然喜欢音乐但是却连小学音乐课听音都做不到,而有一个女同学却能听出和旋,不服高人有罪啊.
So I wonder, when I think of you often, does it increase the connection of your soul in another world? That is, more sources of inspiration — not with me, but through what I think of, or the connections I have, expanding more for you. Actually, what I'm doing now isn't to get you. Maybe that's just a byproduct. I don't care whether it exists or not. I just want to influence you. If your values are similar to mine, and your logic for handling problems is similar to mine, then in your future, whether I'm there or not, I can rest assured.
所以我想,我经常想到你,是不是会在另一个世界增加你的灵魂的连接呢,也就是说更多灵感来源,不是与我,而是通过我所想到的,或者说我有的连接为你拓展更多.其实我现在所做的这些并不是为了得到你,也许那只是副产品,我不在意有无.我只想通过影响你,如果你的价值观和我相似,处理问题的逻辑和我相似,那么在你的未来里无论有没有我,我都可以放心了.
Missing you,
David
想你的
David
Letter Nine from Sinosteel Compound
中钢大院情书之九
October 28, 2021 (Thursday) 16:09
2021年10月28日 (周四) 16点09分
Sometimes I also wonder, have you been reading? Honestly, I've never done this before. I don't know if the other person is reading, but I keep writing anyway. But I have to continue. I don't know how you judge me. Of course, I also judge you. For example, you take work notes. You're a good kid. You're not like Lila and Sapphire fighting over snacks with the workers. That's good at the core. Many conflicts in life are caused by excessive selfishness. When two people love each other more than themselves, there won't be such conflicts. Of course, this is an ideal situation and requires both sides to achieve it. Just imagine: if one side is insatiably greedy, no matter how selfless the other side is, it won't work. Also, if both sides rationally understand and respect each other's needs, that works too. At the same time, both sides have enough self-control not to go too far.
有时候我也想,你有没有看,说实话我从来没有做过这种事,不知道对方有没有看还在不停地写,但是还得继续.我不知道你怎么判断我,当然我也会判断你.比如你会做工作笔记,是个好孩子,你不像莱拉和萨菲尔和工人们抢零食,这是好的本质.生活中很多矛盾都是过度自私引起的,当两个人爱对方胜过自己就不会有这种矛盾,当然这是理想的情况,还需要双方成就.试想如果一边贪得无厌,另一边再怎么无私也不成.再有就是双方都理智的理解和尊重对方的需求,也可以,同时双方都有足够的自制力不至于过分.
In the Bible, the New Testament Gospels say: do not judge others, or you too will be judged. I think this "judge" means looking down on someone because of some point, establishing a sense of personal superiority. Facing people or things, it's normal for everyone to have their own judgments. It's just that the basis for judgment between you and me is too little, even though I keep writing and writing. Saying a word to me, or exchanging views on certain things, doesn't mean you and I have some kind of relationship. Why are you unwilling to communicate with me? I don't think eating and chatting with that group of people has deepened your feelings? How many of those words were sincere? Maybe I just don't understand socializing.
圣经里,新约福音部分说,不要判断人,不然也必然被判断.我觉得这个"判断"说的是看别人某点不顺眼,建立个人优越感的意思.面对人或者事,每个人有自己的判断很正常,只是你我之间的判断依据太少了,虽然我还在不停地写呀写的.和我说句话,或者交换一下就某些事情的看法不等于你我有什么关系,为什么你不愿意和我交流呢.我不觉得你和那一帮人一起吃饭聊天就增进感情了?其中有几句是真心话呢,或许是我不懂社交.
Anyway, my time in this world is limited. Each day that passes is one less. Once we're separated by life and death, we can't chat anymore. Maybe I'm not needed by you. I don't know if you're the kind of person with very firm will and persistent feelings. It's said that in the spirit realm, if you want to, you can meet people you knew before — just think it in your heart. But different souls are separated to different places based on their character traits. It's just meeting once, not being able to stay together for long. Why not cherish this time of gathering together in the mortal world?
反正我在这世上的时间是有限的,过一天少一天,阴阳相隔就不能再聊天了,也许我对你来说并不需要.我不知道你是不是那种意志很坚定,感情很执着的人,据说在灵界,想要的话可以和从前认识的人见面的,只要心里想,但是不同的灵魂会依据品格特性区分到不同的地方,只是见一面而已,并不能再长久在一起.为什么不珍惜这红尘之中的共聚时光呢.
I didn't intentionally stand you up on Wednesday. I just realized when I was picking the date that the next day was already Thursday. My days pass without me knowing what day it is, hehe.
我不是星期三故意要放你鸽子,我刚才选日期时才发现第二天已经是周四了,我的日子过得不知道星期几,呵呵.
Yours sincerely,
David
你真诚的
David
Letter Ten from Sinosteel Compound
中钢大院情书之十
October 28, 2021 (Thursday) 8:15
2021年10月28 日(周四) 8点15分
I'm sorry, I want to rest for a while. My emotions aren't very stable.
对不起,我想歇一歇了,我的情绪不太稳定.
You're right, I lack love. The saddest thing is I kept denying it.
你说得对,我是缺爱,最可悲的是我还一直不承认.
I lack your love like a beggar.
我缺你的爱就像乞丐一样.
When I put down all my dignity, knelt before you begging for a little of your charity, I saw not a trace of your pity.
当我放下所有尊严,跪在你面前祈求你的一点施舍,却不见你有半点怜悯.
I know love can't be begged for. A beggar gets what a beggar deserves. I willingly accept your contempt and mockery.
我知道爱不能祈求获得,一个乞丐得到乞丐所应得的,我愿笑纳你的鄙视与嘲讽.
I am a beggar. I am. I admit it.
我就是个乞丐,我是,我承认,
David
David
Letter Eleven from Sinosteel Compound
中钢大院情书之十一
October 29, 2021 (Friday) 15:53
2021年10月29日 (周五) 15点53分
I just want to remind you: some people cherish what they have, some people desperately pursue what they don't have, and once they get it... usually this kind of person is insatiably greedy. Can you expect them to cherish anything?
我只想提醒你,有的人是珍惜自己所拥有的,有的人是没有的使劲追求,得到了就,,,通常这种人都是贪得无厌的,你能指望他珍惜什么吗.
And the former kind of person may be more content.
而前一种人可能更知足.
I hope you can understand, am I being cheap?
希望你能明白,我是不是贱.
David
David
（Translated by 文心一言）