The third day's work concluded smoothly, and dinner time finally offered a chance to savor some quiet moments. Outside the window, the sky hung heavy and overcast. Only the faint glow from the inn's lights filtered through the glass, spilling onto the surrounding snow and creating a solitary warmth. In such an environment, it seemed people could always draw closer to one another.
第三天的工作很顺利结束了,晚餐时间终于可以享受一下清闲时光,窗外天空阴沉,只有旅店中的孱弱灯光,透过玻璃窗倾洒在周边雪地上,营造出这一点暖色空间的孤单氛围,似乎在这样的环境中总能让人与人之间靠得更近.
"So many young guys working together today—anyone your type?" Li Haojun chatted casually with Kesiya over lunch.
"今天那么多小伙子一起工作,有你喜欢的类型吗?" 李皓珺吃饭间与凯西娅闲谈,
"Why do you ask?" Kasiya retorted, her expression cold.
"你为什么要这么问?"凯西娅反问了一句,表情冷淡,
"I'm a bit curious about your taste," Li Haojun said, noticing her cool reaction and realizing his question had been inappropriate.
"我,有点好奇你的审美点,"李皓珺看她的反应冷淡,也觉得自己问得不妥,
"Didn't I tell you? I can sense you. I don't feel anything for them."
"我不是说过么,我能感觉到你,我对他们没感觉,"
"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I was just afraid..." For a moment, Li Haojun didn't know how to respond.
"抱歉,我不该这么问,我只是怕,"一时间,李皓珺不知如何回答,
"What are you afraid of? Afraid I'll regret choosing you?" Kesiya stared into Li Haojun's eyes, her gaze colder than it had ever been.
"怕什么?怕我后悔选择你吗?" 凯西娅盯着李皓珺的眼睛,似乎从没有过这样冰冷地眼神,
"Oh, really? I... I can hardly believe it, honestly, the way things are now."
"啊,是吧,我,有些不敢相信,真的,现在这样子,"
"Though I may not possess Malaya's ability to see through everything, at least I know exactly what I want," Kasiya murmured, a faint smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"虽然我不像玛莱雅那样好像能看透一切,但是至少我自己想要什么还是很清楚的,"说着凯西娅嘴角微微一笑,
"I'm sorry, I always fear I might hurt you," Li Haojun said, reaching out to take Kasiya's fingers. He gazed into her eyes, shaking his head gently with resignation.
"抱歉,我总怕会带给你伤害,"说着,李皓珺伸手拉住凯西娅的手指,看着她的眼睛,无奈地轻轻摇着头说,
When did I ever say you had to take responsibility?
"我什么时候说过要你负责任吗?"
"No,"
"没有,"
Did I ever say I wanted you to marry me?
"我说过要你娶我吗?"
"No,"
"没有,"
"I only need you to love me when you're by my side."
"我只需要你在我身边的时候爱我就够了,"
Li Haojun set down his cutlery, took Kasiya's hands in his own, and gazed into her eyes, hoping the warmth he held could melt the icy expression on her face.
李皓珺放下手中的餐具,双手握着凯西娅,看着她的眼睛,希望自己手握的这点温度能够融化她冰冷的表情,
"Sorry, it's my fault. I was doing fine, but I ended up upsetting you. How can I make it up to you?"
"抱歉,是我的错,好好的,偏惹你不开心,让我怎么补偿一下好吗?"
Kesiya finally broke into a smile and said cheerfully,
凯西娅这才在脸上露出笑容,笑嘻嘻地说,
"Alright then, buy me a drink. Red wine will do—I can't handle anything too strong."
"那好啊,你请我喝点吧,红酒就行,我不能喝酒精度太高的,"
"Sure thing," Li Haojun said cheerfully as he went to the service counter to fetch the red wine and glasses.
"好啊,"说着李皓珺高高兴兴地去服务台拿了红酒和杯子,
But as they raised their glasses to drink together, she suddenly hesitated. After taking a sip, Kasiya asked,
可是在举杯共饮的时候却突然犹豫了,凯西娅抿了一口后问,
Why aren't you drinking?
"为什么你不喝?"
"Um," Li Haojun hesitated for a moment before leaning close to Kasiya's ear and whispering,
"呃,"李皓珺犹豫了一下,凑到凯西娅耳边偷偷说,
I don't trust them. I'm afraid there's a sedative in the wine. If neither of us gets knocked out, who's going to protect you?
"我不信任他们,怕酒里有迷药,要是你我都没迷倒了,谁保护你?"
Before Li Haojun could finish speaking, Kasiya burst into hearty laughter, her cheerful chuckles seeming to wash away her earlier gloom better than any wine. Sitting across from her, Li Haojun could only offer an awkward smile in return before asking,
还没等李皓珺说完,凯西娅就哈哈哈地笑了起来,笑声爽朗,好像比红酒更好地补偿了她刚才的不开心,李皓珺坐在对面只好陪着尬笑,然后问,
"Has the young lady given her approval? You should drink less for now; I'll join you later," Li Haojun said, feeling a bit embarrassed. Wasn't this treating her like a guinea pig?
"大小姐批准了吗?你先少喝点,我过一会儿再陪你喝,"说着李皓珺有点不好意思,这不是拿人家当试验品吗,
"Let me try it, huh?" Kasiya added, as if she weren't angry at all.
"让我试饮是吗?" 凯西娅补充道,似乎她没有生气,
"Sorry, I only thought of this after bringing the wine back," Li Haojun explained.
"抱歉,我把红酒拿回来才想到这个问题," 李皓珺解释道,
Kesiya didn't seem upset at all. Instead, she took a few sips herself, then picked up the bottle and read aloud to herself,
似乎凯西娅并没有生气,而是自己品尝了几口后,拿过酒瓶,自言自语地读,
"100% Shiraz, 13% alcohol," she said, shifting her gaze from the wine to Li Haojun.
"百分百西拉葡萄,酒精度13,"说着,凯西娅的目光从红酒移到了李皓珺,
"You just called me 'young miss'—whose young miss am I, exactly? I don't even know myself,"
she said, burying her head in her glass to savor the red wine.
"刚才你说,称我是大小姐,我到底是谁家的大小姐呢?我甚至自己都不知道,"
说着,埋头自己品尝着红酒,
At this moment, the red wine seemed to embody her bitter life story, though this was not Li Haojun's intention. He hurriedly tried to distract her to prevent her mood from sinking, waving his hands in front of her while saying,
此刻这红酒仿佛成了她苦涩的身世,可这并不是李皓珺的本意,急忙分散她的注意力,以免心情低落,所以一边在她面前摆手,一边说,
Kesiya, Kesiya, how about this—would you be my lady? Would that work? Would you like that?" After saying this, Li Haojun wasn't sure if it was appropriate, so he just stared at her, watching to see if she was upset again.
"凯西娅,凯西娅,要不,你看,做我的大小姐,行吗?这样行吗?好不好?"说完,李皓珺也不知道这么说是否适合,于是说完便盯着她看,有没有又不高兴,
"Really?" Kasiya looked up at Li Haojun.
"真的吗?"凯西娅抬眼看着李皓珺,
"Really, are you willing?" Li Haojun answered earnestly.
"真的,你愿意吗?" 李皓珺认真地回答,
"Isn't Emily your little princess?"
"艾米莉不是你的大小姐吗?"
"Oh," Li Haojun hesitated for a moment, then thought it over. Qin Wenjing never said she wanted to be my daughter, so it should be fine to make this promise to Kesiya. He answered with certainty,
"哦,"李皓珺迟疑了一下,想了想,覃文静没说过要做我的女儿啊,我这样承诺凯西娅没问题,于是肯定地回答,
"No, she didn't ask for this position. She's my partner, so you're my lady," Li Haojun said urgently, then waited for her response.
"不,她没说要这个位置,她是我的伴侣,所以你就是我的大小姐," 李皓珺急切地说完,然后等待着她的回答,
Kesiya looked into Li Haojun's eyes for a moment, then said,
凯西娅看着李皓珺的眼睛,片刻,说,
"Alright then, from now on, I'll be your daughter, and you'll love me just like you love your own daughter."
"好啊,那从今往后,我就是你的女儿,爸爸要像爱女儿一样爱我,"
"Good girl," Li Haojun said, taking her hand.
"好女儿,"说着李皓珺拉着她的手,
Kesiya took a sip of the red wine in her hand, then offered it to Li Haojun with a smile, saying,
凯西娅喝了一口手中红酒,然后递到李皓珺面前,微笑着说,
Have a drink with your daughter.
"和你的女儿喝一杯吧,"
Kesiya slowly fed the wine into Li Haojun's mouth. There wasn't much left for him, so he drank it all.
凯西娅缓慢地把酒喂到李皓珺嘴里,剩给他的不多,他也就饮尽了.
After several more rounds of drinking, Li Haojun put away the remaining half bottle of wine.
又对饮几轮之后,李皓珺把剩下的半瓶酒收了起来,
"Alright, just have a little to liven things up—don't overdo it."
"好,喝一点助兴就好,不要过量,"
"Mm," Kasiya smiled in agreement.
"嗯,"凯西娅微笑答应,
Then Li Haojun went to the front desk to fetch two large bottles of drinking water. Supporting Kasiya, he returned to the room and turned on the lights, only to discover her face flushed crimson. Her fair skin glowed with a rosy hue, making her look exceptionally captivating.
然后李皓珺又去服务台拿了两大瓶饮用水,搀扶着凯西娅,回到房间,打开室内照明才发现她已经喝红了脸,白皙中泛着红晕,分外迷人,
"Sit down and sober up, okay?" Li Haojun helped Kesiya sit on the edge of the bed.
"坐下醒一醒酒吧," 李皓珺搀着凯西娅坐在床边,
"It's okay, I'm just a little dizzy. It's more comfortable lying down," she said, pulling Li Haojun down beside her onto the bed. She buried her head in his chest and said nothing more.
"没事,稍微有点晕,还是躺着舒服,"说着,一把拉着李皓珺陪她躺在床上,只是把头埋在他的怀里,不再说话,
Looking at her flushed cheeks and the rise and fall of her chest, Li Haojun felt that today's Kasiya was unusually emotional. Unlike her usual self—calm, serene, and sometimes a little mischievous—today she held nothing back, releasing all her feelings. Li Haojun himself couldn't fathom what had stirred her today.
看着她绯红的脸颊,呼吸起伏的胸,李皓珺觉得今天的凯西娅很感性,不像平时的她,平和宁静,有时有点调皮,而今天她没有任何隐藏自己的感情,而是全部释放,李皓珺自己也不明白今天是什么触动了她,
Tonight she'd had a bit too much to drink, her breathing slightly labored. Li Haojun gently stroked her cheek, tucking her bangs behind her ear.
今天晚上她喝得有点多,呼吸稍微有点重,李皓珺轻抚她的脸颊,梳理她的刘凯到耳后,
Kesiya turned her head, her eyes reddened. She wept, tears staining Li Haojun's chest.
凯西娅转过头,眼圈红了,她哭了,泪水印在李皓珺前胸,
"What's wrong? Did something sad come to mind?" Li Haojun asked urgently.
"你怎么了,想到什么不开心的事了吗?"李皓珺急忙询问,
"No, I feel happy."
"不是,我感到幸福,"
Li Haojun looked puzzled as she tugged at her cotton shirt, wiping away the tear stains from her eyes.
李皓珺有点不解,用手扯着纯棉衬衫,擦去她眼眶的泪痕,
"It took me twenty years to find my father," Kasiya said, her voice breaking.
"女儿,用了二十年,才找到爸爸,"凯西娅,有些哽咽地说,
Li Haojun finally understood that she longed for the warmth of a family, and promptly suggested,
李皓珺这才明白,她想要家庭的温暖,赶紧建议,
"So, let Emily be your mom. We'll be a family, okay?"
"那么,让艾米莉做你的妈妈,我们是一家人,好吗?"
Oh no, I'm all grown up now and don't need Mom anymore. Since she hasn't shown up, I don't want her. All I want now is Dad.
"不好,我现在已经长大了,不需要妈妈了,既然她没有出现,那我就不要了,现在我只要爸爸,"
"Alright, as long as I'm here with you," Li Haojun's forehead broke out in a light sweat as he silently berated himself. What was wrong with him today? He just couldn't seem to anticipate what Kesiya needed. So he fell silent, cradling her head in his arms and gazing at her peaceful, serene eyes.
"好好,只要我陪伴你,"李皓珺的头有点冒汗,责备自己,今天是怎么了,总是想不到凯西娅需要什么.于是只好闭嘴,把她的头搂在怀中,看着她的眉眼,平和宁静.
At that moment, Li Haojun realized the girl was acting coy. She had never behaved this way around him before. Today, she had finally let down all her defenses, convinced that he was someone she could confide in emotionally. Only then did she pour out the bitterness she had endured all these years.
这时李皓珺意识到了,这个女孩子是在撒娇,她从来没有在自己面前这样过,今天终于放下所有戒备,认定了自己是她可以托付情感的人,才会倾诉这么多年以来的苦楚.
Holding Kesiya in his arms, watching her steady breathing as she seemed to have fallen asleep, Li Haojun took a pillow to prop her up. He went to the bathroom to shower, then washed the underwear and socks he'd changed over the past two days. After tidying up, he saw Kesiya still lying there. For some reason, she seemed not her current age, but twelve—a grown girl. Li Haojun began to wonder if the girl from his many past dreams was her. Though that child had been only a few years old, in his dreams he had always known she was his daughter.
扶着凯西娅在怀中,看着她均匀的呼吸,似乎睡着了,于是李皓珺拿了枕头给她垫好,自己去浴室洗澡,然后洗了这两天换下来的内衣,袜子,收拾完毕看见凯西娅依然躺在那里.不知为何感觉她好似不在现在的年龄,而是十二岁,一个大女孩.而李皓珺自己也在怀疑,以前好多次梦中那个女孩子是不是她,虽然那是个几岁的小孩子,但是在梦里自己似乎知道她是自己的女儿.
I don't know why Qin Wenjing refuses to have a child with me, but when I think about how I lost my own memories, I understand her. Could it be that we once had a daughter together?
不知道为什么覃文静不愿意和自己生个孩子,可是想想自己都不知道怎么把自己的记忆搞没了,也就理解她了.莫非,自己和她之前曾经有过女儿?
For a moment, Kesiya lying there motionless stirred Li Haojun's thoughts. He gulped down several large mouthfuls of water. The cool, refreshing liquid seemed to dilute the thick tangles in his mind. Kasiya still showed no signs of waking. Li Haojun helped remove her outer coat, loosened the laces of her corset, slipped off her stockings, and tucked the blanket around her. He realized she must need a change of undergarments after these days, yet none were visible outside. She was a meticulous girl.
一时间,静静躺在那里的凯西娅却搅动了李皓珺的思绪.喝了几大口水,冰凉爽口,似乎稀释了思绪的粘稠.凯西娅依然没有醒来的迹象,李皓珺便帮忙给她掉了外衣,松了她的胸衣腰带,脱走她的袜子,给她盖好毛毯.想想这几天她应该也有内衣需要换洗,可是外面没看到,她是个细心的姑娘.
So she took only her socks—a pair of pink cotton socks embroidered with a cartoon carriage, utterly adorable. As she washed them in the bathroom, it felt as though they were carrying her back to the lonely days before Kasiya. Back when the older sister cared for the younger, with no other family around. It was as if she were watching them grow up night after night, as if she could somehow make up for the companionship she'd failed to provide.于是只拿了她的袜子,一双粉色的棉袜,上面有卡通马车的刺绣图案,萌萌的.在盥洗室一边清洗,一边似乎体会到它带着自己回到凯西娅以前孤单的日子,姐姐带着妹妹,没有任何亲人,仿佛自己正注视着她们长大的日日夜夜,仿佛自己能够填补些亏欠的陪伴.
Under the clear water's rinse, the soapy foam on the socks gradually faded away. Li Haojun didn't wring out the soft little socks with his hands, afraid he might stretch them too long and cause them to lose their elasticity and lose their shape. Instead, he rolled them between his palms to squeeze out moisture, then lifted them to shake off more water in the air. Accidentally, he flung them against the mirror in front of him. Just as Li Haojun reached for a towel to wipe it, he caught sight of Kasiya in the reflection—standing behind him, leaning against the doorframe, watching him with a blank expression.
在清水的冲洗中,袜子上洗手液的泡沫逐渐淡去,那双柔软的小袜子,李皓珺没有用双手拧干水分,他怕会给它们拉得太长而失去弹性走了型.于是便在手中团来团去,攥去水分,然后拎着在空气中抖一抖再甩掉些水分,不小心却甩在了面前的镜子上.李皓珺刚想用毛巾擦拭,这时才在镜中看到凯西娅正在背后,扶着门框,看着自己,面无表情.
Stupefied, Li Haojun gazed at the reflection of Kasiya in the mirror, her lips curving into a silent smile—as if this were a long-awaited reunion across the abyss of time.
傻傻地,李皓珺望着镜中的凯西娅露出无声的笑容,仿佛那是穿越时光早已久候的相遇.
After gazing for a long while, Kasiya approached Li Haojun. He turned around.
凝视许久,凯西娅才走近李皓珺,他转过身,
"Dad," she choked out, barely managing the single word before burying her face in Li Haojun's embrace.
"爸爸,"只一字,已经哽咽了咽喉,扑在李皓珺怀中,
Holding her trembling body close, gently stroking her silky hair, Li Haojun leaned toward Kesiya's ear and whispered softly,
"My daughter,"
搂着她颤抖的身体,轻抚她的秀发,李皓珺靠近凯西娅的耳畔,轻声呼唤,
"女儿,"