I lay on the hospital bed as I looked into my son's eyes. He held my hand strongly as he cried. "Mum please don't go," he cried out to me as he held my hand.
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," I said to him. "I know you're angry with me. I know you've hate me for not I didn't manage to tame you a inheritance from your father. I recounted the resentment my son had built up towards me all because I'd failed to get his father to pick him as his heir.
"Mother what are you talking about!? You never understood Your never cared to. You've always been like this,"
"What do you mean? I asked him weakly in disbelief.
"You only ever focused on making sure I'm the heir father chooses. You thought that's what I wanted but it's not. All I ever wanted was to spend time with you. Everywhere I went I was ostracised and bullied for the situation we are in. My life was a living hell and nightmare. The one thing that could have better was at least having you around. But all you ever did was chase after father trying to force him to make me the heir. I never cared about being the heir. I accepted that Father hates me, and I've basically never seen him in the last 7 years. But at least you could've been there for me! I really wish you could have spent more time with me.
My eyes widened in horror as I looked into the eyes of my now 15-year-old son. All these years I thought I was doing everything to help him. Turns out I was doing everything wrong. How could I have been completely oblivious to how he felt?
Now knowing that I'd basically wasted my time I was ashamed of myself. How had I not noticed before. It's now on my death bed that I realize it. When its far too late.
"Now I'm about to lose you and I'll be all alone," he said as he continued to cry. Watching him cry pained me immensely. To know that I had failed my child was a hard pill to swallow.
Suddenly, I felt I couldn't breathe, and my chest began to constrict.
"Mum! Mum!" Anthony yelled out to me. My body wasn't responding though and I continued to shake.
He ran to the doorway of the room. "Help! I need some help in here!" someone screamed at the hospital. Soon I assumed it was the hospital staff.
"She's going into respiratory failure!" I heard someone yell.
In the distance I heard my son crying. It was awful knowing I was traumatising my son. I wished I could fix it all. To go back in time and redo all the things I'd done wrong. To earn my sons forgiveness, to spend more time with him and give him what he wished for.
I had failed to make the heir and my ex-husband ignores his existence what was going to happened to him now? If he's forced to move in with my 'husband' there's no doubt in my mind that woman will kill him. I had failed as a mother. My one job was to protect my child and I had failed, miserably.
As the doctors began trying to resuscitate me I felt my body begin to shut down.
"No! I screamed in my mind. Please let me help my son! Please he needs me! I need to fix this! I can't die like this!"
To think I would die at the early age of 36 was unbelievable to me. As my eyes closed and suddenly, I saw a blinding bright light appear before me. Which was ironic since my eyes were closed.
The light seemed to envelop me as it was all I could see with nothing else that lay ahead.
Was this me going to the afterlife? I wondered. The light stayed surrounding me for what felt like several minutes with nothing changing. Then suddenly, the light begin fade.
Surprisingly my eyelids no longer felt heavy.
I'm sorry Mrs Acland but Mr Acland is busy," I then heard a voice say.
Unsure if I'd heard right, I slowly opened my eyes and was met with a woman seated behind a desk in front of me.
"What?" I said, confused by the scene before me.
Mrs Acland, I said Mr Acland is busy he can't see you right now," the woman repeated.
Mrs Acland? I thought to myself in surprise, I hadn't been called that in so long I'd divorced Keith 6 years ago. Ms Towers was my maiden surname. Mr Acland was Keith, my husband.
She looked familiar. I then looked around taking in my surroundings. I was in a luxurious buildings' entrance hall, which I also recognized. This was the Acland Holdings Limited HQ building. In front of me was the reception where two well dressed women were stationed. The who had spoken to me was call Cassie as was written on her name tag.
"Ms Towers," she called out to me again however I still didn't respond.
What was I doing here? How has this happened? I asked myself shocked. Was this a dream? I pinched my arm. I certainly felt the pain. Was this real?
This seemed like one of the many scenarios in which I would attempt to see Keith, and he would reject seeing me every single time. However, that was more than 3 years ago that I use to do that. In recent years I had gotten ill and couldn't move around. Had I gone back in time? Had my wish come true? What in the world was going on?
"Mrs Acland unfortunately we're going to have to call security if you don't leave," the receptionist informed me, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Then a thought came to mind clear this is a time before I get sick so that means, Anthony! I could go see Anthony! I thought to myself. Whether it's a dream or not I have to see my son.