After laughing himself silly, Uchiha Kira finally headed home.
The bandit hideout was a few hundred kilometers from Konoha, but for a ninja, that was just a day's jog. More than enough time to get back, take a bath, change clothes, maybe even hit the spa, and still have room to loot a few more hideouts along the way.
Bandits were always worth clearing out. You didn't clear them, they'd clear you.
The Third Great Ninja War had just ended, and while the Land of Fire couldn't exactly claim peace and prosperity, the smoke of conflict was everywhere. Plenty of "ambitious young men" had flocked to what they thought was a promising new career path—banditry.
They cut trade routes, blocked supply lines, torched crops, and plundered villages. The result? Economic collapse in the Land of Fire. And if the economy went down, the daimyo's tax revenue went down. Less revenue meant less military funding. And less funding for the military meant less money in Kira's pockets.
Which meant, in the end, these bastards were stealing his money.
And the worst part? In less than two years, Konoha would be at war with the Hidden Cloud. One war after another would crush what little prosperity remained, bleeding the treasury dry.
My money!
It wasn't much to begin with—and now there would be even less!
"I'll have to unleash my Emperor Mode!" Kira declared with mock gravity.
Along his way back, he cleared out not just bandits, but a handful of rogue ninja too. Still, there were countless more pests crawling all over the Land of Fire—and across the entire world.
From that angle, maybe the Third Hokage's "turtle defense" strategy wasn't entirely stupid. Constant concessions and retreats had bought Konoha precious time to lick its wounds.
Sure, it was humiliating. Sure, it was suffocating. But the ninja world wasn't about who shone the brightest—it was about who rotted the slowest.
Think Konoha was crazy for driving White Fang to suicide, for breaking the Legendary Sannin, for crippling the Uchiha clan? Take a look at the other villages.
Sunagakure was broke. Their leaders sold out heroes like Pakura, Sasori abandoned ship and murdered the Third Kazekage, the daimyo slashed their military budget, and their "elite force" policy left them powerless.
Iwagakure was riddled with infighting. Their jinchūriki abandoned them, they lost tailed beasts, their new generation was full of duds, and their one prodigy, Deidara, defected. With no top-tier powerhouses left, they had to trot out the fossil Ōnoki just to save face.
Kirigakure? Don't get him started. The Blood Mist policy had shredded morale. The Seven Ninja Swordsmen were either dead or gone. Kira figured if Obito had dragged things out a couple more years, Kiri would have self-destructed without anyone lifting a finger.
And so, by comparison, Konoha won the "who sucks the least" contest. Proving once again: you don't need to be better than everyone else, you just need to suck slower.
The one real outlier was the Hidden Cloud. The Third Raikage had overwhelming power, authority, and respect. A and B were tighter than brothers. Killer B and Yugito, their jinchūriki, were beloved. They were a fortress—no weaknesses.
"Don't tell me the answer to the ninja world's problems is… the brothers in the Cloud?" Kira muttered. "If I immigrated to the Land of Lightning now, got a tan, and rebuilt the Uchiha there… would I make it in time?"
Apparently not, because Cloud had already set their sights on him.
After cutting down his sixth bandit camp, Kira was sprinting through a moonlit grove when he suddenly halted. His eyes swept the shadows. "Well? Which friends are stalking me? Since I've already spotted you, no point hiding. Show yourselves."
Masked ninja melted out of the dark, surrounding him on all sides.
In the original timeline, war with the Cloud wouldn't erupt until a year later. But clearly, they were already laying their traps.
At that exact moment, the dumb system chimed.
[Emergency Mission: Cull the Rabble. Has the name of the Senju Forest lost its edge? Slaughter these fools and remind the world of Wood Release's terror! Reward: +1 Free Attribute Point.]
Seeing the reward, Kira swallowed back his complaints. Attribute points were attribute points—call him a Senju, call him the Sage of Six Paths, he didn't care.
But first, he had to kill them.
And though the system dismissed them as "rabble," these ninja were no pushovers. Their leader was clearly jōnin level, and the rest were all elite chūnin. More than enough to ambush and overwhelm an ordinary jōnin.
Kira's gaze swept the circle. "So, Cloud really wants to break the truce with Konoha? Right after the Third War?"
One not-so-bright ninja blurted out: "Wait, how'd you know we're from—"
He didn't finish. His comrade slugged him silent.
Kira rolled his eyes. Short sleeves, dark skin, and bright yellow hair? Subtle, real subtle.
"No wonder they call you the Flame Claw of Konoha," the Cloud leader said. "Those Sharingan eyes really do see everything."
He thought Kira had seen through them with his Sharingan. Kira wasn't about to correct him. Let them keep their illusions.
"As for breaking the truce," the man sneered, "of course not. Once you're dead, who'll ever know it was us?"
He laughed. The others laughed with him. But then their laughter faltered—because Kira was laughing too.
"What's so funny?!"
"Hyenas surrounding a lion and daring to taunt him. You don't think that's hilarious?"
"Enough talk," the leader snarled, drawing his blade. "I hope your strength matches your reputation."
Kira's eyes narrowed. "Then—"
"Attack! Don't look into his eyes!"
Eighteen Cloud ninja moved at once. And in the next instant, they turned on each other, blades and kunai plunging into their comrades' bodies.
As blood sprayed and screams echoed, Kira walked calmly toward the Cloud jōnin.
"Genjutsu…?! When did you—"
Terror cracked the man's voice. "The intel said you were weak with eye techniques. That you specialized in kenjutsu! You've been hiding this all along? To reveal it now… are you sure that's wise?"
Kira smirked. "Why not? Once you're dead, who'll be left to tell anyone?"
The leader froze. Wait—that was his own line, thrown back at him. This shameless Uchiha had just stolen his words and made them his own.
"Arrogant bastard. You'll regret it."
"Then come and prove it."
"Fine! I am Cloud's Thunder Fang! You'll find me no weaker than Konoha's Flame Claw!"
With a roar, he charged. Lightning crackled across his blade, mimicking Kira's own fire-infused sword.
And that… made Kira furious. We Uchihas are the ones who steal techniques. When did the tables turn?!
If he didn't tear this guy's head off and kick it like a ball, he'd change his name to Senju.
The clash was instant.
Shunshin against Shunshin. Chakra blades against chakra blades. Thunder Fang versus Flame Claw.
Aside from being eight times uglier, the man fought like Kira's mirror image. Which was shocking—Kira had expected Cloud's swordplay to look more like Killer B's wild style, not this refined kenjutsu.
Steel rang out in rapid rhythm. The two blurred, retreating and lunging, trading shuriken and kunai to probe for openings.
Speed, strength, technique—the man was his equal. His lightning blade crackled with menace.
And yet… his style felt familiar. Too familiar.
"White Fang?" Kira blurted.
The Cloud ninja grinned. "That's right. You're not the only one who admired him. Even as his enemy, I couldn't help but be drawn to his way of fighting. I modeled my blade after his. Such a man… and his own village drove him to death!"
His voice was thick with anger and respect. It drew a sigh from Kira. For a moment, he almost decided to spare him.
Almost.
A heartbeat later, blood burst from the man's throat. The fight was over.
"Genjutsu…? But when…?" His wide, disbelieving eyes fixed on Kira.
"From the very start," Kira said.
The crimson glow of his three-tomoe Sharingan spun like a wheel of fate.
"…I see. Thank you."
His lips curved in a faint, peaceful smile. Grateful, not for mercy, but for the fight itself—for being treated like a worthy opponent. Then his body went limp.
Uru'i, the Thunder Fang of the Cloud, fell dead.
And right on cue, the system chimed:
[Emergency Mission: Cull the Rabble — Completed. Reward: +1 Free Attribute Point.]