Fugaku opened his mouth, then closed it. Opened it again, then shut it. In the end, he forgot what he even wanted to say.
How the hell did Kira manage it? A sharp analysis, point after point, sounding clever as hell—only to land on that ridiculous conclusion.
Fine, he had to admit: there was logic in there somewhere.
A disciple can be close, but can a disciple ever be closer than a husband?
If Kira really could marry Tsunade, then the Senju's political legacy might shift away from the Sarutobi line and land squarely on him. The price would be three Kage-level Senju loyalists glaring death beams at him, with eight kunai suddenly in his back… but hey, at least the inheritance would be secured.
The problem was obvious.
Could he actually pull it off? Of course not, you lunatic.
Kira, oblivious to Fugaku's twitching face, just kept spinning his "master plan" like a poet in love with his own art.
"As the saying goes, marry a woman three years older and you'll have gold. Marry one thirty years older and you'll rule the world.
The Uchiha have always been bound to the Senju—love and hate, hand in hand. Madara and the First, Izuna and the Second… and now, me and Tsunade.
The previous generation didn't… experiment. But I don't have that concern.
I don't care if Tsunade's older. For the sake of the Uchiha, I'll make that sacrifice. From this day on, call me the Macron of Konoha."
Kira said it seriously, and more or less meant it.
That Yin Seal was a hell of a treasure, after all. The number of doujins online proved it well enough.
Besides, what's a Naruto story without someone marrying Tsunade? Without her, the whole franchise feels like eating ramen without broth—a pale substitute for the real deal.
…
Fugaku finally couldn't take it anymore. He blurted out, "Kira, has it occurred to you that maybe—it isn't you rejecting Tsunade, but Tsunade rejecting you?"
Kira blinked, then burst into cheerful laughter. "Hahaha, clan head, you've got a great sense of humor. My Charm stat is thirty-two. There's no way Tsunade would reject me."
"…"
Fugaku studied him carefully. Fine, he had to admit—the kid wasn't bad-looking. But to think that would be enough to pull off such an insane scheme? That was like believing Konoha was about to be invaded by aliens.
Still, putting aside the utterly absurd conclusion, Fugaku couldn't deny his admiration. Kira's brain worked in ways that opened doors he'd never even considered. He looked at the Hokage issue from a new angle, one Fugaku couldn't ignore.
And there was something else.
Everyone knew the Uchiha were a clan of madmen. The stronger they grew, the crazier they became—and the crazier they got, the stronger they became.
In Fugaku's eyes, Kira had already reached the level of madness needed to awaken the Mangekyō Sharingan.
Fugaku himself had unlocked Mangekyō, so he knew its terrifying power. And so he thought: If we had not one, but two Mangekyō in the clan… we'd be untouchable. Even if the village turned on us, we could cut through anything and laugh last.
If Kira had known what his clan leader was secretly plotting, he would have clapped him on the shoulder and laughed. "Haha, clan head, see? I knew you liked jokes, but you never admit it."
But Kira hadn't cast genjutsu, so he had no idea.
He just kept staring confidently at Fugaku, until Fugaku finally sighed and said, "Fine. Details. How exactly do you plan to do this? Just know I'm not giving you much support. Your plan is too far-fetched."
"Relax. I'm not about to rush off recklessly," Kira replied smoothly. "As for support, all I ask is that when our clansmen are out on missions, they keep an eye out for Tsunade's movements. That's it."
"…That's all?"
"That's all. Once you find her, leave the rest to me." Kira's eyes gleamed with confidence.
"You know as well as I do—the hard part isn't the strategy, it's finding her. Tsunade's daily life is basically debt-dodging and hiding. She's maxed out her evasion skill tree. Without a large-scale search, no one's tracking her down.
But once I've found her… then the real plan begins."
…
Fugaku looked at Kira's smug expression, tempted to ask exactly how he planned to "woo" Tsunade. But he shut his mouth again.
Across from him was a lunatic crazy enough to awaken Mangekyō, a man dead set on becoming the Senju's son-in-law. And he, Fugaku, was just the poor Uchiha clan leader.
He'd had enough shocks for one day. No need to torture himself further.
"…Fine. Leave it at that. For now, head to the Hokage building and file your mission report. And take the second elder with you to discuss the Cloud situation. I need some rest."
Even under this mountain of insanity, Fugaku still remembered his duties. Truly, he was worthy of being called clan head.
Kira, satisfied, grinned and gave him a thumbs-up before striding out.
Fugaku watched him go, silent for a long time, then finally murmured: "In any case… maybe this isn't all bad. If Kakashi really is the next Hokage, we'd better prepare early.
Itachi's too old to become his disciple. No other promising clansmen come to mind. Which means… Mikoto. Mikoto, come here a moment."
By the end of his brooding, Fugaku was shouting across the house for his wife.
Lady Mikoto appeared, curious. But when she realized what her husband wanted, her cheeks went red. "In the middle of the day? You shameless man…" she muttered, pretending to protest but not really resisting.
…
And that's how, thanks to Uchiha Kira, Sasuke was born a few months ahead of schedule. Because of the timing, his physical traits came out slightly different from history.
And Kira's opinion on all this?
"I don't really care."
Sasuke was Fugaku's son, not his. He wasn't the one raising kids here. And besides, there was still Itachi—the dutiful eldest. The clan wasn't about to die out, so what was there to worry about?
He had better things to focus on. Like the stupid system's latest mission.
…
Yes, while he'd been talking politics with the clan leader, the idiotic system had dropped a new quest.
And by the time the conversation ended, Kira had already cleared it.
[Stage Mission: Clan Support. To restore the Senju, you must win the backing of a major Konoha clan. Reward depends on which clan offers support.]
…
[Stage Mission Complete: Clan Support (Uchiha). Reward: Sharingan distributed.]