"For someone to say life is easy , they must have never carried the weight of despair."
Life was never kind, especially to me.
It was a battlefield disguised as a journey, where each breath carried the taste of both hope and despair.
Some souls are born into comfort, walking paths paved with gold, while others crawl through shadows, their hands bleeding just to hold onto tomorrow — just to make other people comfortable.
I was not among the blessed.
My name is Kai, and if fate had written my story, it must have done so with broken ink —
a tale of missed chances, shattered trust, and days where the sun rose only to remind me of everything I had lost.
While others spoke of dreams, I learned to survive on fragments.
While they chased happiness, I learned to endure betrayal.
And while they lived, I… simply existed.
I was the one who drowned in silence when no one listened, the one who took the blame for others.
To them, I was nobody.
I was the one who stared at the night sky, wondering when my time would come — when my life would finally be comfortable, or when I would simply die.
I was born into a broken family. My father abandoned us when I was three years old, leaving me and my mother to the cruel, harsh world because he had found another woman to live with.
A year later, my mother couldn't earn enough to survive. She decided to remarry a wealthy businessman.
At first, he cared for me, bought me things, acted like a father.
But after my mother became pregnant, he began to despise me. I was the son of another man — why should he care?
When the baby came — or should I say, my brother — he gave my mother an ultimatum: either she left me, or he would leave her.
And she made the most "logical" decision of her life: she abandoned me.
At seven years old, I was sent to an orphanage.
I grew up with children who had no families, while mine were happy and alive. Some people pitied me, but pity is cold comfort.
After a month, they transferred me to another school.
I wasn't good at first, but I worked hard until I became good.
In high school, I learned about scholarships, so I started skipping meals to study. I worked harder and harder until my roommate thought I had gone crazy.
I had no friends. My classmates called me a nerd, an orphan, a weirdo.
In my last year, I fell in love with a girl — she was the only one who didn't treat me like a nerd. I confessed to her, and to my surprise, she accepted.
After graduation, I won a scholarship to a prestigious college as a medical student.
Life was getting better. I was happy — truly happy.
I graduated as a cardiac surgeon and became an employee at the Central City Hospital in Tokyo.
At first, everything was simple. Then I was promoted from an assistant doctor to a team leader.
But the promotion came with endless work… and new enemies.
Some of my coworkers hated me. They started making trouble, spreading rumors.
One even stabbed me with a scalpel during an important heart operation for a famous patient and claimed it was my mistake.
They made my life miserable with lies: that I stole my coworkers' glory, that I was an unwanted child who didn't belong.
It wore me down. It made me sad and depressed.
But there was still one hope — one person who never abandoned me, who never turned her back on me in my darkest hours: my girlfriend, Lisa.
Lisa was studying data science.
We had been together for eight years.
I was going to propose to her.
I booked a reservation at the most luxurious restaurant in the city and bought a ring.
When we entered the restaurant, she seemed nervous. When we started eating, she said:
> "Kai, I want to confess something to you."
"What is it, honey?" I asked.
"I think I'm pregnant," Lisa whispered.
I froze. We hadn't been together for a month.
"Explain yourself," I said quietly. "How did you get pregnant?"
"I… I… ahh…"
"Answer the fucking question!" I snapped. "You… fucking bitch!"
"I… I did it with my boss. Happy now?"
My heart stopped for a moment.
Everything shattered.
My last hope had abandoned me.
The love of my life.
Everyone hated me. Everyone… everyone…
I gathered myself for one last question:
"What did he give you in two months that I couldn't give you in seven years?"
"What did I do in my life to deserve this?"
She fell silent.
My tears started to fall.
I screamed:
"All I did… everything I did… was to make you happy… to see your fucking smile!"
"Just.... let's end it h...ere let's breakup"
The rooftop of the hospital smelled of rain and city lights, Kai sat on the ledge with his legs dangling over a world that had never been kind enough to keep him. The ring was heavy in his pocket, hotter than it should have been — a small, heavy circle that had once contained hope.
He pick a cigarette from his pocket
He thought of the orphanage beds that never felt like home. He thought of late nights skipping meals and cramming for scholarships, of sutures and scar tissue and the hollow clapping of those who pretended to praise him. He thought of the scalpel and the whispered rumors that had stained his name, of the hospital corridors that smelled of disinfectant and secrets.
Most of all he thought of Lisa — her laugh like an ember that had almost warmed him. He remembered her hand on his sleeve the night she agreed to be with him, the way she had leaned into him when the world looked the coldest. He remembered the restaurant, the ring, the confession that had shattered everything. The betrayal did not hurt because of what she had done; it hurt because it removed the last thing he had let himself believe in
"I tried," he whispered to the empty air, as if the city might answer. "I tried so hard."
Memory after memory passed through him like pages in a book gone to ash. His father's coldness, his mother's quiet decision, the orphanage toys left untouched. Faces blurred and sharpened: classmates who sneered, a roommate who called him mad, the surgeon who had stabbed him and walked away, Lisa's eyes when she said his name for the last time. Each one was a stone added to the pile he'd been carrying his whole life.
Kai closed his eyes and breathed in the cool night. He pulled the ring from his pocket and rolled it between his fingers one last time. The metal was cold, indifferent.
He did not scream. He did not shout at the heavens. He simply let the noise of the city rise and fall around him, and in that rhythm he felt tired of fighting against the current. He laid himself back and looked up — the sky was a wide, indifferent roof, and the stars were bright and very far away.
"If this is the only way to stop the hurt," he thought, not as an instruction but as an acceptance, "then I will go."
He thought of the future that could have been, of laughter and children and the slow, ordinary days he had never been given. He thought of how small a thing hope had been — how easily it had been taken. For a last moment he imagined Lisa's face not as a jagged ruin but as a softness that had once warmed him; he imagined forgiving her, forgiving himself, all the things he had no power to give when he was alive.
Then he let go.
The city swallowed his silhouette. The ring rolled and stopped at the edge of the rooftop, catching the moonlight once before darkness covered it. Below, Tokyo continued its restless breathing, unaware and unrepentant.
When the morning came, people would say there had been tragedy up on the rooftop. Some would whisper about a broken man at the end of his tether. Others would find their own cheap moral lessons in his silence. But for Kai — finally — there was a calm he had never known. The battlefield was over. The weight of despair that had been his companion since birth had, at last, eased.
But how know is it over where's kai dol going
Where his next life will be